advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
 
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6
144 hugs
given
Trig May 26, 2019 at 03:39 PM
  #1
I never know what is normal or creepy when it comes to my father. Only that things feel creepy. So I am visiting my father this weekend like I do most of the time. He is living to go gamble and I do not wish to be a part of it. So he asked if I was mad because last time I got pissed because he lives paycheck to paycheck and only gets made once a month and its very little but yet he goes gambling and expects people to feel bad he doesnt have any groceries. Anyway so I am cooking some spaghetti and he gets a drink out of the fridge then says are you mad and I said no and he kissed my neck. My not just kiss my head or hug me. He is freaky. If I told my mom she would freak and tell me to call my therapist.
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949, LonesomeTonight, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky

advertisement
Xynesthesia2
Veteran Member
 
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 540
5
55 hugs
given
Default May 26, 2019 at 03:45 PM
  #2
That would definitely be creepy for me and I would tell him straight away.
Xynesthesia2 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Rive1976
chihirochild
Magnate
 
chihirochild's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7
4,865 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 26, 2019 at 03:57 PM
  #3
^agreed :/
chihirochild is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Rive1976
missbella
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,845
13
814 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 26, 2019 at 03:59 PM
  #4
I wouldn't want anyone kissing my neck outside of a romantic context.

I know it can be difficult to draw boundaries with a parent who won't respect them; I got nowhere with mine. If he won't respect "no" or the conversation is impossible, I hope there's someone to help or intervene.
missbella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Rive1976
Lemoncake
Luna's offical mini me.
 
Lemoncake's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,684 (SuperPoster!)
6
10.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 26, 2019 at 04:06 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
I never know what is normal or creepy when it comes to my father. Only that things feel creepy. So I am visiting my father this weekend like I do most of the time. He is living to go gamble and I do not wish to be a part of it. So he asked if I was mad because last time I got pissed because he lives paycheck to paycheck and only gets made once a month and its very little but yet he goes gambling and expects people to feel bad he doesnt have any groceries. Anyway so I am cooking some spaghetti and he gets a drink out of the fridge then says are you mad and I said no and he kissed my neck. My not just kiss my head or hug me. He is freaky. If I told my mom she would freak and tell me to call my therapist.
From a husband/boyfriend I'd see it as okay, but this is not okay from a father.

__________________
"Love, like life, flows
Through the heart.
Feel the thrill of the flow
And say nothing."

Lemoncake is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Rive1976
Iloivar
Member
 
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 210
5
2 hugs
given
Default May 27, 2019 at 01:34 AM
  #6
If you'd like to share, what else does he do that makes you uncomfortable? Does it feel deliberate on his part? Or perhaps he's unintentionally creepy.

If you want, you can let him know when he does something that makes you uncomfortable. His reaction and whether he oversteps your boundaries despite you asserting them could give you insight into his character. If he continues afterwards, perhaps its something you can with confide your mom about.
Iloivar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Rive1976
Anonymous45634
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default May 27, 2019 at 11:54 AM
  #7
doesn't really matter what people here say (but I understand why you are asking)

DID IT FEEL CREEPY TO YOU?
DID IT FEEL OUT OF PLACE?
THEN IT WAS OUT OF PLACE AND NOT NORMAL. TRUST YOUR GUT. ALWAYS.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes, Rive1976
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
 
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,106 (SuperPoster!)
13
21.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 27, 2019 at 12:16 PM
  #8
Your father has a gambling addiction and everyone around him are choosing to ignore it. There is a term for this too, it's called "enablers". If you did see a therapist this is what you would learn and that yes what you are experiencing is creepy/unhealthy and no one is willing to say anything either. Your father needs to recognize HE has a problem and decide to fix it.
Open Eyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Rive1976
Anonymous44076
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default May 27, 2019 at 02:07 PM
  #9
Have you told your father not to kiss your neck? If you feel uncomfortable, then yes it is a problem. Because you have a right to feel safe and comfortable regardless of what others' intentions may or may not be.

First, you can tell the individual (father or anyone else who crosses a line) it's not okay.

Second, remind/mark the boundary one more time if necessary.

Third, if they continue to cross the line I would no longer spend time with them because they appear unwilling to respect your clearly marked boundaries.

My above three steps would not apply to criminal acts...those need to be reported to the police and safe distance is the immediate priority.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Rive1976
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
 
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6
144 hugs
given
Default May 27, 2019 at 03:32 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTrees View Post
Have you told your father not to kiss your neck? If you feel uncomfortable, then yes it is a problem. Because you have a right to feel safe and comfortable regardless of what others' intentions may or may not be.

First, you can tell the individual (father or anyone else who crosses a line) it's not okay.

Second, remind/mark the boundary one more time if necessary.

Third, if they continue to cross the line I would no longer spend time with them because they appear unwilling to respect your clearly marked boundaries.

My above three steps would not apply to criminal acts...those need to be reported to the police and safe distance is the immediate priority.
Even though it creeps me out I have not said anything to him about the stuff he does. 1) because I dont think he thinks its creepy so I dont want to hurt him because I love him 2) because I dont want to piss him off because I am scared it would turn violent. I know he was sexually violent with my mother and also just because I dont want him mad at me. I live in a group home that has 90 people there. Alot of them have major issues. I like to get away as much as I can.
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
Reply
attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.

Thread Tools
Display Modes



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:22 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.