Couch 194: The Floral Couch

Apr 28, 2019 at 11:57 PM

I sent one last text telling him I thought that he let himself off on an ethical technicality because said he thought I wasn't benefitting anymore even though I repeatedly said it was beneficial then I deleted his number and texts.

Apr 29, 2019 at 12:01 AM

The other psych is a woman I don't talk well women I don't know why. I don't know if I want to even go see her. He couldn't think of any males that would suit me. I am leaving it for a month to decide because my gp is worried about my lack of a support system and I would rather not see the community mental health team.

NP_Complete · Apr 29, 2019 at 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

It's 6.48am and i'm at the gym on a treadmill doing a rolling hills workout, maybe that's why i'm so grumpy, but How do you deal with shame in therapy?

My choice is always : A. run away

I turn what feels like alarming shades of red. I hide my face. I close my eyes. (Not necessarily all at the same time.) I never look at him. But I've never run away. He has never shamed me, but I have felt ashamed. It's a hard feeling to handle.

WarmFuzzySocks · Apr 29, 2019 at 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

It's 6.48am and i'm at the gym on a treadmill doing a rolling hills workout, maybe that's why i'm so grumpy, but How do you deal with shame in therapy?

My choice is always : A. run away

I choose B: Pretend really hard that it doesn't exist and carry on.

Kind of like ignoring the smell when someone farts: What shame? Surely no one here in this room would be crass enough to feel shame.

(ETA: Just for the record, in case it's not clear, I do not actually believe shame to be crass. Not other people's anyway.)

WarmFuzzySocks · Apr 29, 2019 at 01:23 AM

Today was yard work, part 2. The weather was perfect...sunny but not too warm to work comfortably.

Then I went for a walk to meet my girlfriends for a late lunch. It's gorgeous here. The dogwoods are blooming.

Couch 194: The Floral Couch

I just looked in the mirror as I was getting ready for bed, and the back of my neck and shoulders are an alarming shade of red.

Apr 29, 2019 at 01:30 AM

A big thank you for all who put up with my **** today and those whose offered hugs and words of support.

Apr 29, 2019 at 01:31 AM

I was supposed to go out to the sketching event but I took another valium instead they happen every week so I go next time

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2019 at 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

The other psych is a woman I don't talk well women I don't know why. I don't know if I want to even go see her. He couldn't think of any males that would suit me. I am leaving it for a month to decide because my gp is worried about my lack of a support system and I would rather not see the community mental health team.

I wouldn't be able to work with a woman T either so I can understand that.Maybe try to find a T on your own to help you get through this and I think your GP is right you need a support system.

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2019 at 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

I was supposed to go out to the sketching event but I took another valium instead they happen every week so I go next time

Maybe sign some up for another art event that you like. What about music?

Lemoncake · 02:41 AM

From GOT episode 3:

"Perhaps the most heroic thing is to look truth in the face."

"Everything you did brought you were you are now.Where you belong."

Lemoncake · 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I turn what feels like alarming shades of red. I hide my face. I close my eyes. (Not necessarily all at the same time.) I never look at him. But I've never run away. He has never shamed me, but I have felt ashamed. It's a hard feeling to handle.

I know R wouldn't either, and he didn't with the ET, the parental transference and everything else.

Edit:

P.s

Wow to episode 3.

Going to shower and I have to leave for dermatology at 10.30am.

chihirochild · Apr 29, 2019 at 03:05 AM

Four hours until this night shift is over.

Nine more shifts to go and then I’ve got two weeks of vacation.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 29, 2019 at 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

My T said no! I knew it would it happen but it is still a shock and he didn't even offer an explanation I only have the original one that he wants to do more non client based things. I am kind of numb and just want to sleep. He gave a referral to another psych

I'm so sorry BCM. It seems like he could have at least given you an explanation with the refusal. Since you said you weren't sure about working with a woman in the other post, could you try looking around for someone on your own?

Jersey 4 · Apr 29, 2019 at 06:01 AM

Hey all. Sorry I left you all hanging with a promise of nutty parent stories. That phone interview yesterday lead to setting up a meeting in person. I have to find all my paperwork. My CPR certs are missing. I looked all night. I can’t find them. I also need to run to the pharmacy today as I need a new TDap shot-so I’ll have the paperwork for that. I did find my flu shot receipt. I also need to purchase something other than a t shirt to wear. Nanny interviews are very casual. I will wear jeans but I just feel like I should wear something other than one of my plain t shirts.

Jersey 4 · Apr 29, 2019 at 06:25 AM

LT- You don’t seem to fall into the nutty parent category to me. As long as flushing sweaters down the toilet stay contained in your dreams...I think it’s okay.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 29, 2019 at 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

LT- You don’t seem to fall into the nutty parent category to me. As long as flushing sweaters down the toilet stay contained in your dreams...I think it’s okay.

LOL, thanks! Had some pretty random dreams last night, too...

Good luck in your interview--is it this week?

Jersey 4 · Apr 29, 2019 at 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

LOL, thanks! Had some pretty random dreams last night, too...

Good luck in your interview--is it this week?

Thanks. Yes. It’s tomorrow. I have to get cracking on my notes and paperwork.

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2019 at 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Four hours until this night shift is over.

Nine more shifts to go and then I’ve got two weeks of vacation.

How are your shifts spread out, are they all in one go or every other day?

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2019 at 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

Thanks. Yes. It’s tomorrow. I have to get cracking on my notes and paperwork.

Good luck!

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2019 at 08:09 AM

3Pm I'm back.

I actually feel good.

I emailed R asking for my sessions back, after cancelling and telling him I wanted to be alone.

Possible trigger:

For derm I was first at venereology, then switched to general surgery. Where patients come in with acute conditions or follow ups . Then at the end on the ward we had a rare case today. The doctor said he helped diagnose it was the first case he'd seen in 20 years. The boy was hospitalized because the swelling was so bad, but he was being treated so looked much better . Another fact about my derm doctor that he told us today apart from the fact that he's also worked at John Hopkins and the Mayo clinic, he also worked on some of the very first trials with interferon a.We're not impressed, we just want to leave on time when lesson is supposed to end.

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Couch 194: The Floral Couch

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Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 28, 2019 at 11:57 PM #861 I sent one last text telling him I thought that he let himself off on an ethical technicality because said he thought I wasn't benefitting anymore even though I repeatedly said it was beneficial then I deleted his number and texts.

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 29, 2019 at 12:01 AM #862 The other psych is a woman I don't talk well women I don't know why. I don't know if I want to even go see her. He couldn't think of any males that would suit me. I am leaving it for a month to decide because my gp is worried about my lack of a support system and I would rather not see the community mental health team.

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 29, 2019 at 01:30 AM #866 A big thank you for all who put up with my **** today and those whose offered hugs and words of support.

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 29, 2019 at 01:31 AM #867 I was supposed to go out to the sketching event but I took another valium instead they happen every week so I go next time

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,698 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Apr 29, 2019 at 01:51 AM #870 From GOT episode 3: "Perhaps the most heroic thing is to look truth in the face." "Everything you did brought you were you are now.Where you belong." __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." Last edited by Lemoncake; Apr 29, 2019 at 02:41 AM..

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Apr 29, 2019 at 03:05 AM #872 Four hours until this night shift is over. Nine more shifts to go and then I’ve got two weeks of vacation.

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Apr 29, 2019 at 06:25 AM #875 LT- You don’t seem to fall into the nutty parent category to me. As long as flushing sweaters down the toilet stay contained in your dreams...I think it’s okay.