Couch 194: The Floral Couch

Hugs. I lost track in your LT thread a few weeks ago. I don’t comment in there. But I do read it. I’ll have to go read the last few sessions.

I'm not well. I'm mentally and emotionally spiraling but making sure I take care of my daily responsibilities and trying to ignore it.

Hopefully this wed class will be a good distraction

Art, hope the surgery goes well and you have a smooth recovery.

My phone interview this morning turned into a meeting scheduled for Saturday. So that’s one tomorrow and one Saturday.

I can't seem to find us a place to live Luckily, the new owner is giving us a 14 day rent back. I'm just so sad. I have to say goodbye to my dream house.

What do hot flashes feel like? I’ve been off Lupron for two months and should be menstruating by now unless I’m in menopause. Going to schedule a hormone screen.

I’d call these more hot flushes than flashes.

It starts with three in a row, then I have two days off. Then five days in a row, then two days off, then two more shifts and I'm done.

I am jumping on the all therapists are arsehole wagons
Again your insurance companies confuse me. Why would they have to decide about a potentially life threatening condition? Are there certain things that are immediately covered? This must cause so much stress on top of being sick. Someone tell me cancer and heart surgery is something they don't mess about with.

Honestly I think an emoji should cover the 8 character limit

I totally agree!

Thanks everybody. She said if they get approval by tomorrow afternoon I could be in surgery on friday of this week. She said ideally she would wait until the shingles are gone but because my pain is so severe she suspects part of it is my appendix and wants to get it out. She specializes in appendectomies so doctors refer this mucocele thing to her when they run across it. It's kind of rare. Apparently they put the appendix in a bag before they remove it/take it out so nothing spreads.

I'll be off work 14 days for surgery/recovery and she said I'll likely have discomfort for a month or more. Oh goody. I called work and started an FMLA claim for the shingles and then once I know my date of surgery I have to call again to start a short term disability thing for the surgery/recovery time.

Oh yeah the surgeon also said there's no way to know what caused this but it could have been what brought on the shingles. She was very warm and caring, spent time to answer all of our questions, very reassuring and seems super knowledgable and gave me rx's for more Percocet and gabapentin too. I liked her a lot pretty immediately. A couple of times I sort of teared up asking my questions and she came over to me and squeezed my hand to comfort me which I really appreciated. I feel like I'll be in very good hands for the surgery and am not as worried as I had been.

BCM - I do think your guy is being a jerk as well. Even if he is burned out he could meet with you one last time for a final appointment.

Art - glad you liked the surgeon.

Jersey - sounds like you have many prospects.

I just don’t know what to think about t. I really appreciate t texting and apologizing for canceling. It tells me that he understands how upset it would make me for cancelling this appointment in particular considering my recent state of mind and the rupture. Yes, I plan on seeing him tomorrow if he is back at work. I really need to talk about the anger I have towards him and I need to hear him acknowledge his part in it and apologize and then talk about what lead to this whole blow up in my end. I don’t want to declare my t an asshole, but I do have to admit this weekend he did act like with is accusation of expecting too much.

I'm so sorry, Scarlet...

It could take awhile to start menstruating because that stuff really messes with your hormones. Are these flushes you are getting like a wave of heat throughout your entire body?

I'm so sorry, scarlet.

I think I had them a few times when I was pregnant. It was like I got really hot all of a sudden, was sweating (and I don't normally sweat much, even with exertion), even though it wasn't particularly warm where I was. You could be in perimenopause, which can apparently last up to 10 years. Thinking I'm in that now (at 42), as my cycles keep varying in length.

I was just thinking about T again (shocker) and how in one of the final sessions, amidst loads of tears he asked me "Is this harder for you or about the same as when your dog died?"
Without even a thought "Harder, so much harder"

I wish I had even a 3rd of the support I had when my dog passed, loads of people knew and loved him and knew what he meant to me, I had tons of people checking in and such. With this, very few people in my life know I even went to therapy. I sure have no interest in talking to the ones that I did about this, it's a loss that seems really weird to most people. They wouldn't understand.

I'm glad there is online folks I can talk to but there is something differently healing about sharing emotions in person, I wish I had that. Outside of therapy, I no longer do

Yeah, though wave feels like a strong term. I just start sweating with no reason to. It passes after a few minutes.


I haven’t had a cycle in 3 1/2 years because of the Lupron and nothing in the two months since going off it. So I don’t know. Menopause runs early in my family.

Anyway was supposed to see my gynecologist to check in at the end of April to see if I needed to go back on endometriosis treatment or should be tested for menopause. Just scheduled for tomorrow.