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#21
I am not finished. i am not finished.
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LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#22
T thank you for trying everything I had the courage to ask for. Thank you for having the courage to bring up and option that might scare me... I LOVE the idea of the part you thought would scare me, feeling kinda eh on the rest of it. Thank you for knowing it isn’t you and believing me when I say I am safe with you... as safe as I have ever felt anyway. Thank you for holding my hand even if you did make me ask.
Most of all thank you for seeing the pain when I talked about the emails. Thank you for not judging and letting me know they have value to our work... but most of all thank you for seeing, and not saying anything, about the pain. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,765
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#23
Dear T,
I felt cared for by you today. Maybe even...loved? Just the way you were talking and looking at me when talking about how you didn't want finances to dictate my therapy...that you wouldn't want me to feel I had to stop seeing you twice weekly before I was ready. Like if I felt I had to stop after 6 months (when I'd only meant 3 by "a few"), that you were concerned about how that could affect me...and that's all apparently more important than some money to you. I mean, obviously you wouldn't see me for nothing. But maybe in some way this is what I needed to really have it click how much you care. That you will still treat me the same even if I'm putting a bit less money on my credit card. And that I need to just accept that you say it's OK. Love, LT |
LabRat27, SlumberKitty
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DP_2017, LabRat27
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
6 962 hugs
given |
#24
Hey, I miss you.
And I need your help again... Help me be my best self tomorrow, please? Help me do a good job. I've been afraid that the only reason I did well previously was because of you. I'm afraid that without you I'm just a failure. Please, PLEASE show me that I can do this on my own. I love you. Don't think I've forgotten you. I haven't. |
LabRat27, nottrustin, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given |
#25
I am really struggling today. Wish so bad you could talk to me, say something so dumb you know I'd laugh at or I'd be happy with a hug.
I'm feeling hopeless but hopefully one of the other T's can help me fix my life, in case I ever see you again, so I can be better. Miss you, every single day __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given |
#26
t3, I hope you wont be annoyed with me if I try to get in tomorrow and I hope you can help me, this pain is too much and honestly...I'm so tired of "T shopping"
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
given |
#27
I wrote something you'll be happy about. The kind of stuff you try to get me to write. It made me feel a little bit better I guess. But I wasn't having those thoughts when I wrote it, and later when I'm having those thoughts I'm certainly not going to read it.
Don't get too excited. I have really really conflicting feelings about when you seem happy and proud because of something like this. I don't want you think I'm better and stop being so gentle with me. Edit: I also did some stuff you won't be happy about. I have conflicting feelings about your reaction to that too. Last edited by LabRat27; Apr 22, 2019 at 11:22 PM.. |
Anonymous42961, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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DP_2017
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#28
**** you!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
Anonymous42961, SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,798
12 3,131 hugs
given |
#29
Hearing from you today would help alleviate some of the relentless suck. Please help.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
Anonymous42961, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#30
Possible trigger:
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#31
1 day, 20 hours, 26 minutes and 28 seconds ....
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
chihirochild, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, OrangeUmbrella, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#32
T, is this all my fault? Did I somehow manufacture this?
Possible trigger:
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ElectricManatee, LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: US
Posts: 66
6 |
#33
an emoji? seriously?!?! 🙄
__________________ Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#34
90 minutes. I already know the outcome, but I’m hoping you’ll prove me wrong.
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
7 567 hugs
given |
#35
T, I’m guessing your non answer is an answer. I already knew, but I was hoping against hope that I was wrong. And what a day for you to disappear on me. I guess things are going south, huh. Unless maybe you think you sent me an email back but somehow it didn’t send? That has happened before. I guess I’m still holding onto hope... because if you just didn’t answer that email, especially today, that would be really telling...
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#36
So L, you greatly intrigued me with your mention in Feb of doing more shadow work so I have bought a book about it by Robert Johnson I'm going to work through. you.
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SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#37
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
LabRat27, LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#38
Dear Former T: I really wish you would email me back. I know you don't have to. You're not my T anymore. I just want to hear from you. I want to hear you. I want you back. Why did you get sick? Are you not writing me because you are sick atm? Are you okay? Why do you still dominate so much of my thoughts? HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, nottrustin
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#39
Dear T: I wish you were former T. Why didn't we talk about SUI on Saturday? We danced around it. We talked around it. It didn't get brought up specifically. And I have a hard time bringing it up. When I talked about dying, why didn't you ask? Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#40
You totally came through for me. I’m so happy.
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goatee, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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