Wrench In My Therapy - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-19-2019, 04:27 PM #1
LunarUnicorn LunarUnicorn is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Murica
Posts: 5
LunarUnicorn LunarUnicorn is offline
New Member
LunarUnicorn Stressed
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Murica
Posts: 5

1 hugs
given
Confused Wrench In My Therapy

Hi everyone Iím new!!! pretty much my first time on any forum actually.

I was wondering if anyone had advice on what I should regarding issues Iím having with my therapist.

Iíve been seeing my therapist for about 5 years now. Heís helped me a lot with my symptoms and Id say our therapeutic relationship has been ok so far.
But lately a couple of things have thrown a wrench in the relationship. Overall I feel like heís just not as sensitive, patient, and humble as he was before. He wouldnít pressure me to go too fast and seemed to care about how I was feeling but it feels like heís floating away from me. Heís gotten kind of arrogant, he assumes he knows what Iím thinking and feeling all the time and heís usually wrong and when I say Iím not he acts confused and sort of this ďWhat do you mean your notĒ kind of attitude. He keeps sort of arguing with me during our sessions and giving his opinion on stuff which I feel isnít really appropriate? I know we agree politically but I donít really want to know that information even if we do agree. I told him I didnít feel comfortable arguing with him and he told me we werenít arguing. It makes me feel sort of lost and kind of like Iím losing my mind. I donít like feeling I canít trust myself.
A few things occurred that bothered me that involved my sexuality. Iím asexual and somehow my sexuality wasnít brought up until really recently. I sort of mentioned in passing that Iím not interested in anyone sexually and he kept insinuating that itís just another issue I have and itís probably from my trauma (none of it is sexual related at all) and he didnít think it was permanent. I feel hurt after that cause I was hoping heíd just openly accept it and not try to turn it into a problem since I didnít see it as one and Iím perfectly content being asexual. Ever since then Iíve had this fear in the back of my mind like what if he tries to fix me or something and Iíve had nightmares about him assaulting me to ďcureĒ me. I donít think heíd actually do any of that but I feel really anxious in therapy. Our sessions feel really tense now and I donít talk as much. We had another discussion about my sexuality (unfortunately ) and he at least said ďwe donít have to make it pathologicalĒ which made me feel a little better but everytime we talk about it itís like nails on a chalkboard.
Iím a senior in high school and Iím already really sad Iím losing all my friends and teachers and probably wonít talk to a lot of them again. I donít have a good relationship with my parents so I feel like Iím losing everything. I thought my therapist could be the one person that would help me through this transition but things havenít been going great.
I feel trapped in my therapy relationship cause I donít want to be completely alone but I donít know if I should continue with this therapist if theyíre not a fit for me anymore. I guess if I wasnít making a rough transition Iíd try to find a therapist who was more well versed in LGBTQ+ issues but even then a lot of them still donít know about asexuality. Please help I donít know what to do Iím so stressed and sad about this happening and I donít want to feel like I have no support or help anymore. I just wish I could go back to when I first started seeing him.
LunarUnicorn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 04-20-2019, 01:54 AM #2
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,806
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is online now
Grand Poohbah
Echos Myron redux is tired
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,806 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
1,615 hugs
given
Default Re: Wrench In My Therapy

Hi, welcome to PC.

I would find what you describe very difficult, particularly his rather stark change in attitude since you started seeing him. For me, that change would stir feelings of the inconsistent parenting I received as a child, and I would find it destabilising.

I hear that you've tried to talk to him about being uncomfortable with the arguing, and his response was "we're not arguing". To me, he is invalidating your experience here which is unhelpful and not therapeutic. If you feel that you are arguing, what he thinks about it isn't massively relevant imo.

If I were you, I would tell him how you feel his attitude has changed since you started seeing him. You are paying for a service, and part of his job is to reflect on the feedback you give him. If he continues to deny your experience, I would personally see that as a red flag and move on. To be honest, the fact that you feel like you are losing your mind as a result of his denying your reality sounds a lot like gaslighting is happening, and if he doesn't realise what he is doing and change it immediately, I think leaving is important for your wellbeing. Gaslighting is an abusive behaviour, whether he is aware he is doing it or not.

If you think a therapist who better understands your asexuality would be better for you, I think it would be good to search for someone who can meet those needs.

Good luck, I hope you can find what you need from therapy.
Echos Myron redux is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:42 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.