Feeling like T doesn’t care

I think Hope mentioned that she has BPD. I think she went as far as buying a book on DBT and reading parts of it. I don't remember if she tried out any DBT groups. But, she mentioned somewhere that she has a BPD diagnosis along with OCD and something else.

I’m not diagnosed with BPD or OCD.

And my T is extremely competent.

It’s that I’m under excessive stress and only my T knows why because he’s the only one who I’ve talked to about it.

Sorry, I must have gotten you mixed up with another poster. Sorry for the mistake.

I feel that diagnosing people on here when they haven't asked for an armchair diagnosis is not the most supportive thing to do.

Hope, I'm sorry you're struggling and I hope you get some relief soon.

I totally agree with NP Complete. Hope is looking for support from this forum, not an armchair diagnosis. Hope, I just want you to know that I have been following your story and I respect your struggles. I also think you seem like a warm, kind person who helps your family out a lot. I think you just need to feel heard, everybody does! Hang in there. I think things will get better for you. This is my first post but I felt it was important to let you know that you are important and valued and you seem like a good person.

I DID NOT diagnose her! I had said that I got her mixed up with another poster. Another person stated that she had OCD and BPD. But, I really thought she SAID that in another post. I have been a lurker for a long time.

I wasn't necessarily responding to your comment, but previous comments. You did, however, jump on board with the sentiment in those comments even if you did confuse Hope with another poster. All I'm asking is can we support Hope, not comment on potential or perceived diagnoses when she didn't ask for that.

I don’t think we should diagnose anyone on here and I also dare to say diagnosis isn’t important.

Saying that, when I had recurring patterns and had hard time breaking them, I asked therapist to help me break this pattern. Mine was helpful.

Have you asked your therapist to help you break this pattern of intense desire to have personal relationships with medical professionals, devastation when they decline, ending it, then going to a new person, repeat the same pattern. It can’t be easy.

Did any of professionals you work with ever help you to break this pattern? It sounds to me that they are failing you. You aren’t getting the help you need. They take your money but where is the help if the pattern never changes? I’d be mad at all these therapists. I’d expect more improvement

You can't make a diagnosis or a diagnostic impression if one is not a mental health professional. Even if we were mental health professionals, we couldn't suggest a diagnosis unless we are actually seeing the patient.

I just thought SHE HAD said she was BPD from a prior post. I got her mixed up with another poster. So I apologized for it. So, I was not diagnosing anyone.

Gosh all I did was suggest a diagnosis because Id seen other people, once they DID get the right diagnosis and worked through resistance to it- be able to participate in therapy that was more appropriate to their condition.

Its not like Im just sitting here calling people names or anything- I never said I was a doctor. I just know lots of people with similar, and actually less overt patterns of behavior who have this diagnosis and were finally able to really get the help they needed. Its a very common diagnosis that effects like 4% of the population, and very treatable if a person is open to that. But one of the biggest things about personality disorders that makes them personality disorders is generally the inability to recognize your behavior as the problem and instead looking outwards and... this just causing lots of rinse and repeat problems.

Anyways. Im not trying to be mean, and Im really not trying to make this about myself, but if someone makes posts then its only natural to speculate and if you have a suggestion that might help... why is it so awful to give it. Why do people need to be agreed with 100% of the time for it to be counted as “support”? That just seems like enabling. Which actually seems crueler when you see someone with patterns of behavior that frequently cause them pain.

Anyways. I dont fully get this site and I dont think its for me. Im a member of other sites, support sites, where its more than just hugging each other all the time and refusing to EVER challenge anyone about anything. Im a member of several support groups too where actually having an opinion on things, which allows further connection than you can get by just blanket agreement, is encouraged.

Anyways. This site isnt for me I dont think. But best of luck to everyone else on it. Im just not pleasant enough I guess to be comfortable here

UnderOver,

I wasn't referring to any of your comments. In fact, I agree with your posts. I was just disagreeing with NP Complete. I was letting he/she know that I know that we can't diagnose. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

I didn't think you were diagnosing. I think you were just saying that she seems to have BPD traits.

My current T has a good grasp on what I’m struggling with but since I’m actually in session with him, he knows about everything that I’m struggling with.

I trust him and it’s upsetting to me to have people suggesting a diagnosis and saying that my T can’t help me.

I can imagine that the T does not know when you genuinely need help with his expertise and when more just want attention outside of session, especially if you don't even go to session. I do think it is kinda irresponsible of a doctor not to respond when a patient has issues with medications they had prescribed, but you do have a pattern with overwhelming people that are supposed to provide professional service with things that are outside of the scope of that service. So no surprise they stop responding and even listening to it. You could probably be met with more supportive and helpful attitude if you focused on getting the most out of the formal sessions and somehow resist outside contact. I definitely know this from personal experience - I tend to pay attention to people who contact me all the time, especially with things that are not relevant to our relationship, and I also received that loss of interest/response when I overdid it myself.

My doctor got me in early to help with the med problem and we changed it.

He thinks that was caused by increasing the medicine too fast.

Can you make an ongoing list of things that T/ Dr does to show he cares about you. I often think T doesnt care or that I am to much for her, etc. I am thinking about making a list of each time she says she cares or doesnt something that I perceive as caring. I wonder if it would help you also.

Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth! Especially about the enabling. I am done too especially with this topic.

I feel like he cares.

The recent problems seem to be connected to med changes.

I have a lot of respect for my pdoc/T and he seems extremely aware of things.

Last time, we talked about feeling connected. He wants to help me be able to identify my emotions and be in touch with how I feel in sessions so I can know if I start to feel disconnected.

He is an extremely competent doctor and seems to genuinely care about his patients.

I didn’t mean to cause disagreements on here.

I don't see the logic in assuming that OP is not picking up on some legitimate falseness in the nature of the therapist's caring.

I had these feelings, and rightfully so... it's a contrived relationship.

People constantly question therapist authenticity. Those doubts are pointing to something real. The elephant in the room. I found it helpful to look at that.

Even if someone has a particular pattern, doesn't mean therapy isn't also a problem. It's not binary..

See you are against therapy and the therapeutic relationship because of what you suffered through. So to you all therapy relationships are bad; therefore, your stance would not be objective.