Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

unaluna · May 22, 2019 at 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I didn't even know what Pabulum meant so I had to look it up. My vocabulary really sucks but then again, you learn something new on the couch everyday! Thanks @@ and unaluna!!

I think i read it in a dickens or bronte book.

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 07:02 PM

I had a promising phone interview yesterday that now turned into a meeting in person on Tuesday morning. But they wanted a copy of my drivers license so that they can run their own background check. I usually provide a criminal background check and a driving record, but her husband wants to run a department of Defense background on me. What shows up on one of those?

I really didn’t want them To see my credit history. Usually that doesn’t come Into play in my field and now It will? Will They suddenly know all my relatives? My ancestors? I mean what comes up on a government background check from the DOD? I’m worried. I just feel certain things are none of their business-like my debts and who my relatives are. I keep my personal life out of work.

May 22, 2019 at 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I hope the professor gives good feedback and helps you improve your poetry.

Thank you! I hope so too. Her email said part of how she grades is on willingness to try new things and less on whether or not she "likes" our work. And we will be submitting a portfolio of our work as the final.

NP_Complete · May 22, 2019 at 07:18 PM

The topic of validating abuse has come up this week in therapy. Today he told a story of a "blunder" he made as a young therapist by labeling a woman's experience as abuse and how it's made him think twice before labeling something for other clients. While he was relating this, he made a comment that he felt very protective of her. We had a difficult session today topic-wise and after I left I was sobbing on the drive back home. Part of my emotionality was wondering if he feels protective of me too. I really wanted to email him and ask him if he felt that way towards me. I've resisted. It feels a little child-like to ask him that. I wonder if I could gather enough courage to ask him in person though I don't want to put him on the spot. I just really want him to feel protective of me too.

atisketatasket · May 22, 2019 at 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

I had a promising phone interview yesterday that now turned into a meeting in person on Tuesday morning. But they wanted a copy of my drivers license so that they can run their own background check. I usually provide a criminal background check and a driving record, but her husband wants to run a department of Defense background on me. What shows up on one of those?

I really didn’t want them To see my credit history. Usually that doesn’t come Into play in my field and now It will? Will They suddenly know all my relatives? My ancestors? I mean what comes up on a government background check from the DOD? I’m worried. I just feel certain things are none of their business-like my debts and who my relatives are. I keep my personal life out of work.

Is it possible one or the other works for the federal government and has a security clearance to handle sensitive information which might be at their home? And so they want to make sure you're not the Russian ambassador's new squeeze, know what I mean?

I would imagine a Department of Defense background check comes up with federal crimes and charges only, but I don't know.

WarmFuzzySocks · May 22, 2019 at 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

I had a promising phone interview yesterday that now turned into a meeting in person on Tuesday morning. But they wanted a copy of my drivers license so that they can run their own background check. I usually provide a criminal background check and a driving record, but her husband wants to run a department of Defense background on me. What shows up on one of those?

I really didn’t want them To see my credit history. Usually that doesn’t come Into play in my field and now It will? Will They suddenly know all my relatives? My ancestors? I mean what comes up on a government background check from the DOD? I’m worried. I just feel certain things are none of their business-like my debts and who my relatives are. I keep my personal life out of work.

Jersey, will they need fingerprints too? I have to do a fingerprinted FBI check for my line of work. It’s a pretty standard employment requirement for education professionals...I imagine it’s similar? I think it just covers all states at a more thorough level than some of the background check sites.

Elio · May 22, 2019 at 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

What about craig's list? Is that still a thing? I know my sister used to get stuff off of craig's list...like free stuff or inexpensive stuff. I've never actually used it myself.

I use craigslist extensively and find many good to free deals.

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Is it possible one or the other works for the federal government and has a security clearance to handle sensitive information which might be at their home? And so they want to make sure you're not the Russian ambassador's new squeeze, know what I mean?

I would imagine a Department of Defense background check comes up with federal crimes and charges only, but I don't know.

ATAT- he does have security clearances. They told me that on the phone although not too specific on his exact “position”.

Elio · May 22, 2019 at 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

So I'm sitting here in my empty apartment waiting for a delivery. I've made a ton of phone calls trying to donate my extra furniture. No one will take it except 1800-got-junk. Even the waste management wouldn't take it! It's good furniture too. Just too big for the apartment. I tried the church donations, goodwill, salvation army, local thrift shops, even habit for humanity!

And no one will take our husky! Not even the animal shelters. My stupid H put it off for too long. Now we have to pay for boarding until someone will take him.

Is it that they won't accept the items or that they won't pick them up? It might have something to do with the animals; hard to say. Like stated earlier, I've used craigslist both for getting rid of stuff and for getting stuff. I usually don't have much problem with people coming and getting stuff off craigslist if I am offering it up for free. There is also Facebook marketplace and offer up (I think that one is still there).

Another thing with craigslist is to look in the wanted section, often there will be people looking for things for a variety of reasons. You can also check with your local women's shelters - our town has a centralized location for shelter donations. You'll still probably have to get the stuff to them.

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

Jersey, will they need fingerprints too? I have to do a fingerprinted FBI check for my line of work. It’s a pretty standard employment requirement for education professionals...I imagine it’s similar? I think it just covers all states at a more thorough level than some of the background check sites.

