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Amyjay
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Default May 27, 2019 at 01:31 AM
  #21
No, I do not see my T as an authority figure at all. If any T I saw did so I would dump them pretty quickly. I am not looking for an authority figure.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 02:39 AM
  #22
I do, because that’s what I am looking for. He’s pretty much the same age as me, and yet is currently fulfilling a paternal role in my head.
We’ve talked about it, and we’re working it through. It’s been fascinating to see the dynamics I create in relationships. I have some world class projection skills!
He doesn’t want us to have this dynamic forever, but has made me feel that it’s fine and safe if it is what I need right now.
Ultimately, I’d like us to be two equal adults in the room together, but it’s hard when I feel so emotionally young most of the time.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 04:30 AM
  #23
I fall into the pattern of seeing any person with professional knowledge as an authority figure, even when I don't want to view them in that way. This is the case with my T, even though we're working together and she's not 'telling me what to do' - like a teacher, boss or parent would. I have some emotional baggage about authority figures so it's a bit of a pain.

Edit: I also see my T as a guide, someone who can help me make healthy changes to my behaviours, emotional management and thought patterns.

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Default May 27, 2019 at 04:37 AM
  #24
My T does not present himself having authority over me. The authority feeling comes from with in me, comes from my damaged brain of being emotionally abused and neglected as a child starting from age 0. Since I have parental transference and most my part are young then of course he is seen as an authority figure as children see adults as authority figures. Any T can take authority over you if they think you are a danger to yourself or others.

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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 05:31 AM
  #25
I viewed the therapists according to a social role that they functioned in, as I saw it. And that role had authority. They were being paid for a professional service, even if I didn't always know what that was (and felt that I didn't have to, as well as couldn't since I didn't have the education and training, even though I did do some of my own research, trying to learn something to help myself), and were licensed by the state, a social authority.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 05:48 AM
  #26
I definitely see my T as an authority figure. He is the same sort of age as my parents so it's the sort of authority that comes with someone who is older and has experienced more in life.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 06:19 AM
  #27
No I don't. He has a way of holding me accountable, but that comes from a place of investing in my well being and working towards mutual goals rather than from a place of authority. He helps make sure I see the truth of things. Investing being terminology used by some Ts that means a desire to help and work with me rather than a disinterested guy taking my money who can't wait until I leave. Basically positive transference.

With my paternal transference, he often represents my father which casts him in a sort of authoritative role. This felt good to me because it makes me feel safe and cared about as I had no real parenting growing up and ran wild.

He never outlined 'rules' of engagement as some therapists do. I doubt I would work with those types of therapists and it seems more silly or entitled. It would make more sense if the client had such rules since the client is hiring the T. Hypothetical example-I will not answer questions about the existence of suicidal thoughts.

Last edited by Anonymous56789; May 27, 2019 at 06:41 AM..
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Default May 27, 2019 at 06:29 AM
  #28
No. He has no right to investment in any aspect of my life. He's not an authority on me or anything I do.

Authority and power of course are two different things, and he does hold power in the relationship. Those are more inherent relational dynamics, resulting from 1) the strength of my feelings towards him and 2) his literal power to screw me over if he were unethical, which he isn't.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 07:42 AM
  #29
I don't see my T, or any of the others I've worked with, as an authority figure like I did when I was in school with teachers and professors. I don't see him as an authority figure like I do with the cops and correctional officers and judges and some lawyers in the work that I do, although perhaps it would be more accurate to say that they have power over me to put me in jail and I have to do what they say when they give a "direct order." I have learned to be extremely compliant, even meek, in interpersonal interaction with these kinds of folks to do the kind of work I do (not so with the actual work per se, just in moving about the legal world).

