Making notes about what I want to talk about in session

For the last few weeks, I’ve been writing notes about what I want to talk about in session but when the session begins, I have been feeling too embarrassed to read the notes but I want to be able to do that.

Could you hand the piece of paper to him? My counsellor is used to me either reading things or saying 'I'm just going to give you this to read.'

That is a great idea. I will try that for my next session. I usually type it in notes on my phone but I can handwrite it on paper.

I have the exact same problem! I have a running list on my phone of things I wanna bring up in therapy, but like you, I get embarrassed or nervous for some reason and don’t do it. Which is frustrating because now the list is SO LONG lol

I find notes incredibly helpful and don't hesitate to reach for my phone to see what's next on the list. It saves me from leaving and thinking "crap I forgot to mention all these other things".

In the past if something was really difficult but I felt like I needed to talk about it, I'd send him an email and give him a head's up of what's going on in the hopes he'd bring it up. He never did, but at least I got it out there anyway.

lol my list is very long too!

The last couple of times when I didn’t read my notes, I had trouble getting my thoughts organized and it was difficult.

Like you mentioned, I didn’t want to forget anything.

The last 2 sessions have kind of been like laying some groundwork of a few things.

many of us understand this feeling. I don't really do notes anymore but I did constantly with my long term T, I agree with asking them to read it. However, there were times mine said no and thought it was better if I did, I'm not saying yours will but its possible. Just prepare for it. Turn away from them when reading if need be

Another thing with "alot" of stuff to cover, before every session, I used to go over the list before I left the house and circle the main points that were STILL important, and the stuff that didn't feel as important anymore, i let go, so if we ran out of time, it wasn't as hard on me. Good luck. it becomes easier in time

I think my T would also want me to read it. He wants me to be able to express what’s going on and it’s hard because sometimes I feel so worthless that I don’t deserve his help but he seems to understand where I’m at and he is patient with me.

I always feel better after talking with him though. I’m doing better with him than I ever have with anyone else.

He used to frustrate me so much and one time I told him that I wanted to go back to just med management and he wouldn’t let me do that and I’m glad that he didn’t because I’m slowly connecting with him.

I also struggle with anxiety before sessions.

Super common. Get yourself a routine. Some things I used to do was snuggle with my dog before leaving, I had a play list of "inspiring' songs to listen to in the car, and I'd practice breathing excerises, which really helped

I'm not sure if eating tends to make anxiety better or worse for you, depends on the person but if it tends to help, maybe a good meal or snack before hand too

Those are excellent ideas. I will try to figure out a routine.

I rarely had increased anxiety before therapy sessions but I often experience it before other kinds of meetings. What helps me best is being prepared. I would absolutely make a list of what I would like to bring up and think through it the day before at least. Then try to have a good night's sleep, eat a light nutritious breakfast in the morning (as DP also suggested) and try not to ruminate too much before the appointment. For me, it helps a lot to stick with my original plan and go through with it no matter how insecure I feel, otherwise I'll likely just have more anxiety and self-loathing afterward for not making it productive. This "protocol" wasn't what I always did around therapy, I allowed myself a lot more spontaneity and, I think, in my case that was part of the reason why therapy did not work well. I got into all sorts of distractions instead of addressing what I knew very well as the true issues. I think if I had stuck better with those plans and did not hide in avoidance, I probably would have been much more anxious before/in therapy. But it would have been a better strategy and what I would do now if I wanted to go to therapy again.

Preparing the day before will be helpful.

I have been waiting until the last minute even including sleeping until the last minute so when I do get up, I automatically feel rushed which I’m sure makes the anxiety worse.

Maybe that’s why I have trouble focusing my thoughts during sessions. I always feel overwhelmed even when the session begins.

I am going to do things differently before my next session.

Also, rushing around before going to therapy leads to all kinds of distractions.