Just another client

My attachment disorder is showing.

I have been seeing my T for almost a year. I am extremely attached.

He does things that some may consider pink or red flags, like he has said he loved me (not like a sexual way) and he has told me I am one of his favorite clients. Once someone nabbed my usualy spot so I scheduled after that one on that day and he said he was disapointed that it wasnt me at my usual time. He talks about himself freely, among other things and these things have made me feel a little special though I do wonder sometimes if he is being ethical. But this does not change the fact that I feel a special bond with him and have really come to rely on our hour each week. I know he is a "parent" right now to my subconscious, and I have been abandoned and neglected by my parents.

Well I just go an email from his office (not personal email) that in 2 months his days are changing and the new schedule wont work for me. Now im sitting here all frozen and not sure how to process this. He knew Thursdays were the only day that worked for me. He gave me no indication in our last session that this might be happening soon. I just got this cold heartless email, and I am feeling quite abandoned. I dont cry and I just cried.

I feel foolish for letting myself think that I really was anything to him besides a portion of his paycheck. I'm angry. I don't want to see him again. But I do.

I cant rely on anyone. Not even my therapist. I feel so empty.

I'm sorry that happened JustExisting. I hope you can talk to your T about his new schedule. Maybe he will find a way to still see you on Thursdays. It is hard to feel like you can't rely on anyone, even your T. But I get it. I feel that way sometimes too. HUGS kit.

Issues like this involving the "frame" and the housekeeping boundary details of therapy come out of no where and feel like an ambush. They are the meaty part of therapy sometimes, and working through this with your therapist and repairing the relationship might bond you even more. Maybe he just forgot to talk to you about it bc it isn't happening for 2 months ? I get how you feel, because I am freaking out bc my T changed his billing and it reads point of sale from a state on a different coast than mine on my credit card statements, a state in which he used to live. I am petrified he is moving back there and lying to me that he isn't . However, I have been through these panics and resolutions many times with him, so I am more hopeful and less reacting. For sure your T should have talked to you personally before you received a letter like that! I hope he owns it and apologizes. I hope there is a time that works for both of you. So sorry for how sad and lost you feel today; it is a shock to be reminded it isn't as personal as it feels at times- it is and it isn't.

Thanks for the replies. I dont know how to bring it up without it seeming like i am guilt tripping him. This affects me more than it should. One of my problems that I am working on is ability to stick with things once I start them, and keeping a schedule! I cant hold a job or go to school because when I feel pressured to keep a schedule I get overwhelmed. Even just an appointment for ANYTHING feels overwhelming sometimes. When I started therapy I never thought I could keep up even with just one appointment a week. We just discussed some of this last week, and he mentioned that I have not yet missed an appointment, and yet he failed to mention the change in schedule that was coming up. I might be able to make it work but it will be much more difficult. I had thursdays set aside as my mental health day and it felt like a treat, which I think is why I have been able to stick with it for so long. But now, if I have to squeeze it into an already busy Tuesday... I just dont know. I think ill burn out. I hate this. Everything was going to well I just started with a tutor to learn math, this was a huge step for me and I was only able to do it because i have been buidling on my discipline and feeling stable. This will screw up everything I have managed to do so far... i just dont know if I can manage with the new schedule. I know I am pathetic I cant even keep and damn schedule like everyone else does, but hey, Im in therapy trying to get better... but will I be in two months? I am going to miss my therapist. I feel sick. I was just starting to really improve and I feel like the whole of last year is just a waste of time and now I have to mourn the loss of this relationship. I didnt sign up for a broken heart. I didnt know that was what I was going to be getting in therapy.