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Default May 18, 2019 at 10:12 AM
  #101
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I am sorry to hear it was not as useful as it could have been.
For me, my person's cancer and all that surrounded it was the one area where the therapist was not a complete disaster. All I required was a place where I did not have to deal with/take care of anyone else or their response to her cancer/treatments/surgeries or anyone else's response to my responses about it etc. I did not have to check myself to be nice or take care of or help anyone else deal with it for that one period of time. I really don't recall the therapist doing anything except sit there - but that whole period of time is still so blurry in a lot of ways.
Yeah I suppose. I realized he was doing exactly what he said for me to do for my husband when I said I do not know what to do or say to him anymore when I saw him crying. He said you do not need to say anything or do anything you just need to sit with him. He was emulating exactly that and it was not doing much for me so I wonder if that would do anything for my husband if it was was not comforting me when T was doing it?

I think I was expecting my T to be a little more less distant to me and little be more compassionate. I wish he would drop that damn pragmatic therapy style crap. His actions and words do say I am important to him but he never says it outright. Sometimes you just need that in times like this. I left there feeling empty and really alone.

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Default May 18, 2019 at 10:15 AM
  #102
Offense is in the eye of the beholder. As a rape survivor, I think psychological rape is an appropriately analogy for what I once experienced in therapy. I mentioned what happened in another thread. While it's not my experience in therapy overall, a therapist penetrating my defenses and exposing the contents of my inner world--my dissociated parts--sure did feel like psychological rape. I did not consent to such an experience as I was seeking help for concentration difficulties.

The title of the thread "therapy is bs/wrong!" may clue people in that the thread may contain things that speak of therapy unpleasantries, so the act of coming to this thread or maintaining a pattern of coming to such threads may contribute to one's own reactions, which may include feeling offended.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 10:19 AM
  #103
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Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie View Post
Yeah I suppose. I realized he was doing exactly what he said for me to do for my husband when I said I do not know what to do or say to him anymore when I saw him crying. He said you do not need to say anything or do anything you just need to sit with him. He was emulating exactly that and it was not doing much for me so I wonder if that would do anything for my husband if it was was not comforting me when T was doing it?

I think I was expecting my T to be a little more less distant to me and little be more compassionate. I wish he would drop that damn pragmatic therapy style crap. His actions and words do say I am important to him but he never says it outright. Sometimes you just need that in times like this. I left there feeling empty and really alone.
Is there something that you would have found comforting? Could you ask the therapist to do it?
This may just be me, but it was a good thing for me to not have to endure someone trying to be comforting at me when in reality there was nothing anyone could have actively done that I would have found comforting at that time. I was annoyed at others who were trying to be comforting to me but since the others were my friends, I couldn't (or didn't want to because I knew they were trying to be kind) snap at them - I just endured it. With the therapist, I did not have to endure that at least.

I am sorry you and your husband are facing this.

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Last edited by stopdog; May 18, 2019 at 10:32 AM..
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Default May 18, 2019 at 10:59 AM
  #104
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Is there something that you would have found comforting? Could you ask the therapist to do it?
This may just be me, but it was a good thing for me to not have to endure someone trying to be comforting at me when in reality there was nothing anyone could have actively done that I would have found comforting at that time. I was annoyed at others who were trying to be comforting to me but since the others were my friends, I couldn't (or didn't want to because I knew they were trying to be kind) snap at them - I just endured it. With the therapist, I did not have to endure that at least.

I am sorry you and your husband are facing this.
You know......I do not want comforting from anyone except my T. I think about who I would want to be there to sit with me. No one. I have zero connection with anyone and honestly would just be annoyed at others around me telling me what to do. What I would like is someone to come over and cook or clean or sit with him if he wants. I have always been taking care of myself with no help from family or friends. My husband and I have been through trials and tribulations with zero help. 4 moves, car accidents, surgeries, job losses.

This is the first time I ever felt like I wanted to be comforted by someone and unfortunately the person I want it from is my T.

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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 11:00 AM
  #105
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Offense is in the eye of the beholder. As a rape survivor, I think psychological rape is an appropriately analogy for what I once experienced in therapy. I mentioned what happened in another thread. While it's not my experience in therapy overall, a therapist penetrating my defenses and exposing the contents of my inner world--my dissociated parts--sure did feel like psychological rape. I did not consent to such an experience as I was seeking help for concentration difficulties.

