What have you learned from leaving therapy? - Page 3 - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-16-2019, 09:24 PM #21
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey Mopey is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 1,147
Mopey Mopey is offline
Poohbah
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 1,147 (SuperPoster!)

855 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

This is an intriguing subject. In retrospect I would say that the most important idea I left therapy with — and I really was through, at least at that time,— was that I had no desire ever to go back. And this was no disrespect to my therapist—quite the opposite—just that I’d gotten to the point where, for the most part, I needed to decide things for myself.
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 04-16-2019, 10:09 PM #22
BudFox BudFox is online now
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,812
BudFox BudFox is online now
Grand Magnate
BudFox has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,812 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
752 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
And what if going to therapy, for many of us, in not about believing somebody else "knows any better than you," but rather, we use therapy as a space where we have another willing person who will listen, help us perhaps find a way toward our own "realization" of "adulthood"? Most people don't go to therapy to "accept subjugation;" we've already been the victims of subjugation throughout our childhoods (generally), and therapy is a pathway beyond that experience of childhood subjugation into our own personal insight and adult autonomy.
From what i've seen, a meaningful number of therapy relationships are hierarchical and fear-based. Clients give up some of their dignity and power in order to "get help" and begin taking subtle forms of abuse in order not to be cut off from the supply of reassurance or alleged insight. Not saying it's always that way.

I found it was a Wizard of Oz thing... look behind the curtain and see that therapists are just as stupid and broken as everyone else. It's just an act. And i saw clearly how i'd been groveling for their phony wisdom.
BudFox is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 02:27 AM #23
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 500
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
Veteran Member
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 500

5 yr Member
810 hugs
given
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox View Post
From what i've seen, a meaningful number of therapy relationships are hierarchical and fear-based. Clients give up some of their dignity and power in order to "get help" and begin taking subtle forms of abuse in order not to be cut off from the supply of reassurance or alleged insight. .
exactly...

whether it was intentional or not or because of the structure/dynamic of the therapeutic relationship, therapy with my ex-T clearly fed into my deepest fears..my fears of being unworthy, unlovable, and that i would eventually be abandoned and forever lonely and disconnected from humans if i did not conform, appease and submit to others, including him. this often led to many painful and strong transference re-enactments playing out in the relationship with my T and dominated my therapy.

fortunately, when and after ending therapy, that was the thing i finally learned...i no longer had those fears. i fully accepted and embraced that i was worthy of love, from both others and myself, and i no longer feared being alone. i no longer feared that my T would abandon me or that i needed to earn his love and be loved by him to survive life. for me, it was incredibly freeing to no longer feel i had to live a life dictated by those fears.
koru_kiwi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 04:11 AM #24
here today here today is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 2,973
here today here today is offline
Magnate
here today has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 2,973

5 yr Member
1,053 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post
. . .therapy with my ex-T clearly fed into my deepest fears..my fears of being unworthy, unlovable, and that i would eventually be abandoned and forever lonely and disconnected from humans if i did not conform, appease and submit to others, including him. this often led to many painful and strong transference re-enactments playing out in the relationship with my T and dominated my therapy.
. . .
You've expressed it well, thanks.
here today is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-19-2019, 11:15 AM #25
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,747
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
missbella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,747

8 yr Member
750 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

My therapists led me to believe they had auras, power and wisdom I couldn’t hope to possess. It took a long separation to understand what theatrical performances they staged.
missbella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-19-2019, 11:57 AM #26
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,970
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,970 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

I am always confused as to why you reply to any therapy threads being that you do not like it, support it and think its a waste of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox View Post
From what i've seen, a meaningful number of therapy relationships are hierarchical and fear-based. Clients give up some of their dignity and power in order to "get help" and begin taking subtle forms of abuse in order not to be cut off from the supply of reassurance or alleged insight. Not saying it's always that way.

I found it was a Wizard of Oz thing... look behind the curtain and see that therapists are just as stupid and broken as everyone else. It's just an act. And i saw clearly how i'd been groveling for their phony wisdom.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-19-2019, 12:24 PM #27
PurpleMirrors3 PurpleMirrors3 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Someehere
Posts: 139
PurpleMirrors3 PurpleMirrors3 is offline
Member
PurpleMirrors3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Someehere
Posts: 139 (SuperPoster!)

23 hugs
given
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I am always confused as to why you reply to any therapy threads being that you do not like it, support it and think its a waste of time.

I like his opinions and feedback - if you know his therapy story, his views come from personal therapy pain (ie not random trolling). I think it’s great that this forum has a plethora of different perspective and experiences. He’s offered explanations to things I’ve personally experienced and would have wondered if it was just me...

We are all working though something by posting here.

Last edited by PurpleMirrors3; 04-19-2019 at 01:07 PM.
PurpleMirrors3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 01:07 PM #28
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,747
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
missbella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,747

8 yr Member
750 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I am always confused as to why you reply to any therapy threads being that you do not like it, support it and think its a waste of time.

You apparently don’t understand the content of Bud’s post which is about hierarchy and power issues. I find his posts insightful, complementing my exploration of harmful therapy. He writes about topics the profession itself won’t explore.

Since you apparently can’t comprehend his posts, why gibe him with an ad hominem remark? Please give others the respect with their concerns you would like with yours. Why the compulsion to. “police” others? And if you dislike someone, how sincere is your feedback?
missbella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 01:43 PM #29
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 882
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
Grand Member
Lrad123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 882

1 yr Member
272 hugs
given
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox View Post
I found it was a Wizard of Oz thing... look behind the curtain and see that therapists are just as stupid and broken as everyone else. It's just an act. And i saw clearly how i'd been groveling for their phony wisdom.
I was new to therapy about a year and a half ago and was very wary of the whole Wizard of Oz scenario, that you describe, but what I’ve recently found is that the whole wizard thing was my idea, not his. He’s never professed to be wiser than me, but has patiently waited for me to come to the realization that he’s just a regular person who is interested in listening to what I have to say. It’s a huge relief and I feel like I can finally start therapy.
Lrad123 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 02:01 PM #30
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 854
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
Grand Member
ArtleyWilkins has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 854 (SuperPoster!)

1 hugs
given
Default Re: What have you learned from leaving therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123 View Post
I was new to therapy about a year and a half ago and was very wary of the whole Wizard of Oz scenario, that you describe, but what I’ve recently found is that the whole wizard thing was my idea, not his. He’s never professed to be wiser than me, but has patiently waited for me to come to the realization that he’s just a regular person who is interested in listening to what I have to say. It’s a huge relief and I feel like I can finally start therapy.
My therapists actively would not allow me to idolize them or put them on a pedestal. They never claimed to have knowledge I didn't have, particularly about myself, and they certainly didn't claim to have all the answers (any actually). They were with me while I figured things out. They were there to dialogue and perhaps learn to utilize what I learned along the way with some regularity, always with the end goal to not have to rely on them through my problems.
ArtleyWilkins is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:32 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.