Have to decide

I’ve had a few unexpected expenses this month and I have to decide whether I should cancel my appointment for this week so I can try to catch my balance up and use the money that I would have to spend for a ride on my balance. However, my T will be out the following week so I won’t be able to see him until the first week of May. Logically, I know that going this week is the best choice and I know they will understand about not being able to totally clear my balance this week. I guess I just feel disappointed that I can’t pay the entire balance right now. Paying for a ride will take about $80 out of what I had to pay them. I know they will understand though because they know that my car is still in the shop and I have to rely on rides.

The last time I canceled an appointment, I ended up really struggling and almost couldn’t get in.

I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your T, but could you keep your appt and pay it off over the next couple weeks, so you aren't left in limbo? I had to do that once - my mortgage bounced that week (oops) and I had no money to pay T. I sent him an email before the appt and just said "here's the situation" and he said to pay when I can. Unplanned absences from therapy can be difficult and if you didn't cope well last time you might not this time either.

I’m extremely fortunate that my T just bills me for sessions and lets me pay when I have the money which is usually once or twice a month.

Since I’ve been there every week since the end of March, I have more to pay now and also at a time when I have no one to take me so I’ve been renting a car one day a week. The cost of renting a car turned out to be the same cost as paying the person who was taking me so I’ve been getting the rental car because that also gives me a vehicle to run all of my other errands.

I’ve stopped with the person who was driving me because when I stopped for lunch on the way home, I asked him if he wanted anything and he did but my debit card got declined and I used one of the $20 bills to pay for food and he got angry at me.

Then my friend kept telling me she would take me but on the morning of the appointment, she wouldn’t ever answer the phone so I rented a car.

I think my T will understand about this situation.

My car just recently went into the shop so hopefully, I will get it back soon.

Being without a car has been so frustrating and I was getting frustrated about it and canceling half of my appointments and he told me not to cancel multiple appointments at the same time.

I learned my lesson after the last time I did that and ended up in a bad place and he opened a spot for me that day. But he usually can’t get me back in after I cancel an appointment.

I would ask your T if he's willing to push the balance forward a bit, especially because you won't be seeing him the first week of May. Could you see if you could get a cheaper rental car? Not sure how many options are in your area (like how many rental places). but maybe try shopping around, as $80 seems really high. Are you buying the insurance for the rental? You generally don't have to, assuming you have your own car insurance. If it's the same cost though, it does seem better to rent the car than to deal with the guy who was giving you rides.

Getting the care you need is so important. I hope they will understand.

I don’t know where you live but I can get a rental for about $35/day where I live. Also would you or your T be willing to do phone sessions so that you don’t have to worry about transportation?

I’ve thought about renting a car from Turo, the app. That seems to be cheaper and there’s a lower deposit so that’s less money being held up that could be free to use for something else.

I have no doubt that my T will have a problem with the situation and he knows that I will make the payment as soon as possible.

He focuses more on me getting the help I need and he’s flexible with payments. That makes it easier to focus on getting help vs. being blocked because I don’t have the full payment on my session date.

They’ve never had a problem about payments before so I know that I can go this week.

He told me in the beginning that he doesn’t do any therapy by phone.

I sent an email explaining the situation. They will get it tomorrow so they will know about the situation before my appointment on Wednesday.

$80 for one day sounds outrageous. Are you in the US?

Could you take an uber? I would think that an uber would cost significantly less than 80 dollars total- unless you are really far away. That might help your financial problems at least a little bit?

I sent an email explaining the situation. They will get it tomorrow so they will know about the situation before my appointment on Wednesday.

I’m in the US.

Uber is expensive where I live. Taking Uber to my appointment would cost $80 as well.

I couldn’t get a ride right up the road to the pharmacy so I got a ride with Uber and that trip cost me $40 and it wasn’t even that far away.

I’m disappointed that the people in my life are so unwilling to help. When my friend didn’t have a car, I gave her rides everywhere but I couldn’t even get her to take me to one place. The lady who lives up the road doesn’t take my treatment seriously and doesn’t consider it necessary for me to be in treatment but she also thinks that I can just snap out of my severe anxiety and panic.

It is definitely good that I plan to go this week. I feel overwhelmed with sadness right now.

I think the Uber and rental car fees seem outrageous but I’m stunned your friends charge you $80 for a ride to therapy. I realize they have to wait an hour while you’re in session, but still.. Unless you’re getting many other errands done the same day...I can’t imagine your friends or acquaintances getting paid $80 an hour to take you to your appointment.

I’m concerned someone’s exploiting you.
Sorry, that’s not your topic, Hope.

Getting back on topic, I would ask the T to carry your balance forward until you can pay it off. I agree with the others that your health and welfare are the most important.

That is a lot of money. I quit riding with the guy that was taking me because I thought that was outrageous for one trip to one place.

At least with a rental car, I have the car for the entire day which gives me time to run the errands that I can’t get to.

As for this other friend, I don’t think I’m going to continue in that friendship because of how she treats me.

The most disappointing thing is that no one in my life supports my treatment and the lady up the road tells me to “snap out of it.” She doesn’t understand what it’s like.

No, your neighbor does not understand what it’s like. Perhaps she never will.
I’m wondering if it’s her place to know why you go to therapy? If an acquaintance or friend asked me for a ride to an appointment, I’m not sure I would need to know *why* they are going. I certainly wouldn’t need to know all the details.

Glad your car will be repaired fairly soon. I don’t like feeling stranded or dependent on someone else to help me make it through my day.

Best wishes.

All of a sudden, a huge wave of sadness washed over me and I’m suffering. Now all of a sudden, Wednesday feels far away.