The title of the thread "therapy is bs/wrong!" may clue people in that the thread may contain things that speak of therapy unpleasantries, so the act of coming to this thread or maintaining a pattern of coming to such threads may contribute to one's own reactions, which may include feeling offended.
Exactly. The thread title clearly indicates the subject. I don’t see the constructiveness of joining in to debate, be offended, police semantics or gloat one’s superiority. I’ve never taken psych medications, but don’t prowl the forum to contrast myself with those who do.

Octoberful I’m sorry for what happened to you.

I’d perhaps compare my lighter experiences to the thrall of a sex addict who courts, conquers and discards with no real stake in the game. I have no metaphor for my more brutal experience, but find cult member stories evocative and painful.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 11:10 AM
  #106
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You know......I do not want comforting from anyone except my T. I think about who I would want to be there to sit with me. No one. I have zero connection with anyone and honestly would just be annoyed at others around me telling me what to do. What I would like is someone to come over and cook or clean or sit with him if he wants. I have always been taking care of myself with no help from family or friends. My husband and I have been through trials and tribulations with zero help. 4 moves, car accidents, surgeries, job losses.

This is the first time I ever felt like I wanted to be comforted by someone and unfortunately the person I want it from is my T.
If he can't do it -- have you considered a cancer caregivers support group for yourself? How about a home health aide to come cook and clean and sit with your husband. Even if you all have to pay out of pocket because your insurance won't consider it "necessary". Sounds to me like it kind of is but, oh, well.

I paid out of pocket for sitters the last few days of my husband's life here at home, in hospice, so I could get some other things done, and sleep. They were great. Very worth it.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 12:53 PM
  #107
Earlier on I contributed a brief entry to this thread where I spoke about my (finally) successful experience in therapy.

Reading through the subsequent entries this morning, it dawned upon me that I’d left out what led me to that therapy to begin with — the most awful, hideously painful experience with therapy through a major university. It was horrible. It was excrutiatingly painful. And though I tried for a time, there was no way I was going to be able to heal from that by myself

So what hapened? What HAD to happen? Just as the honorable Bud Fox has stated, I fell right into the arms of another therapist. Luckily she had a heart, and skills.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 02:45 PM
  #108
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Originally Posted by octoberful View Post
Offense is in the eye of the beholder. As a rape survivor, I think psychological rape is an appropriately analogy for what I once experienced in therapy. I mentioned what happened in another thread. While it's not my experience in therapy overall, a therapist penetrating my defenses and exposing the contents of my inner world--my dissociated parts--sure did feel like psychological rape. I did not consent to such an experience as I was seeking help for concentration difficulties.

The title of the thread "therapy is bs/wrong!" may clue people in that the thread may contain things that speak of therapy unpleasantries, so the act of coming to this thread or maintaining a pattern of coming to such threads may contribute to one's own reactions, which may include feeling offended.
Thank you for this!

I’m also not trying to belittle anyone else’s experience, compare traumas or trigger personal issues... but, as a a SA victim as well, I can say that therapy trauma has been more detrimental to my mental health and has taken me longer to recover from than the SA. It’s also eclipsed any trauma from my horrible childhood. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea why... it makes little sense... but I still feel powerless and deeply violated by my therapist a year after termination. This is just my personal experience. All I can hope at this point is that shedding light on the psychological consequences of ‘therapy gone wrong’ can help someone, somewhere. It is not anything I could have fathomed before experiencing it.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 02:49 PM
  #109
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Originally Posted by Mopey View Post
Earlier on I contributed a brief entry to this thread where I spoke about my (finally) successful experience in therapy.

Reading through the subsequent entries this morning, it dawned upon me that I’d left out what led me to that therapy to begin with — the most awful, hideously painful experience with therapy through a major university. It was horrible. It was excrutiatingly painful. And though I tried for a time, there was no way I was going to be able to heal from that by myself

So what hapened? What HAD to happen? Just as the honorable Bud Fox has stated, I fell right into the arms of another therapist. Luckily she had a heart, and skills.
I’m so sorry for what happened to you.

I’m really glad you found someone amazing to help you recover.

