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LonesomeTonight
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Default May 08, 2019 at 01:04 PM
  #21
My T will comment on what I'm wearing sometimes, especially if it's something new. Generally something like, "I don't think I've seen that shirt before" or "Look at those shoes!" (polka dot tennis shoes, not something sexy). Once he said he liked my sweater. Or last summer, I mostly wore sleeveless things, so if I was wearing something with (short) sleeves, he'd sometimes say, "I almost didn't recognize you, you're wearing sleeves today!" It makes me feel like he's paying attention. (And he's quite fashionable, so I consider it a compliment if he likes/notices something I'm wearing.) Honestly, he seems more likely to notice I'm wearing something new than my husband...(of course, maybe my H doesn't want to encourage my clothes spending...). He's also asked me about the beaded bracelets i often wear, asking if they had significance, and I said I mainly wear them as sort of fidget toys for session.

Though I guess a more sort of negative thing was the first two times I wore distressed jeans (a couple small holes), T was like, "Things so bad you have holes in your jeans?" (joking of course--the one time, though, I said yes, because I was doing pretty poorly). So I often avoided any distressed jeans because I didn't feel like hearing that comment. But then I've worn some again recently, and he hasn't said anything, so maybe he's over it. I also make sure not to wear anything that shows too much cleavage, as I've mentioned ET to him on occasion and don't want to seem like I'm trying to look seductive. (Though of course there have been times I've worn a new top and/or new bra and didn't realize till I was sitting in the car on the way to session that it was more revealing than I'd realized, so then I'd just pay attention to how I sat in session.)
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Default May 08, 2019 at 01:54 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
My old one was in her late 50’s. I don’t want my new therapist thinking I am doing poorly based on my appearance when I dress casually all the time even for work. I hope she’s not like that.
I my experience, it isnt just about what a person wears it is about the whole picture and seeing patterns. If I who always dress professionally suddenly went in wearing sweats and jeans it wouldn't necessary mean I was doing poorly but I suspect she would dig a little deeper to see how I am really doing.

If a person normally is more relax dressed and that is their norm then I suspect the T wouldnt think twice about it being an indicator.

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Default May 08, 2019 at 02:24 PM
  #23
Oh I definitely do this. I always go pretty casual, whether that be “nice casual” (like jeans and nicer shirt) or lazy casual (leggings and a hoodie maybe). But no matter where I wear, I always put thought into it haha. And for some reason I ALWAYS wear makeup to therapy, even though I often go without at school or other places. I think at this point, I only continue wearing makeup every time because it’s been 2.5 years of him seeing me with makeup. It would feel weird to all of a sudden not wear it I guess.

My t has only commented on what I was wearing maybe 3 times, so I don’t even know if he notices this stuff lol. Once I had come from my internship so I was dressed up and he commented that I had heels on and called them “fancy shoes” lol.
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Default May 08, 2019 at 03:47 PM
  #24
My T is soo anti bog boots it makes me laugh ( I love them on snowy days). I usually wear dress/skirt to therapy bc my T is super preppy.

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Default May 08, 2019 at 03:57 PM
  #25
I have worn everything from super dressy to little kid pjs. Most the time I wear whatever I've been wearing before seeing her. I walk to her from work or the gym so weather also impacts what I choose to wear. There are times where I feel more slobbish or want to feel more comfortable. Usually those are when I am feeling overly fat. The super dressy and pjs were intentional. I've done the pjs several times when I want to or am feeling little/young. The dress up only once or twice - to show her an outfit I had talked about for a special occasion.

My T rarely comments on my clothing. A few times she's said something looks comfy.
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Default May 08, 2019 at 06:08 PM
  #26
I go to therapy from work. However, my work clothes are pretty casual - usually jeans with a belt, and a polo or plain t-shirt, and always closed-toed shoes (sometimes steel toe boots, though less frequently at my current job).

Every so often T will comment and compliment - like ask if I'm wearing a new shirt, or something. She often comments/compliments when I get my hair cut.

We have discussed my wardrobe in general, that it is casual but clean, unisex, and not terribly memorable (by intent). I do think that if I showed up to her office in shorts/sweats/a hoodie, etc. she would notice and bring it up. I think she would also notice those choices over something either more formal and/or more gendered and ask different questions.
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Default May 08, 2019 at 09:21 PM
  #27
My therapist has never commented on anything I've worn, but he's seen me in everything from a suit and tie to sweatpants. I even wore swim trunks to therapy once, because I was going straight to the beach afterwards. That one pre-beach session I think I did catch him paying more attention than usual to my appearance, but not because of the swim trunks--because my upper arms and shoulders are covered in tattoos and the shirt I was wearing showed them to my therapist for the first time, and I don't think I'd even mentioned them before.

I do pay some attention to what I'm wearing to therapy. Both in that I wonder about looking like a total slob or like I'm not doing well if he's seen me in scrubs and gym clothes for several sessions in a row, and that if I'm dressed more formally I worry about whether I'll be able to contort myself comfortably in the ways I tend to like to when I'm talking about difficult topics.
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Default May 09, 2019 at 01:54 AM
  #28
I know for certain that I strive to dress in a manner to avoid attention...I always dress in good quality simple 'uniform type' black & white mostly.... Pants shirt & jacket. My male psychiatrist asked me after around 3 years of therapy why I never wore skirts?...I asked him the same question, which pretty much put a stop to him caring what I wore.

