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Old 04-15-2019, 11:22 AM #1
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Default Therapist Cancelled on Me

Hi Everyone. I was supposed to have therapy tonight at 5 but my therapist called and said she had a family emergency and needed to cancel, and that she would have the office call to reschedule me. The last time I saw her was the 18th of March, so almost a month. The office hasn't called to reschedule me yet but I wouldn't be surprised if it was another month before I got in. I'm feeling let down that I don't have therapy tonight. It means I can go to my volunteer position, but, I would have rather gone to therapy. Funny because last week I was really not feeling it, like I wasn't looking forward to my therapy appointment but that changed over the weekend, and suddenly I was looking forward to it.



I also have a decision to make. I have given up SH for Lent and my T was pushing me a bit to extend that decision out. Without her accountability, because I won't be seeing her so she won't be pushing me, I will be easy for me to not feel like I need to extend it out. I don't want to let myself off easy but I feel like, well she wasn't there for me, so it doesn't matter.



I feel a little abandoned, even though I know logically that is not what happened. And it is a little ridiculous to feel abandoned. I just feel like I don't have the support that I would have liked to have had. Especially because I was having SUI thoughts/feelings this past weekend, and now I have no help with them for another however long.



I guess I'm whining. I'd like to be heard. Thanks all. Kit
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Old 04-15-2019, 11:26 AM #2
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

I hear you Kit, and will PM you with a suggestion.

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Old 04-15-2019, 11:28 AM #3
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

Itís a sad feeling to m get canceled suddenly. Your T should make a special effort to see you promptly after the emergency resolves . 2 months is too long.
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Old 04-15-2019, 11:42 AM #4
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Hi Everyone. I was supposed to have therapy tonight at 5 but my therapist called and said she had a family emergency and needed to cancel, and that she would have the office call to reschedule me. The last time I saw her was the 18th of March, so almost a month. The office hasn't called to reschedule me yet but I wouldn't be surprised if it was another month before I got in. I'm feeling let down that I don't have therapy tonight. It means I can go to my volunteer position, but, I would have rather gone to therapy. Funny because last week I was really not feeling it, like I wasn't looking forward to my therapy appointment but that changed over the weekend, and suddenly I was looking forward to it.

I also have a decision to make. I have given up SH for Lent and my T was pushing me a bit to extend that decision out. Without her accountability, because I won't be seeing her so she won't be pushing me, I will be easy for me to not feel like I need to extend it out. I don't want to let myself off easy but I feel like, well she wasn't there for me, so it doesn't matter.

I feel a little abandoned, even though I know logically that is not what happened. And it is a little ridiculous to feel abandoned. I just feel like I don't have the support that I would have liked to have had. Especially because I was having SUI thoughts/feelings this past weekend, and now I have no help with them for another however long.

I guess I'm whining. I'd like to be heard. Thanks all. Kit
Firstly I don't think your whining at all. Your feelings are valid and make perfect sense.

I wouldn't be able to see someone who couldn't schedule me sooner if I needed it. Dealing with SUI thoughts/feelings is so very hard. How long have you been seeing this T? Would you consider seeing someone else. You could keep her as back up T?
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Old 04-15-2019, 11:48 AM #5
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

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Firstly I don't think your whining at all. Your feelings are valid and make perfect sense.

I wouldn't be able to see someone who couldn't schedule me sooner if I needed it. Dealing with SUI thoughts/feelings is so very hard. How long have you been seeing this T? Would you consider seeing someone else. You could keep her as back up T?
Hi Lemoncake. I've been seeing this T since August. Anywhere from 3 times a month to one time a month depending on her schedule. I think only one month it was 3 times. Her schedule is pretty tight. I've looked on Psychology today but I really haven't seen another T that looked like a good fit for me. So I would consider seeing someone else if I could find someone that wasn't strict CBT and also does sliding scale or takes my insurance. I'm not overly attached to this T or anything. But it just sucks that she's not there for me today. HUGS Kit
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Old 04-15-2019, 11:53 AM #6
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

Oh gosh, it's so hard to find a T that's a good fit - but wow. Even once a month seems really really difficult, unless you're very close to finishing up. I hope that they call soon, and make it a priority to get you in.

I'd be really upset about my T canceling on me with short notice, even if it's a good reason. It just is a crappy situation, honestly. It would be easier if she could at least have a plan... like if she'd open up an emergency spot to see you within a couple days.

*hugs* good luck!
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Old 04-15-2019, 12:03 PM #7
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

I couldn't handle once a month unless I was right on the cusp of being ready to leave therapy altogether. It seems like it would be impossible to get the momentum to make progress at that rate. I also think it's very understandable to feel disappointed and abandoned, even if your T has a perfectly good reason for canceling.

It sounds like things have just barely gotten started with this T, so maybe you can use this unintentional "break" to look around for a new T. My T is a good fit for me, but I probably wouldn't have chosen her based on her Psychology Today profile, if it had existed at the time. It might be worth trying out a few "maybes" and seeing what happens.
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Old 04-15-2019, 12:07 PM #8
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Default Re: Therapist Cancelled on Me

Hi Slumberkitty,

I am sorry to hear that your therapist has cancelled on you. That is such a difficult thing to deal with! I think your therapist has inadvertently ruptured your relationship and I hope she makes an effort to repair things. It isn't fair, especially when you've built rapport and especially when you want her help.

Have you told your therapist how much this affects you?

I hope things improve for you.

Thanks,
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Old 04-15-2019, 12:07 PM #9
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Oh man that is really difficult. Iím sorry you got cancelled on, especially when youíre struggling so much.

I wonít repeat what has already been said, but I will encourage you to try to continue refraining from SI. Not for her. Not for God. But for you. Because you deserve to let go of that pain and dysfunctional coping mechanism. Iím so proud of you for making it so far this Lent - keep pushing through and just do your best.
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Old 04-15-2019, 12:17 PM #10
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Oh man that is really difficult. Iím sorry you got cancelled on, especially when youíre struggling so much.

I wonít repeat what has already been said, but I will encourage you to try to continue refraining from SI. Not for her. Not for God. But for you. Because you deserve to let go of that pain and dysfunctional coping mechanism. Iím so proud of you for making it so far this Lent - keep pushing through and just do your best.
Thanks Piggy Momma. I'll try to keep going after Lent is over. I'm worried I'm going to fail in an epic way. Even having my T cancel on me is making me want to just throw in the towel. But I just have to get my emotions under control and try not to go into that whole she's abandoned me headspace. HUGS Kit
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