Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

stopdog · May 21, 2019 at 10:13 PM

We have been having an exciting evening of tornado warnings and hail.

May 21, 2019 at 10:43 PM

I took my mom to an Indian cuisine place for dinner, my first time there, it was so delicious. I had malai kofta I think it was called. Veggie frittatas in a brownish orange colored sauce over rice. It was so tasty! My mom got something with garbanzo beans I forget the name and we ended up sharing them. And we got these lentil cracker things too. My taste buds came alive!!

stopdog · May 21, 2019 at 10:50 PM

The lentil crackers were probably papadum.
I love indian food.

LonesomeTonight · May 22, 2019 at 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I took my mom to an Indian cuisine place for dinner, my first time there, it was so delicious. I had malai kofta I think it was called. Veggie frittatas in a brownish orange colored sauce over rice. It was so tasty! My mom got something with garbanzo beans I forget the name and we ended up sharing them. And we got these lentil cracker things too. My taste buds came alive!!

Maybe chana masala for the garbanzo beans dish? I like that one. I remember the first time I tried Indian food, at a buffet during an internship in college. It was like a revelation, particularly the veggie samosas and...whatever the green sauce they serve with them is.

Lemoncake · May 22, 2019 at 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I was adopted by my parents when I was a week old. The date was always acknowledged but not celebrated like a birthday would be. I guess what I'm saying is that it's a date I remember and my parents remember. I've been seeing so much stuff lately in the lead up to Father's Day this year and since this is the first year without him, it's stinging a little bit. I was curious what day it's on this year. It's on June 16, which is the day I was adopted, so it's quite literally the day my father became my father. I'm having some feels about this.

I'm sorry for your loss NP. Would it help if you spent time with family?

Lemoncake · May 22, 2019 at 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Having a really **** day.

How are you feeling now?

Lemoncake · May 22, 2019 at 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I'm kind of like that with former T right now too. I want to email her but I'm not letting myself. Though I might since this SH relapse. But I don't know because I'm still in the middle of it. Usually I would write her towards the beginning or middle of the month, but I did email her three times last month (bad me) and texted her once (very bad me). I guess part of me is trying to give her a break from me and try to rely more on current T. But current T isn't as good. No one is as good as former T, imho.

I hope you can let yourself email and get support from old T. If you're struggling it would make sense that you would reach out to someone you can trust.

May 22, 2019 at 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

The lentil crackers were probably papadum.

I love indian food.

Yep, that's it, papadum.

May 22, 2019 at 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Maybe chana masala for the garbanzo beans dish? I like that one. I remember the first time I tried Indian food, at a buffet during an internship in college. It was like a revelation, particularly the veggie samosas and...whatever the green sauce they serve with them is.

Yes! That was it! Chana masala. Revelation is a good word for how my taste buds felt!

chihirochild · May 22, 2019 at 10:19 AM

T suggested I go to a contemporary art museum in town. I’m there now. I think this is good for me. I think there’s a crack in the hopelessness big enough to let a bit of light in.

SlumberKitty · May 22, 2019 at 10:55 AM

HUGS @chihirochild

SlumberKitty · May 22, 2019 at 10:58 AM

Good morning all. I managed to not SH yesterday. Lets see if I can get through today. I haven't taken any anxiety medication yet either, so let's see if I can get through today without it. I'm still feeling dissociative and sort of out of it. Zoned out I guess. It makes the day really long. I woke up with a sore throat that I am hoping is just allergies as it has been really windy here lately and blowing all sorts of pollen around. I'm just trying to get through the day one moment at a time. I'm glad the Couch is here. HUGS Kit

NP_Complete · May 22, 2019 at 11:01 AM

My therapist never responded to my Monday after-session email and I'm feeling hurt by it. In it, I said that I knew what I was telling him could have waited but the feeling of desperation for connection was getting the better of me. I feel like I wasn't important enough for him to send a simple confirmation that he received it. You'd think I'd learn eventually to not send him anything.

