Scared of my Attachment

I am meeting with a new psychologist next week. She is one that I’ve been wanting to see for awhile, so I’ve been on her waiting list. She called me the other day for a consult and I can already tell by the way she looks (compassionate, wise, warm) and the sound of her voice that I’m going to grow attached. I actually already am as I find her voice message to me so comforting. I don’t know why I’ve grown so attached to her already before even meeting with her. I’ve seen a number of Ts and psychologists since ex T left and I haven’t grown attached to any of them. I’m scared this is a red flag for me, but I really do think this one will be qualified to help me given what she specializes in. Did anyone grow attached to their T right away... if you told them, how did you share it with them?

I've never instantly attached to anyone. In fact, with current T, I'm not attached as of yet, and I've been seeing her since August. With former T the attachment probably took 4 months or so. I did talk to former T about attachment, but we never really talked through it. She knew I was attached. I knew I was attached. And that is where it was left. I don't think attachment is always bad. It just can hurt a lot at times. Are you able to deal with that? HUGS Kit

I don't use the word "attached." I've never found it really described my relationships with my therapists, at least not in the negatively connotated context that gets used here all the time.

I did know pretty immediately that my good therapists were going to good to work with. I liked their personalities. They tuned in to things about me right away that demonstrated that they "got me" and I felt assured therapy was going to be productive. Was that attachment? Perhaps, but that word doesn't mean much to me. It was just a sense that we seemed to gel with each other easily.

As I worked with them, those initial perceptions were confirmed, and my feelings for them simply grew as the relationship grew. I still don't really think of that as attachment as much as just positive relationship. I suppose that would be described as a secure attachment because it was never something I was afraid of, shied away from, avoided, feared the loss of, etc.

It sounds like this therapist has positive qualities. I hope it works well for you.

One element of this is that these intense feelings speak to something going on inside you, and are not about her. They are only triggered by her. I hope she is exceptionally well trained and helpful to you.

I kind of warned my current T that I was strongly attached to ex-marriage counselor and had a tendency to attach to male authority figures. I think he still may have been a little surprised when I attached to him relatively quickly, but he also accepted it (though there were a few bumps in the road along the way), and now he seems to be dealing really well with the attachment. As for how I shared it...OK, looking back, a few months in, I sent him the following in an email: "I've felt pretty connected to you the past few sessions, which in some ways is a good thing. But it also scares me because I'm really worried about getting attached to you. If that happens, that's something we can work through together, right?" And he replied that he figured attachment would be a big part of our work together, and we discussed it the next session. And it's something that's come up multiple times. He seems to accept it as part of doing business with me. And that it's not about him in particular, but my own attachment issues going back to childhood. So I feel it's best to address it early on?

Thanks for the input everyone. I am feeling a bit anxious about how much I should tell her right off the bat. I really don’t want to scare her away too, and even though I know I need to tell her about Ex T and how things ended, I feel like I need to be “strategic” in how and when I share it with her. I always feel like I need them to get to know me first and see my heart in order to understand why I did those things, before telling them what happened.