Do you talk about religion in therapy?

As many of you know, my T is also a Catholic priest. He teaches at the Catholic university that I go to, and I grew up Catholic. When I moved here 16 years ago he was also in a parish and I met him at church.

I've always made it a point though not to talk about religion with him. He says mass on campus once a week and I go, but that's about it. I just feel like religion is separate from therapy and I should keep them separate.

The new psychologist I'm seeing this summer while regular T is away works out of a Christian agency. When I met with him for the first time, at the end he asked if he could pray for me. I said yes, thinking he'd go home and say his bedtime prayers and toss my name in there. But nope. He started praying over me right then and there. It felt weird, but I figured for $200 an hour I'd take all the help I can get.

But...I've been struggling with my faith a lot lately and I know regular T (well both actually) believes very strongly in the integration of faith and psychology - that the two cannot be separated. So, I asked him if when he comes back in September if we can do some work around spirituality and faith.

Is that weird? Does anyone else have a Christian counsellor that they talk God with? I told him I'm actually really uncomfortable talking about religion with him, but since it's such a huge part of who I am, I don't see how I can leave it out anymore...

I have discussed religion in my therapy. Religion is important to my FOO, and I have some conflicting feelings about it. I haven't talked a lot about it because it's just not a priority.

I asked once if my T celebrates Christmas, and she said yes. I don't know if she's religious, and honestly I wouldn't see a T who was overt/loud in their religious beliefs. My T has felt "safe" to talk to because of the non-judgemental approach she has. If she started talking about her religious beliefs I would feel judged even if that was not her intent.

No. I am an atheist. I am not anti-religion, but the topic is irrelevant to me and my therapy. I suppose I would talk about it otherwise, although I understand why it might feel uncomfortable.

No. I do not follow any religion, don't believe in any god(s) and it had no bearing on why I hired a therapist. I would not have hired a religious therapist. I mean they can follow whatever religion they want if they do want one -but not one who advertised as such or did any religious things at an appointment I was at.

My second therapist was a minister in my church and a licensed pastoral counselor. Oddly enough, I don't think I ever discussed matters of faith with him during sessions . . . not even once. It was probably because he and I are both life-long Lutherans (and members of families that have been Lutheran for generations -- probably centuries actually), so there was a natural understanding between us about our faith so discussion wasn't really necessary. At the time I was active in the church where he was one of the pastors, and my faith life was not an issue.

My last therapist was actually the one I discussed faith matters with the most, and he, while Christian, is not particularly active in his faith. I don't think he is a member of a congregation or attends church with any regularity. However, he was working with me during a terribly low time in my life where I had disconnected myself from my church life. It became apparent that had left a hole in my life and I was very much grieving that loss (and some other major losses in my life), and we started discussing that hole. It was with his encouragement that I eventually found the courage to return to my active life in my church, allowing me to reconnect with a support system that I had isolated myself from.

I would not have been comfortable AT ALL with what your therapist did, but that is because that kind of praying over people is unusual in Lutheran tradition; it tends to be saved for times of severe illness, etc. (Lutherans are rather private in our prayer life generally except for communal, liturgical prayer during services, before meals, etc.) I probably would have never returned to a therapist that did that. I could have been fine if it was a Lutheran minister who understood my faith beliefs, but I would have found it threatening if it came, for instance, from a very fundamentalist minister. It would have seemed presumptuous and aggressive to me.

But if you were comfortable and felt right about it, that is good. I find it interesting that you would feel uncomfortable talking to your therapist, who is a priest in your faith, about your faith. For me, I would be most comfortable discussing my faith with a Lutheran minister because we wouldn't be speaking from different places of doctrine. I had those kinds of discussions with my Lutheran therapist/minister, but, now that I think about it, those discussions occurred as parts of small groups generally, never as part of my therapy (again, it just wasn't a topic of issue within my therapy at the time).

I think I wouldn't want to know if my T's views on faith/spirituality differed significantly from mine. It would create a feeling of disconnect and I would probably resent it a little to be completely honest.
It's a bit different because it's the absence of any real faith/spirituality, and the fact that I don't have those things doesn't play a role in my life the way that they would if I had them.
While it's worth discussing if it's an important part of your life and your values, if it were me I would want to have a discussion about boundaries and potential ramifications beforehand, because once a self-disclosure happens it can't really be undone. For example, would I want to know if my T had completely different views on the idea that "everything happens for a reason?" Would I be comfortable with my T attempting to change my beliefs, or would that feel like he was not being respectful of my beliefs? Those are the kind of things I'd want to establish first.

Yes.

One of the issues I faced...face...is the interweaving of deep faith and religious teaching and abuse and loss of faith and spirituality. That intersection has been an uncomfortable sometimes painful place to stand and a critical exploration as a part of my recovery.

I did and do not want religious/spiritual counsel. Being able to have those discussions with someone who shares my faith offers a depth of understanding from her about the issues I’ve wrestled with and a place to explore my own thoughts and feelings and faith, which has been an ongoing thread throughout my time in therapy.

My FOO was very religious and so it has always been a huge part of my life (though not always in a healthy way... but thats a whole different story). Anyway, a few years ago something happened and I lost my faith and it was painful and I struggled with it so T and I discussed it several times. It was helpful in the way that I can now sit in church without sobbing uncontrollably but as for my faith... well, I think that is now a lost cause. T was great during the discussion though, not pushing his beliefs on me and even offered to put me in contact with a pastor (because the one at our church is horrible) if I wanted someone else to talk to about it. So yes, I have talked to T about it and he said that it is something that happens often.

