Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

LabRat27 · Jun 24, 2019 at 12:58 AM

Well it took 48 hours but I've finally managed to turn this into anger at you. Kind of.

Possible trigger:

also into invalidating my own feelings and wanting to hurt myself because of it.
But I think that might still be part of the anger at you.
I want to hurt myself so that you'll feel bad. So you can see that you were trusted with something fragile and hurt me and it really really hurt.

Jun 24, 2019 at 03:10 AM

I really miss you, I miss talking to you and your calming presence. Can I come back one day?

captgut · Jun 24, 2019 at 08:39 AM

I'm so alone

Possible trigger:

and I'm going to sh

Lemoncake · Jun 24, 2019 at 09:07 AM

Please email me back already.

04:43 PM

..............

04:43 PM

........

06:49 PM

Ready for Thursday, L.

chihirochild · Jun 24, 2019 at 06:06 PM

Dear T,

I'm starting to feel not so great, and I think it's because of this stupid thing that happened at the work party that's got my nose all bent out of joint. I'm embarrassed that I care this much about it. I'm not sure if I can tell you. I think it'll confirm your suspicions that I have NPD.

-c

SheHulk07 · Jun 24, 2019 at 08:12 PM

Can you make this decision for me or at least help me figure it out. I don't think it's necessary at this point but I think you disagree. I feel like if I don't tell you if I SH then you'll drop the hospital talk. I want a plan. I want to talk it through. I dont like these "Have you thought about our discussion?

Elio · Jun 24, 2019 at 08:26 PM

I don't want to keep doing this. We're ok. It's just too hard.

velcro003 · Jun 24, 2019 at 09:13 PM

what can I talk about tomorrow besides all my anxiety? It isn't helping to talk about it, I just don't know what else to bring up.

Jun 24, 2019 at 11:19 PM

Aaand I am back to hating you

Lemoncake · Jun 25, 2019 at 10:28 AM

Maybe I am expecting too much.

susannahsays · Jun 25, 2019 at 11:17 AM

Wait until you hear my news. I don't think you'll be happy.

LostOnTheTrail · Jun 25, 2019 at 11:21 AM

Difficult couple of days. I'm doing my best, but that doesn't seem to be enough. Hoping to have the guts to tell you about it on Thursday.

LabRat27 · Jun 25, 2019 at 12:52 PM

Today is probably going to be rough. I'm actually going to be bringing in writing about "the T word."
I realized I don't think I'd actually be able to call it that out loud in your office. Maybe in a mocking tone or something, but not seriously. I've gotten used to mentally referring to it as "less than ideal childhood circumstances" or euphemisms like that. "Things that happened when I was a child that were probably not good"

LonesomeTonight · Jun 25, 2019 at 01:29 PM

Dear T,
I was fine during session, but started tearing up a bit right after I walked out your door. I know it's from talking about stuff from your vacation. Hope I can hold it together OK Friday and am not a sobbing mess when I leave. At least I have backup T scheduled.

And I appreciate that you understand why I wanted to see backup T even though I'm not in a crisis.

Love,

LT

Jun 25, 2019 at 06:00 PM

So ok. L. If it's not about blame, then what IS it about? Why'd you even SAY that stuff? And why the freak don't I ever think of questions like this at the moment that you say the things I later question?! I'm struggling here to not think I should have stayed away.

Jun 25, 2019 at 07:09 PM

... struggling to not think I should have stayed away, and at the same moment, wishing I was sitting there with you right now.

Jun 25, 2019 at 07:20 PM

I really miss you today and I am back to panicking when you aren't at your rooms it got better for a while but now I am back with the urge to drive around town looking for you.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

My Support Forums

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 24, 2019 at 03:10 AM #882 I really miss you, I miss talking to you and your calming presence. Can I come back one day?

captgut Grand Poohbah Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Here Posts: 1,731 7 1,505 hugs given	Jun 24, 2019 at 08:39 AM #883 I'm so alone Possible trigger: and I'm going to sh

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jun 24, 2019 at 09:07 AM #884 Please email me back already. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 24, 2019 at 02:12 PM #885 .............. Last edited by Anonymous43207; Jun 24, 2019 at 04:43 PM..

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 24, 2019 at 04:28 PM #886 ........ Last edited by Anonymous43207; Jun 24, 2019 at 04:43 PM..

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 24, 2019 at 05:48 PM #887 Ready for Thursday, L. Last edited by Anonymous43207; Jun 24, 2019 at 06:49 PM..

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jun 24, 2019 at 06:06 PM #888 Dear T, I'm starting to feel not so great, and I think it's because of this stupid thing that happened at the work party that's got my nose all bent out of joint. I'm embarrassed that I care this much about it. I'm not sure if I can tell you. I think it'll confirm your suspicions that I have NPD. -c

SheHulk07 Magnate Member Since Oct 2013 Location: CO Posts: 2,305 10 871 hugs given	Jun 24, 2019 at 08:12 PM #889 Can you make this decision for me or at least help me figure it out. I don't think it's necessary at this point but I think you disagree. I feel like if I don't tell you if I SH then you'll drop the hospital talk. I want a plan. I want to talk it through. I dont like these "Have you thought about our discussion?

Elio ............... Member Since Sep 2006 Location: in my head Posts: 2,911 17 8,779 hugs given	Jun 24, 2019 at 08:26 PM #890 I don't want to keep doing this. We're ok. It's just too hard.

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jun 24, 2019 at 09:13 PM #891 what can I talk about tomorrow besides all my anxiety? It isn't helping to talk about it, I just don't know what else to bring up.

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 24, 2019 at 11:19 PM #892 Aaand I am back to hating you

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jun 25, 2019 at 10:28 AM #893 Maybe I am expecting too much. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Jun 25, 2019 at 11:17 AM #894 Wait until you hear my news. I don't think you'll be happy. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 25, 2019 at 06:00 PM #898 So ok. L. If it's not about blame, then what IS it about? Why'd you even SAY that stuff? And why the freak don't I ever think of questions like this at the moment that you say the things I later question?! I'm struggling here to not think I should have stayed away.

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 25, 2019 at 07:09 PM #899 ... struggling to not think I should have stayed away, and at the same moment, wishing I was sitting there with you right now.

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 25, 2019 at 07:20 PM #900 I really miss you today and I am back to panicking when you aren't at your rooms it got better for a while but now I am back with the urge to drive around town looking for you.