Anyone feel like their T idealizes them? - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-20-2019, 09:21 PM #1
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Default Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

I know itís usually the other way around (the client idealizing the T), but do any of you feel like your T actually idealizes you? I feel like mine kind of does this with me, but I donít know if thatís normal. Or if Iím perceiving things correctly. What do people think?
For what itís worth, I do tend to idealize my T, also.
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Old 04-20-2019, 09:29 PM #2
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

It probably can feel that way to some clients but it's probably not likely. I don't think too often they put too much stake in one specific client. However I suppose it's possible. You could always ask but Idk how honest they would be about it. The therapeutic relationship can be very confusing for sure
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Old 04-20-2019, 09:33 PM #3
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

I don't think my T idealizes me. I doubt she thinks of me at all out of session.....
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Old 04-20-2019, 10:01 PM #4
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

I don't understand what idealizing a client has to do with playing favorites or thinking about the client outside of session.


The therapist certainly doesn't idealize me. I do think the previous one idealized C a bit, though.
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Old 04-20-2019, 11:02 PM #5
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

Adolized? I doubt it. I so not T was very impressed with aspects of my life but I doubt she idolized it. There were things about my husbands and my relationship that was contrary to much of what is recommended. Once I told her it worked for us (our communication style, being overly protective, etc) she told me she had never been able to her a relationship to last 3 years and hubby and I had been together over 20 years so who was she to say it was wrong. She also was very amazed by the nature of my friendships and that I enjoyed and frequently has large groups of people at our home for parties, bbqs etc.
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Old 04-21-2019, 12:17 AM #6
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

I sometimes feel like that about his refusal to believe that I'm actually a bad worthless person, etc., but rationally I don't think he idealizes me.

The last T I saw long term definitely did, but that whole thing was a countertransference **** show. I didn't idealize her as in think she was perfect or better than other people, but I also didn't let myself acknowledge how unethical her conduct was and hold her responsible for that. Like she had good intentions and cared about me so I couldn't blame her. Even though it was her job to know better.
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Old 04-21-2019, 12:24 AM #7
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

Sometimes my Ts perception of me, my accomplishments, etc sounds foreign to me. She speaks very highly of me frequently. I haven't considered this to be idealizing, but a lot of the time, it's just not hope I see myself. Maybe someone else recognizing positive things about you feels like idealizing, but it's really just an accurate perception of you that you might not realize yet?
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Old 04-21-2019, 04:21 AM #8
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

My T has the ability to see the best in me. For example in a situation where I thought I failed, she often sees a lot of positives in my way of doing things - which often brings more good in me and makes me see and feel more good things about myself and me in my life.

But no, she doesn't idealize me, but she is on my side and lets it show, and I appreciate the good she sees in me.
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Old 04-21-2019, 05:46 AM #9
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

My T gives me unconditional positive regard which really comes off as idealizing at times. So on the face of it I often feel like she idealizes me, but I "get" that she is just being therapisty. I bet she doesn't really think that way about me!
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Old 04-21-2019, 06:46 AM #10
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Default Re: Anyone feel like their T idealizes them?

Ha, ha! No.
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