Couch 194: The Floral Couch

unaluna · Apr 27, 2019 at 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

And.... this is coming from a therapist who ended my last session so he could deal with another one of his clients who was basically throwing a fit until she got t on the phone with her. Yet I expect too much?

Well, maybe someone can explain to me - and i dont mean to be picking on you, or saying this is what youre doing.

Whats the point in saying, "well NOW i dont have time for YOU!" when your t comes around to you and says, okay, your turn, lets go.

We wait in line for their availability. So what? Its a one-to-many relationship, they are one, we are many. Its one-to-one when its our time.

Seriously, i am asking, why are we saying we are mad at them because this is how it is? Or is it... transference?

stopdog · Apr 27, 2019 at 10:36 PM

It is disrespectful for a therapist to think a client is going to drop everything and come when they beckon.

Apr 27, 2019 at 10:42 PM

only to help ease my anxiety it is 22 hours to go. at least i am not as bad as a week ago doing this just about evry hour

unaluna · Apr 27, 2019 at 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

It is disrespectful for a therapist to think a client is going to drop everything and come when they beckon.

But youre standing in line waiting. You beckoned first. And you can multitask.

Glass half empty, half full, i say.

I mean, otherwise waddya do, just wait for your turn to come around again, and refuse it again?

To clarify, we are talking about NOT regularly scheduled sessions, but more like out of session contact?

stopdog · Apr 27, 2019 at 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

But youre standing in line waiting. You beckoned first. And you can multitask.

Glass half empty, half full, i say.

I mean, otherwise waddya do, just wait for your turn to come around again, and refuse it again?

To clarify, we are talking about NOT regularly scheduled sessions, but more like out of session contact?

Again - not surprising we disagree. I consider it a difference to say "I have tomorrow open at 4 if you would like - please let me know by X tonight if you would like to have an appointment at that time"
v
"I will see you at X tomorrow morning"
I would consider the former and completely refuse the latter.
Therapists do not get to dictate to me when I will have an appointment. They can offer and I can accept or decline. I never felt like I had to take anything they had - I also have choice. I never felt like I needed them any more than I thought they needed clients (not me specifically -but they actually do need people to hand them money to sit there).
I do not believe the therapist is doing the client a favor by having a free spot in which to see them. I see it as the therapist makes money from appointments and wants to fill a spot with someone from whom they will make money.

Apr 27, 2019 at 11:01 PM

Tomorrow i am definitely going out to an urban sketchers event i have cleaned of my camping chair and put it in the boot. it seems doable now but i will wait and see

healed84 · Apr 27, 2019 at 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Again - not surprising we disagree. I consider it a difference to say "I have tomorrow open at 4 if you would like - please let me know by X tonight if you would like to have an appointment at that time"

v

"I will see you at X tomorrow morning"

I would consider the former and completely refuse the latter.

Therapists do not get to dictate to me when I will have an appointment. They can offer and I can accept or decline. I never felt like I had to take anything they had - I also have choice. I never felt like I needed them any more than I thought they needed clients (not me specifically -but they actually do need people to hand them money to sit there).

I do not believe the therapist is doing the client a favor by having a free spot in which to see them. I see it as the therapist makes money from appointments and wants to fill a spot with someone from whom they will make money.

That is for sure how it felt.. he always says, I have an appointment open at this time let me know if you want it.. or I will put you in on this time in case you do want it. Not, I have time x open see you then. Though to be fair he did know that one of the things that I was pissed about was not being able to get into see him last week. So, I think he may have said it that way because he assumed I would want the first possible appointment he had open.

feralkittymom · Apr 27, 2019 at 11:33 PM

But isn't this the T that is notorious for cancelling at the last minute, not showing up, and generally screwing up appt times? At least that's the impression I've had for a long time.

WarmFuzzySocks · Apr 27, 2019 at 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Tomorrow i am definitely going out to an urban sketchers event i have cleaned of my camping chair and put it in the boot. it seems doable now but i will wait and see

At first I thought you meant skechers the shoes, but then I realized you mean sketchers the people who do art. That sounds way cooler than shoes.

I hope you get to go.

What do urban sketchers sketch?
That sounds like a tongue twister: How many sketchers would a sketchy sketcher sketch if a sketchy sketcher could sketch sketchers?

Apr 28, 2019 at 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

At first I thought you meant skechers the shoes, but then I realized you mean sketchers the people who do art. That sounds way cooler than shoes.

I hope you get to go.

What do urban sketchers sketch?
That sounds like a tongue twister: How many sketchers would a sketchy sketcher sketch if a sketchy sketcher could sketch sketchers?

they are group of people who meet in their local areas and draw in whatever medium they prefer what they see whether it is buildings a street scene but tomorrow they are going to a railway museum which interests me as my great grand father, grandfather and brother were all train driver
Urban Sketchers Chicago: 7 Ways To Enjoy Urban Sketching More

unaluna · Apr 28, 2019 at 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

But isn't this the T that is notorious for cancelling at the last minute, not showing up, and generally screwing up appt times? At least that's the impression I've had for a long time.

Again, my question was, what is the point of saying no? To teach the t a lesson? Arent you cutting off your nose to spite your face? Are you trying to beat him to the punch? Hurt him before he hurts you again? The t is NOT IMPORTANT. They are replaceable!

