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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
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#21
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
6 372 hugs
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#22
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#23
Yeah, they're not supposed to talk about it in technical terms to clients. I just went through everything you are going through so it's fresh in my mind....During my therapy, its been enormously helpful in making these kind of conclusions since this therapy is so incredibly intense.
Wondering now-was your superego part of your emails or not? If your emails were raw, perhaps not. I love reading your posts. It's amazing how it all unfolds for the first time. Your therapy is such a good one, similar to the best years of my own. |
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#24
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My T worked similarly. I went through almost the exact same cancellation phase. Except for me, it was as if the person canceling was a separate person from me. I remember cancelling and uncancelling. No drama or real distress, just the actions. I really never figured out what it was, what it even meant, then one day, it stopped happening. I think my Ts consistency helped. And the freedom to just be me enhanced my sense of automony, which also decreased my dependence on T. |
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LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
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#25
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For whatever reason, I have felt very little desire to email him for about the past 4 weeks or so. Whenever I try to bring that up with my T, sort of telling him how great it is that I’m no longer emailing, his response is that he doesn’t see it that way and my emails are always welcome. So, go figure. |
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#26
Yeah, go figure! I don't know what to think of that.
Except that raw part is a repressed part of you that would be great to bring to sessions. I understand you are bringing more in now. I also imagine T can't analyze your superego if it wasn't in emails. It has to be there to be resolved, so it's good that it's coming out. I loved the raw feelings. It was like experiencing myself for the first time. But there was a lot of sexual stuff too. I get a little jealous of your T. He's just like mine with one exception-my T wasn't as generous as yours, such as saying all the kind things. He was that way for a short time, then I got intense sexual feelings, so then he quit being as kind. That was years ago. I think we are actually going to revisit that soon. I was actually very angry about that, we had a huge rupture over it. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
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#27
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This would mean a lot to me. Of course I'm sure he could have caught up on his paperwork or done other work if you didn't show. And it was brave of you to take the risk and learn that sometimes risk taking brings benefits in interpersonal relationships. What he did encourages you to continue to take risks in therapy and provides a kind of symbolic security that he'll be there. |
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LonesomeTonight, Lrad123, susannahsays
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
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#28
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Anne2.0, LonesomeTonight, susannahsays
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
6 372 hugs
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#29
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
6 372 hugs
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#30
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LonesomeTonight
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Anne2.0, LonesomeTonight
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
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#31
I am so glad you showed up. You have a amazing t and my t would of had someone else right away, thats how my clinic works. Hugs
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Lrad123
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#32
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
6 372 hugs
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#33
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
6 372 hugs
given |
#34
I’m letting myself bask in the memory of this nice therapy experience I had yesterday. I assume the memory will fade and I wish I could hang onto it a bit longer. There was another nice moment yesterday when I told him that part of the reason I decided to come was because in addition to the fact that I was already paying for the session, I felt so horrible that it couldn’t possibly be any worse and then I said, “well, maybe it could get worse. Maybe I’d show up today and you’d tell me this isn’t working any more and we should stop working together. “. But before I could really finish my sentence he cut me of and looked me in the eye and said, “This is working. All the feelings and everything. It’s working.” It was nice that he was so confident when I was feeling like I was acting pretty crazy. Plus he told me at least 3 times that he was glad I was there. Ok. Done gushing for now.
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Anonymous56789, ElectricManatee, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Anne2.0, ElectricManatee, GingerBee, LonesomeTonight
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
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#35
Great post, Lrad.
Maybe you could journal about your session to 'preserve' that memory? Often works for me. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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