He is an authority on therapy, though, and I give him the authority that comes with schooling and experience like I do my doctor or dentist. I also think he has a more objective perspective on myself than I sometimes do, in the same way that my loved ones can sometimes see the truth of something if our personal relationship doesn't get in the way. So I allow myself to consider his perspective as I do others in my life. What he does best in my therapy is both to be an "authority" figure (he has an excellent grasp of trauma and especially the brain-based connections and I appreciate learning from him) and to be just a real person, connecting to me in my struggles to make a better life for myself.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 10:08 AM
  #30
No. He doesn't tell me what to do and if he tried, I wouldn't go along with it.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 10:27 AM
  #31
I think the most public view of authority worship is Dr. Phil. Though one might argue the Tee-Vee (sic) elevates him as much as his scornful bombast as the guy with the answers.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 11:54 AM
  #32
I do not because she doesnt act like that. However I have DID and some of the young inside kids see her as their teacher, so some of them do act like she is an authority and she uses that to help them.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 03:43 PM
  #33
No, but I have a tendency to feel threatened by authority figures so therapy with an authoritarian type wouldn’t have lasted long.

Even still, she wielded enormous emotional power over me. She represented ‘the source’ of validation, nurturing and attention. A perfect, benevolent mother figure. Until she wasn’t.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 03:49 PM
  #34
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Originally Posted by PurpleMirrors3 View Post
No, but I have a tendency to feel threatened by authority figures so therapy with an authoritarian type wouldn’t have lasted long.

Even still, she wielded enormous emotional power over me. She represented ‘the source’ of validation, nurturing and attention. A perfect, benevolent mother figure. Until she wasn’t.

Sorry, PM. I experienced some parallels, though it took me hindsight to realize my benevolent mother was a performance rather than a person.

But yes, I think looking to a single source for validation, nurturing and attention makes them an authority figures. I likely studied faces after every sentence to assess their reactions to what I just said.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 04:35 PM
  #35
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Sorry, PM. I experienced some parallels, though it took me hindsight to realize my benevolent mother was a performance rather than a person.

But yes, I think looking to a single source for validation, nurturing and attention makes them an authority figures. I likely studied faces after every sentence to assess their reactions to what I just said.
I suppose you are correct. When someone else holds the power to ruin your week with a raised eyebrow or a dismissive comment, you know you’re in big, big trouble.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 04:57 PM
  #36
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I suppose you are correct. When someone else holds the power to ruin your week with a raised eyebrow or a dismissive comment, you know you’re in big, big trouble.

Absolutely. It took me a long time to learn this lesson. PS. I still can have this tendency.
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Default May 28, 2019 at 08:42 PM
  #37
No, I don't. I think she has some extra education into the human psyche, but does not an expert make. I feel like we are both bumbling around in my brain, trying to figure out what works, or doesn't.
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Default May 29, 2019 at 10:45 AM
  #38
Yes, definitely with Former T and to an extent with Current T. Although Current T is more open about not having all the answers but she is very confident that we can figure it out.

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Default May 29, 2019 at 12:24 PM
  #39
Authority on what exactly? Maybe I'm being dense, but I don't get it. I go to therapy to talk about me and my issues, and the therapist isn't the authority on that. I guess she has lots of experience in certain areas that I value, but that doesn't translate to authority to me because everybody is different, and there is no certainty that her experience with others is always relevant to me.

The therapist does not typically present herself as an authority. She frequently admits she doesn't know things, says she's not sure how to respond, and reminds me that I know better than she does when it comes to myself. The only thing I can think of where she really draws a hard line that could be interpreted as acting as an authority is when she names things as abuse. In this area, my thoughts are so very distorted that I would look to most other people as more authoritative than myself on the subject - so it's not really the fact that she's a therapist that I allow her a position of authority in this one area.

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Default May 29, 2019 at 01:17 PM
  #40
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Authority on what exactly? Maybe I'm being dense, but I don't get it. I go to therapy to talk about me and my issues, and the therapist isn't the authority on that. I guess she has lots of experience in certain areas that I value, but that doesn't translate to authority to me because everybody is different, and there is no certainty that her experience with others is always relevant to me.

My therapists staged performances, pretending to understand and interpret my life for me. They insisted on their narrative even when I disagreed. I didn't recognize the folly until much later when I realized they were faking an omniscience no human possesses.
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