I’m genuinely happy for those therapy has helped and enjoy reading success stories.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 07:04 PM
  #110
I sometimes question my own logic for allowing myself to become so connected and trusting of my T knowing the theoretical limitations of the relationship. What I know is that despite those frustrations, if I did not have this relationship, I would still be in the darkest and most terrible place of my life. There is no doubt in my mind that the connection is not one-sided. She is herself in the room with me, and unlike past Ts, she does not just tell me things I need to hear and give me a perfect simulated environment. She does not pretend to know all the answers. She's the most authentic person in my life right now. Yes, we're limited to an hour a week. No, we don't and probably never will meet up for a beer. No, I don't and probably never will have the opportunity to reciprocate much of what I get from her. Yes, that's frustrating. But none of that makes what we have, the healing that is happening, the safety and love I feel fake or a set-up or anything else negative. I came to realize that when I become frustrated with her or the limitations, it's my own expectations not being met..and is it logical for me to have such expectations on a therapeutic relationship? No it is not. I'm glad you brought up this topic because this is something I realize I need to bring up with T.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 07:16 PM
  #111
Reading this, I feel my therapy is as useless as I feel it is. Note how I don't dare to say "my therapist is as useless as I think she is". I like her, but I do not love her, do not feel dependant on her, I mainly think she has a good business. Sitting, nodding, being well-balanced, supportive, and getting paid for it. I mainly talk about leaving her, stopping therapy, and after ranting for an hour I feel like staying again, then the session's up. I feel like not leaving. I make jokes, feel indeed like a total nuisance because I always outstay my welcome. I fantasize about whether she would call the police if I staid glued to my chair. I think I am a pain in the ***.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 08:30 PM
  #112
Two thoughts:

Not trying to be a jerk, but I dont think people in therapy should expect special privileges in terms of how other express themselves.

It's not uncommon for people to be traumatized by a therapist they went to for help with prior trauma. That is insane.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 09:08 PM
  #113
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Two thoughts:

Not trying to be a jerk, but I dont think people in therapy should expect special privileges in terms of how other express themselves.

It's not uncommon for people to be traumatized by a therapist they went to for help with prior trauma. That is insane.
Didnt expect special privileges just asked a question to see if others feel the same way...apparently few do..

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Default May 18, 2019 at 09:27 PM
  #114
Originally posted by Missbella:

It did NOT teach me more social ease or a sense of competence or equality, in fact, just the opposite. Relating to others like I did therapists--expecting comfort for all my suffering and sorrows--did not make me a friend magnet. For a while I lived in a therapy pseudo-world and lost important friends during that period.

MissBella, reading over all of the posts on this thread I came upon this of yours and it reminded me of something that happened with me. I too suffered socially, and years of therapy did little to help me. You know what did? Reading an etiquette book. And paying attention to how people in real life in my area interacted with each other.

I found out I simply I grew up without knowing any of the rules. I did't know any social norms, the ones that ease interaction between strangers and acquaintances. As a result I made many painful mistakes, without meaning to.

Just a thought.

Wishing you well.....
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Default May 19, 2019 at 03:48 AM
  #115
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I have been staying away from PC but I really was drawn to this thread and wanted to comment on your post.

I have not stopped caring. However, I've stepped back and looked at this differently (distance from therapy helped) and realized he no longer cares about me. I may be a random passing thought now and then but the money stopped, so did the real care I thought he had. I can't help that I think of him daily still and think of things I'd love to say or do for him all the time...just because.... but I have to put it in perspective. It's over.

I will hopefully get to a place I don't think of him much anymore.... and that I no longer care either. I will always love him though.

The best thing for me while I WAS in therapy, was to set my own boundaries. Try to focus on anything but him or therapy, it as hard at times but when I realized it was over taking my life, I had to. I felt like I was losing my sanity.

Going back to therapy was never something I wanted but I didn't know how to deal with the loss when it became too much but I was able to remain detached with 2 different T's and it was fantastic. Leaving therapy was easy this time. I didn't care about them in the slightest. I didn't feel cared about either, so it was a very different situation and it helped me.

I don't think it's wrong to care.... but just try to get some perspective on it all, the limits of it, how it's all different when the money stops, things like that. What helped me really shift was putting myself first..... realizing, my own sanity, my happiness, ME in general, was far more important than therapy or some man I paid to spend time with me.

I hope you are able to get to a place that works for you. It's not a bad topic to bring up in therapy. I do realize everyone is different and will see things differently or want things differently. Some still believe they care long after therapy is over and if that helps them get through the day, so be it. At the end of the day, I realized how much therapy took over my life and how much I needed to find myself again because I only have 1 shot at living my best life.