SlumberKitty · May 22, 2019 at 11:08 AM

HUGS @NP_Complete waiting for the T email that doesn't come is the hardest. I'm sorry he didn't respond. HUGS Kit

atisketatasket · May 22, 2019 at 12:12 PM

Grrr...graphs. I got it in the end, but it took an hour.

SlumberKitty · May 22, 2019 at 01:21 PM

Argh. I want to SH again. I don't even know what I'm going to tell T on Saturday. When I'm in a cycle, I feel like I have no choice but to let the cycle run itself out and then I'm good for a while. But I know that sounds crazy.

Possible trigger:

it's almost like a purge, I have to get it all out of my system

. The cycle can easily make me feel stuck and it's hard to get unstuck. I miss former T because I could have emailed her through this cycle. Current T doesn't email. I see her Saturday and then not again until the 7th of June. I have no idea what I'm going to tell her on Saturday besides the fact that I SH-ed. HUGS Kit

SlumberKitty · May 22, 2019 at 02:45 PM

My boss bought lunch for me and the receptionist today. =) I had brought my lunch, but chicken Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and bread sticks was so much better than the PB&J I had planned. I asked her how much I owed her for the lunch and she said, nothing, her treat. Plus yesterday she gave my family a $100 grocery store gift card. I happen to be wearing a sweatshirt that says "blessed" today. I guess that is true. I still want to SH though. But I'm trying to focus on these positive things. HUGS Kit

Lemoncake · May 22, 2019 at 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Argh. I want to SH again. I don't even know what I'm going to tell T on Saturday. When I'm in a cycle, I feel like I have no choice but to let the cycle run itself out and then I'm good for a while. But I know that sounds crazy.

Possible trigger:

it's almost like a purge, I have to get it all out of my system

. The cycle can easily make me feel stuck and it's hard to get unstuck. I miss former T because I could have emailed her through this cycle. Current T doesn't email. I see her Saturday and then not again until the 7th of June. I have no idea what I'm going to tell her on Saturday besides the fact that I SH-ed. HUGS Kit

SK I think you need more support than current T can provide you with.To his credit when I've been in crisis mode R saw me three times in one week. To wait till the 7th when you're like this isn't safe especially if the SH is escalating.

Do you have any other support available?

atisketatasket · May 22, 2019 at 02:56 PM

I have learned that in economics one succeeds by thinking the opposite of one's instinct about what to think.

And I agree with Lemon, Kit. You need more support. And I'm thinking non-economically when I say that (i.e., instinctually).

Lemoncake · May 22, 2019 at 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

My boss bought lunch for me and the receptionist today. =) I had brought my lunch, but chicken Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and bread sticks was so much better than the PB&J I had planned. I asked her how much I owed her for the lunch and she said, nothing, her treat. Plus yesterday she gave my family a $100 grocery store gift card. I happen to be wearing a sweatshirt that says "blessed" today. I guess that is true. I still want to SH though. But I'm trying to focus on these positive things. HUGS Kit

Aww you have a lovely boss.

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Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,723 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	May 21, 2019 at 10:13 PM #621 We have been having an exciting evening of tornado warnings and hail. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,723 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	May 21, 2019 at 10:50 PM #623 The lentil crackers were probably papadum. I love indian food. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 10:19 AM #630 T suggested I go to a contemporary art museum in town. I’m there now. I think this is good for me. I think there’s a crack in the hopelessness big enough to let a bit of light in.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 10:55 AM #631 HUGS @chihirochild __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 11:08 AM #634 HUGS @NP_Complete waiting for the T email that doesn't come is the hardest. I'm sorry he didn't respond. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,144 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 12:12 PM #635 Grrr...graphs. I got it in the end, but it took an hour.

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,144 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 02:56 PM #639 I have learned that in economics one succeeds by thinking the opposite of one's instinct about what to think. And I agree with Lemon, Kit. You need more support. And I'm thinking non-economically when I say that (i.e., instinctually).