In my first appointment I with Emdr T I mentioned being Catholic and my faith and faith community are a huge part of who I am. She told me she doesnt ususlly disclose her religion to clients but since I brought it up she told me she is also an active Catholic. One day I asked if she felt comfortable discussing religion as part of my therapy. She was. We discuss how some of my issues relate to my faith. Such as forgiveness. What does it mean in God's eyes? She recommended I try yoga for therapeutic reasons; we discussed briefly the Catholic teachings on yoga and she mentioned I should talk to my priest. Things like that. It is not something we talk about all the time nor an entire session but it is pretty frequent.

If you want to discuss your religion ss part of your therapy I think you should bring it up. I dont think it is odd

No, I am not religious so it is irrelevant subject for me.

I only talk about religion in terms of how religious people have harmed me in the past and how religious influences on the political system still harm me (and others) today. I wouldn't care if my T was religious or believed in god, but there are certain beliefs and branches of religions that would make me doubt her judgment and humanity, which would absolutely be a problem.

T is Christian and I am Christian but VERY open minded... to the point some argue I am not Christian. T is VERY cautious to bring up anything religious although he does bring spirituality into sessions a lot. Any other Tvthat brought faith into sessions bothered me a great deal as they often assumed that because we were both Christians we both had the same exact beliefs or they would get preachy. Honestly though, with Awesomr T I wish he would bring religion in a little bit more. I think he worries because he is of one of the Protestant denominations and he perceives me as Catholic (which is fair... my college Chaplin once said “it says a lot when your best Catholic is a card carrying Methodist”) ahh... love Fr... anyway... I think that is what scares T away. Although when he found out my grandfather was Muslim he was shocked and we have not gotten back to that yet.

Do long reply short... most T’s talking religion piss me off... but zi would be OK with Awesome T talking more about it.

For now this thread can remain open if the discussion continues to be about how religion affects therapy. As soon as it starts talking specifics about religion it will be closed because the Community guidelines say to avoid topics of religion. It's a fine line. Try to stay well to one side of it so the thread can remain open.

Yes. We discuss it in just about every session because it’s very important to me and because I’m attempting to integrate it in an attempt to manage my SH impulses.

Religion definitely comes up for me in therapy, and gets discussed, but I never would have chosen a therapist who works from a specifically religious perspective. It just wouldn't work for me. But if it feels useful to you to integrate them, I suppose it makes sense to give it a try. I could imagine it being especially tricky with the element of religious authority involved with the therapist being clergy, though.

My therapist and I come from different minority religious backgrounds, which I do think is helpful in some ways. Being a non-Christian in a society that's dominated by Christianity is something he can relate to, and I appreciate that. I do sometimes have to spend time explaining things about my religion that he's not familiar with, and occasionally the amount of time that takes up frustrates me. But it would also be differently difficult if my therapist had the same religious upbringing as me and had his own preconceptions about what certain things mean.

This is really helpful, guys. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

One would never know T is a priest unless you actually knew him or went to mass on campus. He is the least preachy-judgy person you'll ever meet. He has pride flags on his office door saying it's a safe space. He's very open minded and very much not swayed by what the church says he SHOULD or MUST think or say. He drops f-bombs as often as I do (well, I might drop more). I find his laid-back approach helpful. I struggle with my sexuality and he's never once tried to sway me one way or the other. He's always affirmed wherever I've been at with it.

He's definitely not your typical image of a priest, or what I was familiar growing up with. At first it bothered me, but now it's immensely helpful as I try to explore integrating my faith back into who I am as a person and I think I can draw on that particular strength and use it to my benefit.

I personally have misgivings about seeing a spiritual counselor for therapy - especially a cleric lacking their own real life experience in the world. To me it is rather like seeking out a cat trainer to train your dog. It is like seeing a gynecologist for a gambling problem.

Religion has no place in therapy. One should be discussing thoughts and behaviour with respect to what is considered appropriate by society not religious dogma. I really have a problem with this. Expressing spirituality is one thing but framing a session according to the guises of the rules and dictates of a religion is highly questionable to me. I think you really need to ask yourself whether this person is telling you things - like how you ought to think - according to the religion or according to what is real world appropriate.

Brought me a smile. Reminds me of my Fr... who never really did therapy with my but definately started me on my journey.

My T does not advertise being Catholic in any way. She told me it is because she specializes and enjoys working with certain populations that would never see her I'd they knew she was Catholic. People would assume since she iz Catholic she would judge those groups of people. In fact. Though she is the least judgmental person I know. She truly accepts people for who they are. She knows I am the same way.

My beliefs have only become part of my therapy because I bring it up. We have actually taught each other quite. Not about our faith.

I have also discussed my therapy with my priest. We if after talking to T about something, I still have questions in regard to my religion. I meat with priest to get his input.

I’m not sure if you read my post or if I’m misunderstanding yours.

We have never talked about religion in therapy. He has no agenda. He has never pushed religion on me. I’M reaching out to HIM for help with this. He’s never told me what or how to think. He’s never framed a session according to anything except what I wanted to talk about.

And why would you think he has no real world experience? He has three undergrad degrees, a Masters, and a PhD. He holds a full time faculty position, teaches at a second university, says mass, does workshops on the community, has a private practice, owns a car, pays rent on his house, had a pet until it passed a few months ago, has traveled the world. He has as much real world experience as anyone else.