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Lemoncake
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:18 AM
  #821
In my grown up head at the moment. It's so strange not feeling the usual pangs of neediness.

So see you tomorrow.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:55 AM
  #822
Possible trigger:


I hate myself. I'm seeing you tomorrow, how to tell you? Will you hate me? I'm so sad and ashamed
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 06:17 AM
  #823
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Originally Posted by captgut View Post
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I hate myself. I'm seeing you tomorrow, how to tell you? Will you hate me? I'm so sad and ashamed

Hugs, capt... you don't have to answer him.
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 09:33 AM
  #824
I am glad that I'm seeing you tomorrow. I really want to hear more about that ego stuff you were talking about last week.
 
 
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Lemoncake
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 09:43 AM
  #825
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Originally Posted by captgut View Post
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I hate myself. I'm seeing you tomorrow, how to tell you? Will you hate me? I'm so sad and ashamed


The main thing my T taught me was that you don't have to be nice to anybody.That it's okay to put yourself and your needs first and this applies to you too. You don't have have to answer his messages if you don't want to. Block him and don't think twice about it.

But I would also suggest seeking out emergency contraception and visiting a sexual health clinic to get tested, but it usually takes around 2 weeks for anything to initially show up.

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Lemoncake
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 09:46 AM
  #826
I kinda wish you'd reply to Monday's email already to confirm tomorrow's morning session. But ho hum I know you'll turn up anyway.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 10:17 AM
  #827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post


The main thing my T taught me was that you don't have to be nice to anybody.That it's okay to put yourself and your needs first and this applies to you too. You don't have have to answer his messages if you don't want to. Block him and don't think twice about it.

But I would also suggest seeking out emergency contraception and visiting a sexual health clinic to get tested, but it usually takes around 2 weeks for anything to initially show up.

Agreed on all counts. Re: health clinic and emergency contraception (I think you can take that a couple days after). They can also give high-dose antibiotics by injection that could prevent certain STIs from developing (like chlamydia or gonnorhea). I know you're in a different country, but where I am, you can just get the contraception from a pharmacy without a prescription.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 10:55 AM
  #828
@captgut, you don't have to answer this guy. You can block him. Screw him. I'm sorry this happened to you. Is there a sexual assault crisis line that you can call to get some more information to protect your health and get some support?
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 12:31 PM
  #829
Never mind the previous emails. You’re obviously too busy to reply back.

I don’t want any more therapy and I’m not going to stop acting out either.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 01:28 PM
  #830
Last night was productive. We dug pretty deep, I felt safe and stayed present, I cried and you I am pretty sure cried a bit. I felt so comfortable and supported that I even asked YOU for a hug instead of the other way around. The only people I ask for a hug are my best friend and my husband and children. It was HUGE since the topic we were discussing is directly related to my abandonment issues. Usually I push away or at least feel horrible I certainly never would have asked for a hug. Today I am feeling very emotional and cant stop these horrible thoughts and memories. I tried to text this morning and haven't heard back. I hate that the nature of our relationship is just 1 hour a week. I know you care but this feeling alone sucks.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 02:34 PM
  #831
I miss you damit. Come back from holiday! Wednesdays suck without you
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 03:51 PM
  #832
Feeling really fragile at the moment, on the verge of losing my words.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:34 PM
  #833
You know what? You f*** with my head. F*** you.
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 05:03 PM
  #834
The answer to that question you asked me last summer I think it was? Is, yes. Apparently so.
 
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 07:58 PM
  #835
Looking forward to tomorrow.
 
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 08:32 PM
  #836
Why is it I can go from feeling optimistic at one moment to feeling so pathetic and horrible less than 24 hours later. Thanks a lot.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 09:15 PM
  #837
My t seems totally different. I just can't stop pushing people away. I have NO hope and I want to have no hope. I don't want to wish for a better future only to never get it. I t has to be me, I am the common denominator that makes relationships go sour. OR makes people hate me. This time, I am devastated, my T is acting different. I don't know if I just need to leave everyone alone. Maybe I deserve this, maybe I don't. I think everybody should leave me along so they don't get the negative curse I have on me. . .

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 09:31 PM
  #838
Thank you for being more clear and direct today about the dropping our Friday session. It's comforting to know that it's only temporary until the fall and that you want to go back up to 5 days at that time if I still want to at that time. It made me feel like you haven't given up on me.
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Lemoncake
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 01:08 AM
  #839
Despite the email if you do call me. I will pick up.

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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 02:24 AM
  #840
I don't know if bother reading my texts anymore but the one I sent today has me feeling a lot better. I have a sneaky suspicion you do read them just in case I say something about sui and you might need to cover yourself
 
 
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