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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,797
12 3,129 hugs
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#1
I would do a poll, but there are so many options that is a little overwhelming.
Immediately after a session, I will journal as much as possible about what I remember from the conversation, and reflect on it later. Other than that, I tend to feel quite disconnected from myself and need to numb out, if we've gone into something deep. How do you manage self-care after a session, whether an 'ordinary' session, or something deeper? Does it differ, depending on the content? __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
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#2
I am scheduled to go to my churches adoration chapel directly after my appointment time every week. For me it is a perfect way to breath and be be in my safe haven.
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LostOnTheTrail
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LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,763
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#3
One positive thing I frequently do is message with a friend or two (sometimes in my car in the parking lot). It can help me process what happened, sometimes give me another perspective if I'm bothered by something T said. I often will post on here, though I've learned it can be better to hold off on posting about the full session until I've had time to process it myself and decide how I feel about it.
This is not the healthiest thing, but I'll often have a beer or two. If it was a particularly difficult session, I'll often do that at a local restaurant or taproom, so that I'm out among people. It serves as a sort of reward for getting through session, and I often worry if I go home, I'll just curl up on the couch and cry. I sometimes bring my laptop with me and do work while I'm out, which I might have had more trouble doing at home. Sometimes I'll go to a coffee shop instead or run an errand or two. ETA: I'm more likely to go out if H is working from home, because I like having what I considered to be "mental space" after a session. I'll often be sort of glazed over, lost in thought, and I don't necessarily want H to notice or be asking about it, though he doesn't usually ask--I'll sometimes say had a tough/intense session, so might be a little spaced out, and he'll say OK. Other things include listening to music, writing a few notes about session, sometimes composing an email to T that I may or may not send (I often try to wait until the next morning to see if I still feel the need to reach out). Occasionally I might hold the transitional object (stone) I have from him. The next day, sometimes a yoga class or a walk outside. |
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LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 189
4 111 hugs
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#4
I sometimes have a hot drink (e.g. hot chocolate, tea) since I find that relaxing/soothing. Or when I get home, I take a shower and then a nap. I tend to feel worn out for the rest of the day after a session.
__________________ I like deer with their stick legs and stick antlers |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#5
I'm frequently worn out after a session so I will sometimes take a nap, or if it is an evening session just come home and go to bed. I try typically to be extra gentle with myself for a day or two until I feel back to myself (I get dissociated frequently in session) and will do things like wrap up in a blanket and snuggle with my kitties, or I will use fancy lotions and try to treat my skin nicely (since I SH). With former T I used to email her at some point after the session and that was very helpful. Current T doesn't do that, so I write up the session here on PC, or I journal. Sometimes I just walk around in a fog. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
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#6
I go back to work/lab. It's definitely not what I want to do, but it is what's best for me.
It's in the evening so there aren't as many people around and I'd never schedule a therapy session on a day I'd have to teach/have office hours/have to be "put together" for some other reason after. Usually I leave therapy feeling somewhat emotional and vulnerable, but by the time I get back to the office I want to punch and throw and slam things, probably a reaction to feeling vulnerable. Most of the people who I work with who are still around that late in the evening are kind of aware of the fact that I'm pissed off when I get back from therapy, or at least that I put my headphones in and am not in the mood to joke around. I manage to avoid actually throwing things, but I've been known to be rougher with things than I need to be lol. I don't take it out on other people, but the poor yeast get vortexed and pipetted more aggressively than usual. But after an hour or two of focusing on bench work keeping my hands busy and mind occupied I'm generally calmer. It's better than going home and being alone and wanting to throw things. The few times I really couldn't handle going back to lab I just went home, but I usually end up feeling worse when I do that. It also helps keep me safe. I often have pretty intense urges to SH after therapy, but the urge usually passes by the time I leave lab. |
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Anonymous45127, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 365 hugs
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#7
I am so sad after session most the time as being with him reminds me of the grief and loss I feel everyday for never having a loving parent. I have no self care except continue on with life. I usually go home and start preparing dinner or do chores.
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
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Anonymous45127, Poiuytl
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 466
6 |
#8
I almost always try to take a walk after therapy--5-10 minutes if that's all I have time or energy for, or ideally more like 30+ minutes if I can. A longer walk is particularly essential if the session has been on the difficult side. It helps tremendously to burn off a bit of any lingering excess agitation, and process whatever feelings I left off with, to get to the point where I can deal with people again.
After a walk... If I have more flexibility, sometimes I'll go to a favorite coffee shop and sit there writing or drawing for a bit. After the most difficult sessions, sometimes I'm extremely exhausted and will need to hole up at home and maybe take a nap, if possible. Often I have to head back to work and bury myself in that regardless, which isn't exactly self-care but works out fine in most cases. If it was a difficult session and I wasn't able to take much time immediately afterwards, I'll sometimes try to block off some time to write and reflect once I'm finished with work. But most of the time in that case I'm pretty spent after work is finally over. |
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Magnet
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: in the garden
Posts: 2,309
6 15.5k hugs
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#9
Ideally, I come home and work in the garden, but that depends on weather, season, schedule. It's grounding for me (literally).
No matter the schedule, I do try to carve out space at some point in the afternoon or evening to sit and think quietly, even if it's just leaving early to pick up my kid and sitting in the parking lot of the ballet studio. I also try to go to bed early. I tend to wake the next day having processed and integrated some of the session, and then I try to write it down in my journal or talk to a friend about some of what I might need to continue to explore. __________________ Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine) |
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