If your only goal is some weird kind of revenge, then fine, dont go. But if you actually wanted help with something, or to talk to someone, then go talk when they are available. Isnt it just that simple? You cant talk to them when they are NOT there! What am i missing?

You have to take a leap of faith and trust they will be there, and that things can be different. Thats whats scary. Said the lady who's been afraid to take a shower for two weeks, gross.

ScarletPimpernel · Apr 28, 2019 at 12:19 AM

We were looking into buying a mobile home. We just found out that the park can deny your application if you have a low credit score (which we do). *SIGH* Looks like all we can do is rent...but of course, they check your freaking credit score too!!! We might be living in a motel for awhile

stopdog · Apr 28, 2019 at 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Again, my question was, what is the point of saying no? ....

If your only goal is some weird kind of revenge, then fine, dont go. But if you actually wanted help with something, or to talk to someone, then go talk when they are available. Isnt it just that simple? You cant talk to them when they are NOT there! What am i missing? .

It is not for revenge that I would not go - the therapist cares not whether I am there or not. But I do care how the therapist approaches it, their attitude, and what I would have to do to arrange my schedule to attend. If you don't, then fine. But I greatly would care. How would I feel if I acquiesced to what amounts to a summons from the therapist versus if I declined to be summoned in such a perfunctory fashion?
I never found all that much benefit from them and no help at all so that is part of it for me.

unaluna · Apr 28, 2019 at 02:01 AM

That is clearly stated. I mean, you clearly state that my assumptions dont hold for you, so it follows that neither would my conclusions.

Ha ha! In other words, we agree!

But - im still left with my assumptions and my stinky conclusions...

Lemoncake · Apr 28, 2019 at 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

That is clearly stated. I mean, you clearly state that my assumptions dont hold for you, so it follows that neither would my conclusions.

Ha ha! In other words, we agree!

But - im still left with my assumptions and my stinky conclusions...

Your stinky conclusions make sense for me.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2019 at 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

We were looking into buying a mobile home. We just found out that the park can deny your application if you have a low credit score (which we do). *SIGH* Looks like all we can do is rent...but of course, they check your freaking credit score too!!! We might be living in a motel for awhile

I wonder if they'd let you either live in the trailer park or rent an apartment/house if you gave them a certain number of months' rent up front? Because you would have a bunch of cash from the home sale, right?

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2019 at 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

My car's engine light came on. I've only driven it for 1,600 miles. Just more stress to deal with.

Out of curiosity, did you get gas shortly before it came on? If so, check your gas cap--I think sometimes if that's not screwed on tightly (or the door is open), the light can come on. Or it could be a bad sensor. I think there are places that will diagnose it for free (they just have to plug it into some sort of machine).

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 28, 2019 at 07:59 AM

Afternoon, Couch.

Yoga is helping me stay grounded, but man oh man, the Critic is loud. Whatever happens over the next few weeks, I'm gonna need R to help me ignore the bastard so we can get some work done.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2019 at 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

And.... this is coming from a therapist who ended my last session so he could deal with another one of his clients who was basically throwing a fit until she got t on the phone with her. Yet I expect too much?

That's actually what my mind jumped to--that he let that client make that demand and responded to it. You wouldn't do something like that. I would definitely talk to him about all of this. Because it certainly doesn't sound like you ask him for too much. Especially considering that he's a part of your safety plan, like you mentioned in that other post. Maybe this is a case where he's sort of burned out with his job and is taking it out on you?

And I would also be bothered by him just saying "I have this time on Monday, see you then." If I ask for an earlier session, my T will always say something like, "I have 10:30 Monday--would that work for you?" I think you should still go talk to him though.

susannahsays · Apr 28, 2019 at 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Said the lady who's been afraid to take a shower for two weeks, gross.

Are you ok?

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Couch 194: The Floral Couch

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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,730 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Apr 27, 2019 at 10:36 PM #762 It is disrespectful for a therapist to think a client is going to drop everything and come when they beckon. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 27, 2019 at 10:42 PM #763 only to help ease my anxiety it is 22 hours to go. at least i am not as bad as a week ago doing this just about evry hour

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 27, 2019 at 11:01 PM #766 Tomorrow i am definitely going out to an urban sketchers event i have cleaned of my camping chair and put it in the boot. it seems doable now but i will wait and see

feralkittymom Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2012 Location: yada Posts: 4,415 11 1,974 hugs given	Apr 27, 2019 at 11:33 PM #768 But isn't this the T that is notorious for cancelling at the last minute, not showing up, and generally screwing up appt times? At least that's the impression I've had for a long time.

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,410 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,421 hugs given	Apr 28, 2019 at 12:19 AM #772 We were looking into buying a mobile home. We just found out that the park can deny your application if you have a low credit score (which we do). SIGH Looks like all we can do is rent...but of course, they check your freaking credit score too!!! We might be living in a motel for awhile __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,867 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Apr 28, 2019 at 02:01 AM #774 That is clearly stated. I mean, you clearly state that my assumptions dont hold for you, so it follows that neither would my conclusions. Ha ha! In other words, we agree! But - im still left with my assumptions and my stinky conclusions...