Are all psychodynamic therapists impersonal and emotionally distant?

SarahSweden · May 13, 2019 at 12:04 PM

Thanks. At the moment I´m only seeing her for evaluation sessions, four times. I have two sessions left. I was referred to her clinic after I´ve seen several psychiatric nurses and other staff at a clinic for depression and anxiety disorders and they don´t offer psychotherapy. By that I was sent to this therapist.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

How long will you be able to see her? How did you get sent to her clinic?

SarahSweden · May 13, 2019 at 12:10 PM

Thanks. I was sent there as they don´t offer psychotherapy at the clinic I was at before. I don´t think I have a more complex diagnosis as I have went through a more thorough evaluation a year ago where they tested me for diagnoses like ADHD and autism and they didn´t find anything.

I haven´t seen my psychiatric nurse in a while but as those two clinics are separate it´s not much she can do about the situation. The referall seemed to be the only valid choice but after meeting with this new therapist there seem to be some miscommunication between those two clinics.

Quote:

Originally Posted by here today

Why do you think you were sent to her clinic? Do you think you might have a more complex diagnosis? What has your psychiatric nurse told you about that? Are you still seeing her, too? Perhaps you could ask her why you were referred to this clinic?

BudFox · May 13, 2019 at 12:26 PM

I think when the premise is that a problem caused by therapy should be the content of therapy, one should be very skeptical. Starts to look like a form of racketeering.

Also, if the goal is to avoid unhealthy situations and retain some self-respect, i think it's more prudent to walk away from something that feels degrading or unnatural, than it is to continue based on intellectual rationalizations.

SarahSweden · May 13, 2019 at 01:06 PM

Thanks. I think it´s good a T can withstand negative feelings from a client but if most of the session consists of me having negative feelings towards her it just creates an unpleasant atmosphere.

I´m going to try to see her for those four evaluation sessions that are already scheduled. I told her last time that I didn´t feel support from her but at the same time I said to her I know those first sessions are more of an interview.

Quote:

Originally Posted by octoberful

I think it's great you can tell her about all your negative feelings. Do you think if she consistently withstands all the negative feelings you might grow to trust her afterwards?

Psychodynamic means different things to different Ts. When I think of psychodynamic, I think of psychoanalysts, who are the type of therapists I hire. Yes, they tend to be more neutral and so draw all your feelings out.

I'd hang in there longer and see how it goes
Give it a chance. Being that honest with a T--telling her exactly how you feel--can be a good thing. Brave, I'd say.

PS My guess is you might be considered a complex case given you've been through so many Ts. It sounds like your T might specialize in complex cases. I personally can't imagine warm and fuzzy Ts in that scenario, but that's just my gut feeling. A warm and fuzzy T may not be solid enough, maybe.

susannahsays · May 13, 2019 at 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

Thanks. I think it´s good a T can withstand negative feelings from a client but if most of the session consists of me having negative feelings towards her it just creates an unpleasant atmosphere.

I don't really see therapy as something that needs to have a pleasant atmosphere. It's not a tea party or some other social engagement.

If the therapist prioritized a pleasant atmosphere, for me, that would send the message that my "unpleasant" feelings and thoughts are something I should keep to myself. I would hesitate to bring anything "negative" into the space.

I value that the therapist, who is psychodynamic, does not make me feel like I'm on a social call where it would be inappropriate to engage in conflict.

SarahSweden · May 13, 2019 at 02:10 PM

Thanks. Yes, as you say I also think there has to be some kind of relating besides just focusing on issues and problems. I think my new T is the kind of T that thinks frustrating the client is the way to healing and I don´t agree on that.

There´s no clinic where you can get a long-term psychotherapy within public health care based on a depression and anxiety diagnosis only. There seems to be some kind of miscommunication between the two clinics, my former and this current where this new T works. I don´t know what they´ll do with me next as me and this new T probably won´t continue together and at the former clinic they don´t offer psychotherapy, just brief counselling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I agree--I'm someone who needs some level of rapport with my T. If I had one who didn't ask how I was doing, told me to have a good weekend, etc., it would bother me. Mine's not warm and fuzzy (or psychodynamic) in general, but he does those sorts of things. My T has said that numerous studies have shown it's the client-T relationship that matters most in the success of therapy, moreso than the specific therapeutic techniques/methods used. Some people might do fine with a more distant T. But if Sarah (and me) wouldn't, that's OK, just would mean she isn't the right T for her (or me).

Plus maybe the clinic isn't the right place, if that T doesn't work with anxiety/depression?

saidso · May 13, 2019 at 02:24 PM

I liked what you wrote @Xynesthesia2 because it highlights for me how people differ in how emotionally demonstrative they are. It's not just "it feels wrong", it's "people differ in their personalities so there is no one size fits all psychotherapy". I didn't know that about therapists, really.

saidso · May 13, 2019 at 02:38 PM

I think that there can be valid reasons for not wanting to do therapy with an emotionally undemonstrative or disengaged helper. I suffered a traumatising education for 7 years as a result of being fast-tracked to an elite school. The teachers all saw me as "different" from their normal intake and hence my simple presence was a nuisance to them. As a result of this on top of my family history of violence I became completely unable to use words. Expressive speech had been taken away because my social origin didn't match the dominant behaviour.

Until I met a therapist who "got" my social origin, I was never going to be able to speak coherently about myself again. Someone had to reconnect for me what was completely and utterly broken.

You can't do that work of reconnection as an analytic observer: you have to model the connection.

Horses for courses.

On the other hand you can't be oversensitive about any situation in life. Have to persevere when stuff is difficult.

Roamer1115 · Jun 30, 2019 at 01:43 PM

I can understand your wanting some social chats, sorta leading up to a deeper talk or even sharing...I felt the same with a therapist in 2018 to present. Much of this has to do with professional ethics and boundary's set by the profession as well as the individual. I think it may help to see some of the articles in the "Psychcentral Psychology" section, searching for articles like "boundaries" here and even general searches on Wikipedia google, etc brings up some great reading and understanding.

Give the weather a chance...one day it may be so bad that it would be impossible to not at least acknowledge a thunderstorm.

Jun 30, 2019 at 02:13 PM

I think engaging in social greetings has nothing to do with the type of therapy being provided. I have met many psychodynamic therapists that greet clients and make small remarks about things. Maybe this is her personality. She may just be very, very task oriented. But, I didn't like her statement about your case not being complex because you have anxiety and depression. It sounds rather dismissive (I can't think of another word).

Lonelyinmyheart · Jun 30, 2019 at 03:31 PM

Definitely not. The first T I ever saw was psychodynamic and she was a wonderful, caring human being who gave a lot of herself emotionally to help me. Ts are all different. She didn't mention anything about her family or private life though that I recall, which is somewhat different to later (humanistic) Ts I've seen.

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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Jun 30, 2019 at 03:31 PM #51 Definitely not. The first T I ever saw was psychodynamic and she was a wonderful, caring human being who gave a lot of herself emotionally to help me. Ts are all different. She didn't mention anything about her family or private life though that I recall, which is somewhat different to later (humanistic) Ts I've seen.
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