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Default May 09, 2019 at 09:25 AM
  #29
Yes, I do think about this. Sometimes I want to give a certain message to my psychiatrist. I tend to choose something which will give the appearance that coincides with my mental state or the message I want my doctor to see. For example. I have felt both down and anxious lately. Although I have really been making an effort to look after myself and actually do my hair and apply a little make up I felt I needed to demonstrate that I was a bit depressed. So I felt it best to look at little disheveled and not make that effort to look my best. There are times that I have been in rather good spirits and have made great effort to look the part.
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Default May 09, 2019 at 09:39 AM
  #30
Not really. I pay little attention to what people wear and rarely remember what I was wearing at any given time or day. I would not dress for a therapist.

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Default May 09, 2019 at 01:29 PM
  #31
The only time I think about what I wear is if I haven't been bathing, it is cold outside, and I have the option of putting on a hat to cover my unwashed hair. Otherwise, I don't think about it.

I am not at all observant about what people wear and couldn't tell you what the therapist was wearing one minute after I left her office. The only exception might be if she wears boots that I like. Oh, and I have noticed a leopard print jacket hanging on the back of her door that I think is hideous. I haven't seen her wearing it, though.

I don't recall her every commenting on my outfit. One time C went to therapy right after going to traffic court, and the therapist said she had never seen her in heels. We don't dress up for therapy and being an undergrad requires no special outfit. So when it's warm, we tend to be wearing a pair of Nike Tempo shorts and a t-shirt. When it's cold, the shorts get switched out for sweats or leggings. Due to wild fluctuations in weight caused by going on and off new medications (or failure to take thyroid meds), none of our jeans ever seem to fit the way they should. We do have dresses, but it does not appeal to me to wear a dress to school or therapy. Living on the coast means it is often windy and wearing a dress would carry the risk of having a Marilyn moment. Very occasionally, we'll wear a pair of stretch jean shorts or stretch jean capris and either a t-shirt or blouse. Today, for instance, I am wearing the jean shorts and a blouse. I don't know why I switched it up today, but it isn't because I have a session later - although I probably would have picked something ill-fitting and ratty if I was planning to stay home all day.

Shoes are usually my black Converse low tops, but sometimes other sneakers, sandals, or boots.

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Default May 09, 2019 at 01:49 PM
  #32
Today I wore a dress, which I haven't worn in there since last summer. (Don't wear them in colder weather.) The main reason I wore one today is I need to do laundry.... I sit right across from T and wanted to uncross and recross my legs in the other direction and realized I had to be much more careful than usual to avoid pulling a Sharon Stone (well, I guess I was wearing underpants...) Felt a bit self-conscious doing that. (Doubt I'd feel nearly as self-conscious if I were seeing a female--or, I guess, a gay male T.)
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Default May 09, 2019 at 02:55 PM
  #33
I wore a pair of True Religion skinny jeans, my flame old skool vans, and my black North Face hoodie. Then this morning at work I got a text from my mom saying my therapist had to cancel. Sigh. My mom said she sounded apologetic though. I see her next Thursday now and I’ll provably will wear the same thing.

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Default May 09, 2019 at 03:09 PM
  #34
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I wore a pair of True Religion skinny jeans, my flame old skool vans, and my black North Face hoodie. Then this morning at work I got a text from my mom saying my therapist had to cancel. Sigh. My mom said she sounded apologetic though. I see her next Thursday now and I’ll provably will wear the same thing.

Aw, sorry she had to cancel, that sucks when it's same day!
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Default May 10, 2019 at 11:17 PM
  #35
I often wear my yoga pants and a tshirt or jeans and a tshirt. I've worn capris before but I don't think I've worn shorts because of various SH scars I have. I don't think he'd say anything but I worry about others asking about it during the day. I'll wear shoes or flip flops depending on the weather. I think one time I was pretty dressed up because I went to a funeral beforehand but that's the most formal I've been.
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Default May 11, 2019 at 05:44 AM
  #36
I get a bit self-conscious if I think my T will notice I'm wearing the same clothes as last week. That said, I try to dress to suit the weather. At the moment I wear t-shirt, hoodie and pants, plus sneakers.

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Default Aug 03, 2019 at 06:31 PM
  #37
She hasn’t really said much about my appearance. But last week she sort of did. She looked at my shirt of a Spongebob meme and said “what is your dress code at work?” Because I had just rushed over from work and obviously didn’t have time to change. It sounded a little judgey. I don’t really feel like telling her but maybe I should that I’ve never liked wearing women’s shirts and I size out of most men’s big name brand T shirts so I have to shop at stores where the shirts run small. And that means most of shirt shopping is at Hot Topic and Box Lunch. And I do really like the Spongebob shirts. But it does also come down to a size issue. I’m not sure she’ll get it. I mean I like this therapist. But some things I’m not sure of.

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Default Aug 03, 2019 at 09:34 PM
  #38
Because I go to therapy right after yoga these days, I mostly show up to therapy in my yoga clothes. I care how I look every day of the year.

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Default Aug 04, 2019 at 02:52 AM
  #39
Nope. I'm past all that type of stuff.
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Default Aug 04, 2019 at 05:19 AM
  #40
It's hard to spend excessive amounts of time deliberating between pairs of unremarkable trousers and nondescript t-shirts, but I still manage to do it every week.
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