All the best to you.
Hi DP
I believe that we are on a similar time line in terms of loss of a therapist which we had a very “flexible” relationship with
The relationship itself was unmitigated hell in many ways because what happened in the room was so intensely personal at times on both sides and then just messaging/emails etc as physical presence had to be paid for(whether deferred or reduced or even not charged)emotionally
I too thought I was going insane and I recently went back in order to read my clinical records - that was a bizarre experience as the notes were extremely boring and contained NO mention of hugging/personal disclosures/outside contact/3 hr sessions etc but did mention the one time I passed a comment on his baggy misshapen jumper- transference apparently
I was stunned at this lack of honest appraisal of the relationship and it allowed me to finally realise that everything was and would be (2 year hold) on his terms - he admitted that during our last appointment he emotionally withdrew from me and I replied that it was cruel and undeserved and a few other more flavoured but very calmly delivered comments - this shocked him saying he had never heard these things to his face in 30 years and he proceeded to sit down next to me and talk normally for 3 hours !,- this has blown me apart again as I knew I absolutely have to walk away and NEVER go back as he holds all the cards and however much I want it I believe I couldn’t survive any more of it
Apologies for ramble just wanted to share this and say well done for gaining some perspective through the ongoing pain- I GET it
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Default May 19, 2019 at 06:14 AM
  #116
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Rather my therapists either promised, implied or allowed me to believe their methods would be transformative.

Therapy took me in exactly the wrong direction. It habituated subordination to false authority. It reinforced my fears that others had an it-factor, a life wisdom to which I couldn't possibly achieve. It encouraged my emotional striptease before those who exploited it. And it rewarded me for sorrows and victimhood.

It did NOT teach me more social ease or a sense of competence or equality, in fact, just the opposite. Relating to others like I did therapists--expecting comfort for all my suffering and sorrows--did not make me a friend magnet. For a while I lived in a therapy pseudo-world and lost important friends during that period.

But in all cases, therapy was regressive, destructive and absolutely wrong for me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I do think it important to monitor reactions and be aware therapy consumers.
since missbella directly and eloquently sums up the gist of much of what therapy was like for me, it saves me the arduous task of having to write my own long winded experince . thank you

but it's the few words she stated about being 'aware therapy consumers' that i can not agree more with. to me, this is such a powerful statement and i feel that as therapy consumers we should all be cognisant of this concept and not be fearful to empower ourselves and do what is right for us and our well being in regards to therapy and/or the relationship with our Ts.

there definilty is more i could write about this, but think i leave it at that since it's getting late for me.
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Default May 19, 2019 at 08:39 AM
  #117
Therapy is bs/wrong!

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Default May 19, 2019 at 09:14 AM
  #118
@Forgetmenot07 Seems to me like we get a choice between self-care, building own confidence in the future, digging deep for our own resources - and relying on someone else. I have friend with good insurance who have purchased the attention and care of great therapists. I myself have always had to choose between therapy and eating/ having a safe roof over my head. I did for a while live in an unsafe home and I saw a great therapist who helped me as a favour because she was terminally ill.

As I got older and my financial responsibilities increased, I tried out a number of increasingly rubbish therapists. The last male therapist was so super-expensive and so ridiculously-untactful that thank goodness I decided to take a good look at myself and to go it alone. Really some middle class therapists should be corralled into only dealing with people from their own cultural backgrounds: this guy told me that "after working with refugees" he knew "for sure" that no one could be tortured enough to entirely lose sight of who they are. I guess sitting in an armchair all day talking can get you that way!

It's been tough getting to know myself and going through crisis without therapy, but I've learned found a way and I have a couple of friends and neighbours who support and respect me for that.

Therapy is a historical construct - just like Twitter, Facebook, the Internet, it really got big during the 80's and 90's. I think that it's partly addictive because peer groups do therapy and like to discuss it together.

All this said with a smile, but also to point out that you have choices. I'm grateful for my wealthier friends who went through therapy and have learned a huge amount by hearing about their experiences. I'm thankful for the therapy insights around on the net, but it really is NOT the only way of healing, nor the only way of thinking about life's challenges.

Hugs your way!

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Default May 19, 2019 at 09:26 AM
  #119
Lol Sarahsweets - but the disadvantage of not doing therapy is that I only have myself to blame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Default May 19, 2019 at 11:07 AM
  #120
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Didnt expect special privileges just asked a question to see if others feel the same way...apparently few do..
I feel the same, but I have been mostly checked out of this discussion because it seems hostile, bullying, and pointless.

FWIW, though, I think the prostitution analogy doesn't work at all. Typically it is the prostitute who is exploited, not the client, and prostitutes are generally in far greater danger from clients than the other way around. So it does not make any sense to equate a therapist with a prostitute and then act as if the therapist is exploiting and endangering clients. And yes, I would find it offensive to be compared to a john, but the comparison just has zero validity for me, so whatever.
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