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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 39
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#1
I’m supposed to have my first face to face appointment this week but I don’t know if I can do it.
Im terrified that bringing up the past again might just make everything worse. I’m scared I won’t be able to talk at all and will be wasting both of our time. I’m worried about telling him I feel suicidal and have been self harming. I I sometimes laugh or smile if I’m uncomfortable / nervous and I can’t stop thinking that this is going to happen at a really inappropriate moment and the t will think badly of me. I keep thinking I would be okay if we could sit not facing each other but there’s no way I could ask that as I would be too embarrassed. I’m so over anxious about the whole thing and I’m tempted to call and change it to a phone appt but I also want to go in to see if I can do it and the t asked if I could come in this time. I just don’t know what to do, everything just seems so hard and I’m so anxious all the time it’s exhausting. If anyone has any advice on handling any of the above/the first face to face appointment I would be grateful. |
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chihirochild, FearLess47, SlumberKitty, Taylor27
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#2
could you write down on a peace of paper some key points?
some things that you know you want to discuss to help jog your memory you'll be fine. I have faith in you |
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#3
you could even use the first session like an icebreaker session.
her getting to know you and vice versa remember therapy is all about how slow you want to take things you're not going to be rushed |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#4
Go. It will be okay.
Don't worry about the smiling thing. That's a VERY common issue for people; the therapist won't be surprised or think badly of you. I can remember a therapist first bringing that to my attention; I didn't even realize I was doing it. He wasn't scolding; he was just making an observation, and we explored why I have that physical response to talking about really difficult issues. It's possible starting to talk about the past will make you feel worse at times. That's also pretty normal. It's kind of like when you have an only partially healed sore and it the scab comes off. Eventually, that sore will start fully healing, but it may take some time (or possibly a lot of time). Share what you are thinking about, even the suicidal thoughts and self harm. He'll ask questions to determine urgency and severity, and may talk about a plan for self-care and/or intervention if needed. That is all, also, very common in therapy. I hope your appointment goes well and that you find actually sitting and have a dialogue with your therapist in person is helpful. Much is lost without body language and voice inflection; I think you'll find the communication is clearer face-to-face. Best of luck. |
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FearLess47
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#5
Maybe it would help to keep the first session / intake rather light? I'm not saying to lie about anything, but you don't have to get really deep into things if you are uncomfortable doing so. For example, if you experienced physical abuse as a child, you could say just that and tell them you don't want to get into details right now. I also sometimes find it a relief to just be direct when I'm worried about something like laughing or smiling inappropriately. I don't have that exact problem, but it seems like it might help to just let the therapist know that you're nervous and it might happen. Then you don't have to keep thinking and worrying about it and what to do if it happens.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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FearLess47
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#6
Whenever I feel like I can't do something, I often tell myself the anxiety over the said event is often much worse than the actual event. That helps me. Maybe it will be helpful to you. I hope the appointment goes well. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
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#7
Writing down key points is an excellent suggestion I've used many times. Even if those "points" are not addressed, it gives you a starting point and something tangible to bring with you. An action for you to take.
In fact, one of the points on the page can be a "I have X in my past, but I can't go there today." And/or a note to yourself, "Proud of you." __________________ alone in a crowded room |
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healing from trauma
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#8
You do not have to talk about it, you can just briefly say if you want to. First sessions with the therapist is more of them getting to know you and why you are there. You can always say you are not comfortable going there and there should be no pressure to, Hugs.
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FearLess47
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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: UK
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#9
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That makes sense and things have definitely been harder and more intense (memories, bad thoughts etc) since I started this process at the beginning of the year. Thank you hopefully after this first appointment just going will get easier. I get why it’s important for me to go in so I’m going to push myself. If the worse comes to the worse I could always get up and walk out. Quote:
At the initial phone call he knows about my anxiety and doesn’t know about anything else really. I think the anticipation of it is sometimes worse than the reality. My brain goes into overdrive. Quote:
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Thank you everyone for replying with support and suggestions, I really appreciate it. |
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Taylor27
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#10
That stinks. The way mental health services are handled in countries with socialized systems of healthcare is the main reason I don't want to move to a single-payer system here in the US. Well, that and the long wait times to see anyone but your GP. I'm not saying our health insurance system is perfect or even decent, because it obviously isn't, but most people in favor of moving to single-payer here are completely ignorant of the drawbacks.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
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#11
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Echos Myron redux
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#12
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I absolutely agree about right wing governments. From your comment, I get the impression you think I am a right-winger, and that really couldn't be further from the truth. The fact remains that I have yet to see a socialized healthcare system that I would like to live under. I am skeptical that human greed would ever allow such a system to work how I would want it to. And I certainly don't believe it would work here in the US where wealth inequality just keeps increasing and people are so ignorant they vote against their own interests. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
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#13
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Echos Myron redux
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#14
I didn't criticize the philosophy, though. Re-read what I actually said. My very first sentence said I don't like the way mental health is handled in the countries practicing socialized medicine. That is speaking about reality, not philosophy.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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