Mother’s Day

goatee · May 11, 2019 at 10:14 AM

Just wondering... does anyone wish their T a happy Mother’s Day and, if so, how does their T react?

ArtleyWilkins · May 11, 2019 at 10:22 AM

My T's were male with their own kids and grandkids, so I do wish them a happy father's day, not because I in any way think of them as fatherly to me . . . just because that's the standard polite chit chat surrounding those types of days.

goatee · May 11, 2019 at 10:36 AM

Good point- I meant wish it to them not just politely, but because they’re motherly to you in some way. That’s a really important distinction.

stopdog · May 11, 2019 at 10:38 AM

I never did. I think those are personal holidays - I would not wish anyone but my own parents/grandparents happy mother's/father's day. I don't say it to my friends, neighbors, co-workers, random strangers on the street (unlike happy new year for example). Also, I think they are hallmark holidays that are mostly driven by commercialism even if that is not what the inventor of the holiday intended. To me, it would have been way too familiar for someone in the position of hired therapist - if she had said it to me or vice versa - neither of our places to do so to the other.

Jersey 4 · May 11, 2019 at 10:41 AM

I used to tell the therapist to enjoy her mother’s day (knowing back then she had 2 young daughters). She would just give half a smile. I didn’t over think the half smile. Much like Artley..it was just during some light chit chat. Just like during the holidays I would wish her a Merry Christmas. (Knowing that’s the holiday she celebrated)

ArtleyWilkins · May 11, 2019 at 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I never did. I think those are personal holidays - I would not wish anyone but my own parents/grandparents happy mother's/father's day. I don't say it to my friends, neighbors, co-workers, random strangers on the street (unlike happy new year for example). Also, I think they are hallmark holidays that are mostly driven by commercialism even if that is not what the inventor of the holiday intended. To me, it would have been way too familiar for someone in the position of hired therapist - if she had said it to me or vice versa - neither of our places to do so to the other.

I get that. I think the fact that I am a parent perhaps is why I wish my fellow parents in this world a good day. For instance, I wished my next door teacher neighbor happy mother's day as we are good friends and I knew she would be spending the weekend with her family. I'm also almost always at church on those mornings with lots of other parents celebrating that day with their kids. It's always been a special day for us, traditionally honored in our church, and a day when we often get together with family.

Elio · May 11, 2019 at 11:08 AM

I do have maternal transference and I have wished her happy mother's day for the last 2 yrs. There has been some talk about what to do tomorrow as our relationship is strained some right now. It's doing better - it is confusing for me and I'm not sure how I'm feeling as it seems to change fairly drastically day to day; hour to hour.

No conclusion was reached and yesterday's email exchange did not hit me very well. So?? I don't what I'll do tomorrow.

My T has always been gracious about receiving it and she's been clear that it's ok for her if I send it or not tomorrow. Regardless, she still knows I love her and she still loves me - even if I'm mad with her tomorrow. (Yeah, it was a strange exchange and I don't really understand what's going on right now.)

bunnyhabit · May 11, 2019 at 12:11 PM

My T is a man so would be confused by such a salutation

elisewin · May 11, 2019 at 12:46 PM

Yes, always! She wishes the same to me. But we treat it kind of same way than wishing each other a happy NY, not overanalyzing it.

Lemoncake · May 11, 2019 at 02:37 PM

R is male so it's father's day for me.

I wrote him a sappy email message last year telling him that he was the closest thing I had to a father and I hoped he had a wonderful father’s day and I thanked him for all the time and energy he spent with me. That his presence in my life showed me that men could be reliable, stable and kind. And that I was grateful to have him as my t.

I told him I didn't want a reply back, but we've talked about it in session and he's okay with it.

nottrustin · May 11, 2019 at 02:56 PM

I did with T. One year I actually got her a gift and honestly did not consider it a mothers day gift. I just happened happened to be out with my family that day at her and my favorite restaurant. I bought her a gift card to say thank you for helping me through an especially difficult time. When she received it she emailed me thanking me but questioned the reason behind it. I told her my reason and apologized if it was not appropriate. Since my moms death I fo not by mothers day gifts I hadn't really thought about it.

Since T passing I realize just how much of a maternal role T played in my life and wonder if deep down it was part of why I bought the GC.

I told Emdr T I hoped she had a great mother's day

May 11, 2019 at 04:20 PM

With ex-therapist, we wished each other a happy Mother’s Day the session directly before. (we are both mothers)

We usually talked about Mother’s Day the session right after since I don’t have a mother and the day is a weird mix of emotions.

I have never given her anything to aknowledge the maternal space she held for me. She usually steered our sessions away from directly talking about our relationship so it never felt appropriate.

May 11, 2019 at 05:00 PM

My T is male, and he's been more of a mother to me than my own mother. I wouldn't wish hin happy mother's day, but I do wish him happy father's day in June. We both have children.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Mother’s Day

My Support Forums

goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	May 11, 2019 at 10:14 AM #1 Just wondering... does anyone wish their T a happy Mother’s Day and, if so, how does their T react?
	Reply With Quote

ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	May 11, 2019 at 10:22 AM #2 My T's were male with their own kids and grandkids, so I do wish them a happy father's day, not because I in any way think of them as fatherly to me . . . just because that's the standard polite chit chat surrounding those types of days.
	Reply With Quote

goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	May 11, 2019 at 10:36 AM #3 Good point- I meant wish it to them not just politely, but because they’re motherly to you in some way. That’s a really important distinction.
	Reply With Quote

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	May 11, 2019 at 10:41 AM #5 I used to tell the therapist to enjoy her mother’s day (knowing back then she had 2 young daughters). She would just give half a smile. I didn’t over think the half smile. Much like Artley..it was just during some light chit chat. Just like during the holidays I would wish her a Merry Christmas. (Knowing that’s the holiday she celebrated)
	Reply With Quote

bunnyhabit Account Suspended Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Tainan, Taiwan Posts: 221 6	May 11, 2019 at 12:11 PM #8 My T is a man so would be confused by such a salutation
	Reply With Quote

elisewin Veteran Member Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 507 6 89 hugs given	May 11, 2019 at 12:46 PM #9 Yes, always! She wishes the same to me. But we treat it kind of same way than wishing each other a happy NY, not overanalyzing it.
	Reply With Quote

Anonymous56789 Guest Posts: n/a	May 11, 2019 at 05:00 PM #13 My T is male, and he's been more of a mother to me than my own mother. I wouldn't wish hin happy mother's day, but I do wish him happy father's day in June. We both have children.
	Reply With Quote