Couch 194: The Floral Couch

Extra credit opportunity for students?

I am pleased to report TJ’s gf waffles are excellent.

OMERS

How exactly do you replicate the smell? LOL

I would not give extra credit even to get my house dusted. Such is the extent to which I do not believe in extra credit.


TJ's has many delights. Glad you had a positive waffle experience.

T defuses a Young Living essential oil blend in his office. I am not a huge YL fan but exceptions can be made. For those times I need a little *hug* I sniff the bottle. When I need T as a pocket rider I put it in a defused necklace... when SHTF... T works out of an older home so I put a sm heater on an old trunk I have that has that older home smell and then defuse the oil...

My stalker skills might be *just* a tad over the top.

T figured out the necklace last session... we haven’t talked about it yet ....

Hey Kit, been thinking about this a lot. I am a Christian but have had other *Christians* shove religion down my throat so I can be a little shy. Please if you don’t like the idea do not worry about offending me by just scrolling by or whatever...


Scripture talks about out body as a temple. I have an oh so deep love for spiritual architecture (yes, I am a mess this week). Most churches have a grounds person or maitainence person, some even live on site. They polish the pews, tend to the lawns and gardens... through a lot of hard work that is often unseen and unappreciated they make sure our churches have that smell that draws us into the holy, that the pews are soft and shiny with that touch of lemon scent (if you are old enough for pews... the chairs in churches bugs me). Could you find a picture of a church or cathedral you admire... Norte Dame might even be a good one for this as it rises from her own ashes to become whole again... and imagine yourself that grounds keeper... working hard each day to keep the Church pristine and holy? Yes, even groundskeepers get sick, disasters happen, church goers leave a mess... and lord help us when a wedding comes through... but, the grounds keeper takes a deep breath, remembers the grandure and sanctity of the Church, picks up their supplies and goes back to cleaning, restoring and protecting the Church. And this, this job of keeping the holy oh holies clean and preserved is their daily gift to God for all that God has done for us.


I hope I didn’t sound too preachy.

Had a dream about T last night... a good one but I want to cry. I know I *should* talk to T about it but far too ashamed to email yet alone talk to him.


I got to session and T, as always, asked what I needed. I said I needed to ask him a question and he reminded me that questions are always welcomed in therapy while I squirmed.

I told him how my mom had taken me to a T and it was VERY traumatizing. I was afraid of men and I was alone with him in his office. I was BIG into animal rights then and everything was red leather so it felt morbid. The floor lights and desk lamp kept it dim to almost dark and the shades were drawn tight. I was in terror as he barraged me with questions and requests trying to get me to open up (yes, that really happened... it super sucked).

So, after much fidgeting I asked T what he would have done with that scared 6th grader and shared what my perceptions of therapists were at that age (basically a person with no empathy who was outside the law to be able to do anything to get your behavior to socially acceptable. They were allowed to do things that would fall well into the definition of torture but had a license to allow it).

T paused and softened. “I see her every week”. You became the strong one, the fighter, the protector. Not many people will take you on and most will loose. 6th grade you and younger you stay tight to your side or just behind you. They trust you to protect them and keep them safe. I try to show protector you that I can keep you safe. When the young ones peer out from behind you I soften, I try to offer a smile but sometimes it is too much. I work with them every week by keeping protector you safe. You didn’t trust your mom to keep you safe with the other therapist but they trust you to keep them safe with me. I hope some day they might trust me enough to come out from behind you but I must prove myself to them first. The will not come out so long as they need you to keep them safe and that’s OK.


I should probably stop making my room smell like his office before ai go to bed...

Can I ask what blend he diffuses? I'm a YL member (but don't sell to anyone else, it's just for my personal use, and I need to get out of it), so curious. I use their Tranquil blend before sessions (and if I'm stressed in general), but I think that's only sold in a rollerball, so I doubt he uses that.

ETA: If you don't feel comfortable disclosing it publicly, feel free to PM me.

Good morning y’all. Hope everyone’s doing okay.

Good news is that I got a new hanging plant and it’s nice to see it thriving in my window.

Bad news is that I’m still feeling really bad. I had a really stressful thing on Thursday and I thought I’d feel better afterwards but instead I feel worse and it’s really making me nervous—am I falling into the abyss again? I emailed my T expecting not to get a response (the deal is that when I email him to say that I’m feeling badly he won’t respond, but if I really need him I can call/text him) and he didn’t respond but I wish he had because I just feel so awful. I could call or text but I’m trying to hold out. (Also he’ll make me promise to spend the day out of the house and that’s just too overwhelming right now.)

I have just designed an extra credit scavenger hunt for my students. They will have to trudge all over campus to find stuff related to the course. And then they will have to find me following clues in the form of a Delphic Oracle on my colleagues’ office doors.

It will at least make them look around more, notice some things they might not have before, and remind them of some stuff in the course. And amuse me.

I don’t hold with extra credit that isn’t relevant to the course or in allowing students to do so much of it they can get away with not learning the material.

I have just designed an extra credit scavenger hunt for my students. They will have to trudge all over campus to find stuff related to the course. And then they will have to find me following clues in the form of a Delphic Oracle on my colleagues’ office doors.

It will at least make them look around more, notice some things they might not have before, and remind them of some stuff in the course. And amuse me.

I don’t hold with extra credit that isn’t relevant to the course or in allowing students to do so much of it they can get away with not learning the material.

I would contact if it would help. Is there anyone else you can reach out for extra support now? Can you maybe push your next session closer?

chihiro, if your t typically encourages getting out, and the BF wants to help, what about going with the BF for coffee/walk/quick trip to the grocery or a flower shop for flowers for the table....something short and simple, anyway, so it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming? Maybe it would help another 5%?
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