If you give your therapist a book, is it reasonable to expect they read it?

yea Im with everyone else here giving a therapist a book or Cd or anything else for that matter means what they choose to do with it after you have given it to them is up to them.. just like if your therapist gives you a book you can read or not or set it on a shelf for what ever reasons or donate or sell it. its theres once you give it away.

that said I have at times with various therapists......shown....... my therapist a book and told her why the book was important to me and asked whether it was something we could read and talk about together during my sessions with him/ her.

I think you can ask, but they have the right to say no.
I have marked a few pages in a book before and asked her to read.
my therapist probably would read a book I asked her to, but it would be hard for her to find the time, so i would expect to wait a while.

LT, it was fine. But my purpose isn't the particular songs or lyrics or anything. It's about the performances and what they reveal about the nature of performance and how that relates to identity. I used to perform, and one of the issues I'm exploring is the creation of a performance identity and how that functioned in my life.

It's only mandatory she read it if I've written it. I'm only semi satirical.

Had you discussed the book in session beforehand? Had your therapist shown interest? Or did you just show up unexpectedly and force the book upon them?

No, it is not reasonable to expect they read it. Who are we to dictate what their choice of reading material be. This sounds rather like a demand to me.

Even if the therapist in fact did show interest it still wouldn't be fair for you to expect they read it. Consider this, that you wouldn't be the only client in their practise to be forcing books upon them. The therapist couldn't even begin to read them all. Consider too, the priorities they have to manage regarding their time. Holding sessions with clients is not the whole extent of their time. They will be constantly broadening their own knowledge too with academia and their own reading requirements. They have follow-up and administration to carry-out and I imagine some of this extends into their personal time. Finally, their personal time is just that - their own. Are we entitled to dictate what they do with it?

Also I think if something is really important for her to read, bring it to a session to read or read the parts aloud that you want her to hear?

Yes, but we still do so at their discretion. I suppose we can bring the topic up and suggest it's relevance to the therapy but ultimately it is their decision.

I suppose this is not unlike my showing my psychiatrist and therapist photos of my art work; however, I have never done so without their clear indication they wish to see it.

If I want to go to the bother of taking in a book and reading from it - that is not up to the therapist. I do not consider that to be at a therapist's discretion. I am paying for the time and I can choose how to spend that time. A client cannot control what a therapist does with the information, but whether or not the client presents the information and how they go about it is up to the client alone.

I suppose you have a point here, thank you. Point taken.

But I think there is a heck of a lot more to this story than what is being let on here.

For what reasons exist that the therapist would purposely choose to ignore this gifting of the book? Consider for a moment the nature of the relationship between the OP and the therapist. Is it completely professional or is there a degree of transference either already occurring or that the therapist is concerned might potentially happen? Is there some other reason the therapist could consider the topic of the book a potential trigger?

What may seem an obvious reaction to all of you or I might not be as obvious as it appears to be. There has absolutely got to be a reason the therapist has remained mum on this. Who are we to demand to know why?

My T brings any gift to the table( literally), and there is a long discussion of why it was proffered before he inevitably says no gifts. The one exception would be something salient or intellectually relevant to our exact therapy. He will read and discuss that, but not keep a book as a gift.

This is a good question,

I believe it is important that a therapist fully grasps a client's anguish as well as researches and maintains a sizeable foundation of knowledge - with all potential problems faced in therapy.

That being said, if a client hands a therapist a book that is particularly helpful in understanding a client - the therapist definitely should read it. At least in part. I don't like when therapists argue, "oh it's a waste of time," or, "you'll have to pay me."

If they were at all competent, they would realize that any literature or references that a client gives them is not only a means of helping that particular client, but also a means to help the therapist relate and understand patients moving into the future.

Obviously this is different if a therapist already knows a lot about the literature or has already read it.

I have given therapists reading. I have also been given reading by therapists and I have read the material front to back. I like therapists who are actively engaged and willing to show a client that they care; one way is to read a book that a client gives them. If they cannot see merit in it - and always resort to the, "I need to be paid to read this book," argument, then in my opinion they may have narcissistic tendencies and could potentially harm the client. (Unless of course there are legitimate reasons as to why they don't bother).

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

i have done similar and have shared books and articles with my ex-T and he has shared relevant books from his library as well with me. the books i was sharing were usually in regards to DID because my T had no prior experince working with clients who presented with it. he requested to see the books and was willing to take the time to make himself familiar with some of the materials i was buying and reading to educate myself about DID.

for me, him taking an interest or being curious about what i was reading and learning in regards to my issues and him sharing some of his personal materials did seem to strengthen the relationship and helped me feel like he was interested in helping me to work through them. it helped to make therapy feel more corroborative and that we were on the same team working towards a common goal.

i would hope that most Ts would want to try to convey that kind of camaraderie with their clients to aid in strengthening the therapeutic relationship.