First session with old Psychologist

My T is gone for 3 months so I had my first session with my old Psychologist that I stopped seeing about 12 to 15 years ago. I cant remember. Anyway on our first visit she suggest I buy one of her books on DID that she wrote. (Which let me let you is a train wreck) Then she also wants me to come 2 times a week. One to process external stuff ( stressors of everyday life) Then an internal stuff ( to process parts stuff). My first impression is she is money hungry. I dont pay for it but still. Then she got me to do 2 online tests. One test about health and said whatever it showed she would write a note to PCP to get those things addressed then a ADD online test to assess for 6 different types of ADD to see if they would hinder our work and how to addresd it. Then she suggested I buy another book called Got Parts? I dont know how I feel about her.

After one session, it would be unlikely that you would know how you feel about her.

How long did you see her the first time?

Also why did you stop seeing her the first time?

I dont remember any of those things lol. I think it wasnt long. Maybe a couple months or so I think ( and I am guessing as I dont really remember) it had to do with insurance or co-pay that I couldnt afford it with my ex husbands job and the fact that I didnt believe I had a dissociative disorder. Unforunately my records are destroyed and neither of us remember what we talked about other than a test that scored dissociation. Which I dont see as evidence of any kind because I font remember what I was experiencing and I am not big on those kinds of tests.

Hmmm. I was going to say if you were with her for a while then it might make sense that she tried to get you to buy two books but that doesn't sound like it's the case. I think suggesting someone buy two books on the first session is a bit much....especially since one of the books is one she wrote.

About going twice a week- I don't think that means she's money hungry. IME going twice a week really helps me get deeper into topics. And it sounds like you experience a lot of stress resulting from your condition.

It seems weird that she's asking you to read books. Maybe you can get them from the library? Most libraries can order something for you if they don't already have it.

I find going twice a week to generally be helpful for me, and it seems like she has a plan for it. *But* if she's pushing you into it, and you don't want to and/or you can't afford it (in which case you could maybe asked for rate), then I could see your reluctance. One thing you could do is try it out, see how it feels, and you can always switch to once a week. I do find her saying to buy her own book a bit sketchy...(makes me think of a couple professors in college who did that...)but maybe you can find a used copy or get one for a Kindle? (If you don't have a Kindle, you can also get an app for your computer or I think phone to read Kindle books.) My T has recommended books to me, and I've generally gotten them,but he hasn't said I *had* to buy them. I can see their value though, to give you background, and so maybe she wouldn't have to spend as much of your session time explaining things.

She did suggest two she wrote and one she didnt. I only bought one she wrote though.

No, she definitely didnt say I had to just suggested it.

Do you often feel suspicious of people's motives? IIRC, you and your other therapist have discussed DID quite a bit, so the book seems relevant. But don't feel pressured to buy it if you think it's poorly written. I can't imagine that the royalties from a book could be much of a motivator. You buying the book would only enrich her by a few dollors. Instead, I suspect it is that she thinks her book will give you the common language she uses to discuss these issues, like an aid for communication.

To me her suggestions seem quite practical and oriented towards helping you improve certain aspects of your life. Since you live in a group home and don't have a lot of resources, this seems appropriate to me. Wanting to learn if you have ADD and improve your health by writing to your doc seem like good things to me. So does you going twice/week to make more progress.

It seems like all of these things could potentially help you, why not give them a try before you reject them? I don't see what you have to lose, except your skepticism.

what are the book titles I know a few places where you can get books relatively cheep some as low as a couple bucks.

Im a bit worried that she is having you buy books when this is your first session. first sessions are usually more you talking about you and your problems and what want out of therapy and what problems you want to address.

by the way did you know that the author of got parts A. T .W. / Robert Rich is a pseudonym for a male author but not the authors initials. lol I was absolutely surprised to find out there was actually no one named A. T. W. and no actual Robert Rich phd. that the author completely made up this and the bio's for each of his pseudonyms.And that those letters / names he writes under had absolutely nothing to do with the author. most authors that have pseudonyms pick names and initials that mean something important to them but this one purposely picks pseudonyms that have no relationship / connection to the author. and that this author has many different pseudonyms. I found this out at a book signing event he is totally not what most expected. just my musings on this author. totally floored me because the way this author writes had me totally convinced in who the author was and what was being wrote about. now that I know the truth Im highly skeptical of that author and their books.

I did read the book got parts before I knew who the person was behind the computer. but for me most of it was not helpful since it was completely different in how my treatment providers and I were doing things.... others I know found great help from this book. it is a 2005 book, most of the technical information in it like diagnostics, treatments and such are outdated (the world changed over to the new ways and such in 2013) but some still find it useful.

it talks about how everyone even normal people have normal parts of self, learning how to map your parts whether you have dissociation or not, managing your daily life, managing triggers, grounding techniques so that you dont dissociate so much, and much more in the way of outdated information and frankly beware of false information in the book. your treatment provider can help you weed through whats factual based on what DID is today and your own treatment plans.

Yes, I do find myself suspicious of peoples motives. I think I am ecspecially suspicious of her because she kept referring to a test that I took so long ago and dont even remember but I made it clear that I dont want that test to be the focus of our sessions but I want my symptoms now too. She seemed to understanding to that. I guess I will be able to see if we click next week when I have two sessions with her. What does IIRC mean?

IIRC = If I Recall Correctly

Could a factor be that since you'll only see her for a short period of time (the 3 months while your other psychologist is away?) that she is wanting to make sure you're on the same page as her? Hope it works out.

when i started addressing my DID, i began going twice a week for sessions. it wasn't because my T was money hungry (well, he could have been, but i was none the wiser to it at that time if he was) but the reality was that i felt i needed those two sessions a week to help me manage all the internal chaos that was coming up due to coming to terms and dealing with being DID. going twice a week did not last forever while i was in therapy, but i'm appreciative that my ex-T was willing to provide that opportunity because it was quite helpful.

if you don't mind, would you be willing to PM me the books that your T has written? i have read many books pertaining to DID and have found some more helpful than others. i've read 'Got Parts' and it is a decent general and introductory book to DID, but definitely not my favourite resource on the subject.

no disrespect, but you still seem to continue to struggle with coming to terms about the possibility of being DID, which is quite a normal part of the process for those who are suspected of having DID. it definitely took me a while to fully come to terms with it, with a lot of denial and going back and forth that i was DID or that i wasn't.

if you are DID or OSDD, personally i think you are very fortunate to have access to a T that is familiar working with this. i never had that opportunity due to my location. my ex-T was willing to try and do his best, but unfortunately he still made some errors along the way which have taken a while to come to terms with. i would hope that a T who is familiar with DID would not make those same hurtful and potentially harmful mistakes.

Why be suspicious when you said I don't want this and she agreed to it? That's called consideration. And it's perfectly consistent with the motives of someone who wants to actually do a good job.

What do you have to lose by trying these new things out? If you don't think they will work for you after giving it a fair try, you can change it up. But I think you often spend much of your time working against your therapist, then you give it a try and you make progress. Why not cut the front end of this and get to the part where you are open to change?

I am going to give it a try guys.

It seems that, maybe, your old T has changed her therapeutic approach/style over the years? I have seen my T for over 29 years, during which time she has relaxed certain boundaries, for instance. I'd give her a few more sessions, before making up my mind.
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