She didn’t ask me for fingerprints. Only to text her a picture of her license-which I did. But what is checked at a more thorough level? Like their going to know everyone I’ve ever met in my life? Who I’m related to? Every time I missed a credit card payment? I have debt. I feel like it’s none of their business. I never stole. No bodies buried in my backyard. Clean driving history. What more could they want.

08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I hope the professor gives good feedback and helps you improve your poetry.

Thank you! I hope so too. Her email said part of how she grades is on willingness to try new things and less on whether or not she "likes" our work. And we will be submitting a portfolio of our work as the final.
Eta: oh yeah and we'll be doing small-group workshops too.

atisketatasket · May 22, 2019 at 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

She didn’t ask me for fingerprints. Only to text her a picture of her license-which I did. But what is checked at a more thorough level? Like their going to know everyone I’ve ever met in my life? Who I’m related to? Every time I missed a credit card payment? I have debt. I feel like it’s none of their business. I never stole. No bodies buried in my backyard. Clean driving history. What more could they want.

Jersey, I think you're worrying too much. I can't imagine they'll do as thorough background check on you as they did on him. They probably just want to make sure you haven't, I don't know, visited Yemen lately.

My father's security clearance was always hellish because his father had fought for the Communists in the Greek Civil War (this was during the Cold War, obviously). I think they're looking for things like that.

Also, do you feel comfortable asking what will be covered?

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Jersey, I think you're worrying too much. I can't imagine they'll do as thorough background check as they did on him. They probably just want to make sure you haven't, I don't know, visited Yemen lately.

My father's security clearance was always hellish because his father had fought for the Communists in the Greek Civil War (this was during the Cold War, obviously). I think they're looking for things like that.

Also, do you feel comfortable asking what will be covered?

I had planned to ask her what’s covered when I see her Tuesday. But I guess the check will be back by then since they asked me for a picture text of my license this afternoon. Probably running it tonhave prior to our meeting on Tuesday. (I’m meeting her at her home and her kids will be present)

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 07:50 PM

My stupid brain and anxiety get the best of me at times.

WarmFuzzySocks · May 22, 2019 at 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

She didn’t ask me for fingerprints. Only to text her a picture of her license-which I did. But what is checked at a more thorough level? Like their going to know everyone I’ve ever met in my life? Who I’m related to? Every time I missed a credit card payment? I have debt. I feel like it’s none of their business. I never stole. No bodies buried in my backyard. Clean driving history. What more could they want.

They probably won’t need all of that info or even care. You won’t be working for the DOD yourself so you won’t need a super intensive check for security clearances. Could it be that his not-super-specific position just means he had to run his own security check for household employees as a formality? I’m pretty sure if it was something super extensive/intrusive they’d have to inform you what they'd be looking at.

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

They probably won’t need all of that info or even care. You won’t be working for the DOD yourself so you won’t need a super intensive check for security clearances. Could it be that his not-super-specific position just means he had to run his own security check for household employees as a formality? I’m pretty sure if it was something super extensive/intrusive they’d have to inform you what they'd be looking at.

That could be a requirement for him to have to run them for household employees. They said they did one on their last nanny and nothing came up. So I guess your right-it’s probably not super extensive.

It’s out of my hands. They have a picture of my license.
If they don’t like anything they see on the search- then they can just tell me not to come to the interview Tuesday. (If the check is back by then)

atisketatasket · May 22, 2019 at 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

My stupid brain and anxiety get the best of me at times.

Another way to look at it is that they're very serious about you. No one requests background checks at the federal level lightly, I would think.

Jersey 4 · May 22, 2019 at 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Another way to look at it is that they're very serious about you. No one requests background checks at the federal level lightly, I would think.

I really liked her on the phone yesterday. She was so kind. Really loves her kids. She said “We are a laid back family and we aren’t demanding. I just want someone to love my kids and keep them safe. We want the person we choose to become part of our family”

I guess I just don’t want anything to mess up my chances of being in the running to get it.

I just took Unisome. I should sleep soon before it overrides.

May 22, 2019 at 08:24 PM

Reason why I didn't hear from the acute care was because I wasn't deemed unsafe for a psychiatric review and they recommended to my gp to have a private pdoc review but none are cheap enough then they suggested a Telehealth review, how would that work? Apparently on skype, they wouldn't have my notes I don't think and I have lost the letter that has all the meds I have reactions to.

JaneTennison1 · May 22, 2019 at 08:28 PM

and we are on the barf cycle again. To make it worse I had a fight with T tonight. I forgot how full of nonsense they are. She said sometimes with people she feels there is more going on than discussed but she doesnt feel that with me. wtf I just felt so alone in that room

I'm so alone at home and so alone in T. I honestly dont think I can face much more.

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Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

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Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 07:50 PM #674 My stupid brain and anxiety get the best of me at times.

JaneTennison1 Magnate Member Since Aug 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,202 9 121 hugs given	May 22, 2019 at 08:28 PM #680 and we are on the barf cycle again. To make it worse I had a fight with T tonight. I forgot how full of nonsense they are. She said sometimes with people she feels there is more going on than discussed but she doesnt feel that with me. wtf I just felt so alone in that room I'm so alone at home and so alone in T. I honestly dont think I can face much more.