Is your therapist married to a therapist?

I made no comment on the desirability of marriage regardless of longevity in any fashion. I don't care whether anyone is married or divorced.
Just giving the study information and link to an article.

Yes, I, however, like to find meaning in things Thanks for the links. I haven’t had time to read them in detail yet - just read your brief synopsis.

It was not my synopsis - I gave the link to the quote.

Right. I was referring to the abstracts/summaries you provided with the links.

I am not surprised that therapists have a higher divorce rate. While I do think many get into the profession due to their own issues, I also think the profession itself likely puts stress on a marriage. Listening to people and "connecting" with them all day is exhausting even for the most social of individuals. I have read comments on the psychotherapy sub from many therapists expressing how they just want quiet time when they get home. I imagine this would be even harder for therapists who are introverts. I personally enjoy plenty of alone time as an introvert, and if I were a therapist, I would be too emotionally spent after work to connect with a partner. I also wonder how many of them have trouble not slipping into therapist speak sometimes in their personal lives where it is not appropriate. If my partner were a therapist and they said something to me using therapist phrasing or lingo, I would likely find it condescending. There is also the issue of jealousy to consider. I think it is quite likely that some partners of therapists find the fact that their partner spends so much time listening to others' secrets and being exposed to their private emotions rather... I'm not sure what the word I'm looking for is. But I do think there could be some jealousy, especially if the therapist partner isn't very emotionally available due to being burned out from work.

Really good points; thanks for posting this. I think the point about "quiet time" is especially true. My GYN is a gay man who says funny things about how often straight GYN men talk about their intimacy issues, something along the lines of "I just want to go home and not think/see another ___."

Ex-T was married to a therapist, and they used to work in the same practice together, but he retired before I started seeing her. I sometimes wondered what it was like being their kids. Ex-MC's late wife was not a therapist (kindergarten teacher, I think) and current T is not married to a therapist (I don't know what she does, but he said at one point that he's reluctant to share stories of his workday with her because she's not a therapist and wouldn't understand in the way that a colleague would).

Nope. I found out by accident her spouse's occupation, but I know prior it wasn't a therapist.

I am curious about whether or not it was him (or really his wife) that I saw many years ago, but not sure that’s really relevant to my current therapy. I just kind of want to know. Also, bringing this up would mean I’d have to admit that I know that his wife is a therapist. He’s never shared this with me and although I discovered this honestly while researching therapists before I met him, I have googled her since then and I feel a little guilty about that.

To be honest with you and I hope not unkind, try to have a little more courage. Bringing up topics a bit out of your comfort zone is part of what you're supposed to do in therapy. So what if you've googled? It's not a crime or an invasion.

He already knows I’ve googled him. We’ve had that conversation and he was totally fine with it but I was uncomfortable, so not dying to go there again. You are right though, I shouldn’t worry so much. It can’t hurt to bring it up.

My T's wife is a T as well, they're both psychiatrists. They even share their office, they work on different days though.
I've seen his wife once, she had an emergency shift during one my crisis. At the time she said she didn't have any openings but 'somebody she knows' did and gave me his number. He was pretty straight forward about the fact that they are married though. Sometimes I feel it's a bit weird that they are both Ts, but then I think about the fact that my partner and I share the same job and office as well...

I'd talk to your T about it if you're thinking about this a lot or are wondering, if you feel like it.

I think satisfying your curiosity about whether your experience could have possibly been with him is worth raising the issue. You don't have to reveal that you know his wife is a therapist, or how you know that, or that you've googled her since then. In your shoes, I think I would feel distrustful somewhere in the back of my mind when thinking it was a possibility that he could have done this years ago. I would think he would want to attone for it if he had, or he might want to acknowledge that whoever did that, screwed up. An experience like that as a child would shake my trust in the profession in general.

Yes, but I don't really know anything about him, other than T briefly mentioning having gone to couples therapy with him and giving that T a run for their money.

My T isn't married, but his very long term partner is a movement /dance therapist.

My T is married to a pediatric psychiatrist. They work at the same clinic. It's not a secret - she took his last name, so there's two Dr. <lastname> at the clinic.

My pdoc (at the same clinic) is married, but I don't know what her husband does. Sounds like he's a bit of a geek though - if I tell her about something I'm doing or a movie I want to see or something, she'll often say he's doing that, bought tickets weeks ago, etc.

I don't know anything about my previous Ts' spouses. The T I saw directly before this was gay (part of why I saw her was because I wanted a queer T) Other Ts didn't say anything about their spouses, if they had them.

My T friend (psychologist, psychoanalytic type) has a son the same age as mine. He's a sweet kid, but the most maladjusted kid I've ever met.

You have brought up memories of my childhood next door neighbours, both of which were psychologists. This is totally unrelated to the discussion but it was the first thing I thought of. They had the worst kids ever; rather a case of the cobblers kids going barefoot if you catch my drift.

Old t's husband worked in IT. New t's wife is a speech therapist.

No and no. Former T's wife did office work; current T's husband is a retired professor. Former T and his wife married young and have been together over 60 years, but they are of the WWII generation when marrying young wasn't uncommon. Current T, I think, met her husband when she was a graduate student and he was a professor; became 2nd wife, and they've been together for over 40 yrs. Their kids seem very well-adjusted and successful. Former T's kids much the same, though I know his son had difficulties with motivation and under achievement in college, but eventually became credentialed and had a successful career.


Both Ts have grand kids, and former T has great grand kids.

I think divorce rates are also higher in the medical field--and I think rates of addiction are higher in the medical field than other professions. And I think I remember reading that psychiatrists, in particular, have one of the highest rates of suicide. So the pressure that susannasays posted about seems to be a factor.


Lrad, although I think your experience of the first T must have been very hurtful, I'm not sure the T did anything wrong. A male T who sees clients out of his home would be reckless to see teenage female clients. I don't know much about malpractice insurance, but I'd be surprised if an insurer would even cover such a practice. So if it was your T after all, maybe you can believe it had nothing to do with you personally, nor reflects badly on your T.