Couch 194: The Floral Couch

Thanks, SD. I should have thought about using cost rather than fee.

I'm tired. I wish I could curl up on the floor in my office and take a nap. But I can't. So I am holding my head up on my hand with my elbow resting on the desk.

I just saw a student walking through campus with a cat on her shoulder. Cat did not seem happy.

I know neither of my kitties would be happy if I did that to them. And I'm sure they'd let me know of their displeasure.

What was I thinking giving up SH until Pentecost?! I don't think I can do it. It's so far away. And the urges are intense. And T isn't very helpful with the SH thing. She just says it's a symptom, not the problem. Well it's a problem right now when I want to SH and I committed to not doing it! Ugh. What was I thinking?! Okay, whine over. What else can I do? Deep breathing. Meditation. When I get off of work, I can play with the dog or the kitties. Maybe my Dad will play basketball with me tonight, if he isn't too tired from the drive back from my sister's. When I get home, I can wrap myself up in a blanket, burrito style, and have that "held" feeling.

HUGS, Kit.

You can do this...one day at a time. You have other coping mechanisms, and two of the best purring coping mechanisms there can be.

more hugs...

Lost

Thanks @LostOnTheTrail yup, my kitties are pretty good at being a distraction from SH. And they are really good little fur babies.

today i am going to do a yt painting tutorial to try and learn other techniques. I havent heard back from the art class lady after i emailed her and said i was looking or something more advanced and sent her pics of the things i need help with. A week is while to wait dont you think when she replied in a little over 24 hours to the first email.

ok started watching My Favourite Martian instead uncle martin decides to try love at first as an experiment and falls in love with a stripper. i should clarify the lady was reading a book in the park and has a policeman as an obsessed fan i think

I really hate paternal transference. Even when I'm fully aware of what's going on and what the feelings are about. Still doesn't make it easier. Maybe even makes it harder because I know they can't be resolved through this, that it's stuff from the past that I can never go back to and fix. That developmental window, it's gone. But the twinges of things that I could have had then...it hurts.

Yeah I came home this morning. The shingles are on my right side. I see the surgeon Monday morning about my appendix thing. This is so weird but then the dr did say I wouldn't have symptoms from the appendix thing so it might have been like that for awhile I don't know. I will ask surgeon on Monday where that comes from.

I still have a lot of pain but I feel like myself again because I know what's going on. Time to take a Percocet and go to bed. Night all.

LT - I think i am struggling with this also. I have a GP appointment monday, and i always feel so judged. Even tho he is super nice. But your last lines got me thinking - maybe the way for us to have now what we didnt have then, is to be the adult in our homes. Cuz i think like i told my dentist once - theres no grownup in my house making sure i brush my teeth before i go to bed. There NEVER was. Anyway, this week my daily goal was just to not be crazy any day (not overeat, not overspend? not otherwise hurt myself - not sure WHAT i meant!) And to make myself smell good, instead of smelling like a goat, as my mother used to tell me i did.

I think it's because it's developmental that it can be resolved. But I don't think it can happen with this T because it's just not how he works, and he doesn't have those skills.

It's not about fixing the past--you're right, that time has gone--it's about fixing your relationship to yourself as you experience your past in the present.

I got the tiny terror a bag of bully bites. Now, I learn that beef pizzle is bull penis. So I gave my dog a bag of dicks. To be honest, that's right up his alley... but it's not really what I had in mind.

He also got one of those Himalayan cheese things.

ETA: Oh, and some nice trachea.

Hello, Couch. Hugs to all who need them. Seems like a rough week in Couch-land.

In my neck of the woods, I was faced with a near-grown-adult meltdown. My poor kiddo just plain got stuck and started crying in the kitchen over...??? He didn't even know. I got him patted together and convinced him to shower, eat something, and lie down on the couch so that he'd still have my company but he could get a rest. (Shower-snack-sleep is my go-to teen boy recipe for a reset.)

So I was standing there in the kitchen a little bewildered because it really was a bit out of the blue, mentally beating myself up because my grown kid clearly hasn't learned to cope and obviously that is my fault because I am his mother and didn't teach him, when my youngest (who'd been loading the dishwasher) said, "Whoa. That was some mad parenting skillzzz, Mom." And I said, "Really?" and he said, "Yeah. That was good."

Then I realized that I've raised some pretty good humans, and that I just showed my nearly grown young person that falling apart is an okay place to be, and that helping work it out when they fall apart IS the parenting and teaching part. Trying to stay in that space. Why is it so so so easy to second-guess myself?

I'm remarkably prudish, so I'm surprised by how much I laughed at this. Thank you!

Breggsit
coucharoonios
Couchketeers.
Choco-bomination
Defenestrate
Dr. T
extremeties
ex-MC
gosling
ibuprophen
junior cat emeritus
Mr T
non-performing hair
Polio water
punsteroids
SIM cards
sweetcakes
polyamuse something
russian ambassador
The woman

ad astra per aspera
You got your ibupro- in my fen-phen
Women are allowed to take up space

I'm glad your littlest one picked up on it. It may sounds small but even feeling comfortable enough to cry in front of someone else is a big thing.He came to you when he could have hidden away in his room. That says a lot.

Tiny terror comes up as a chihuahua for me..

Morning, Couch.

Still recovering from yesterday's session. Trusting people is hard, but it looks like I'm gonna have to do a lot more of that going forward.