[spooniestrong]

Hi,
I've read others' posts here for some time, but this is my first time posting. I struggle primarily with depression and anxiety for the past 10 years, but I've made some incredible progress esp. thanks to my incredible therapist. We really work well together and she has been a big support in my life.

I've made some big changes this year in order to stay healthy, but it's been hard and I'm still seeking stability and support. I am at my third job this year, I left my church of 5 years because I didn't feel safe with COVID, my relationship with my family has become increasingly strained and they are no longer a support. I do have a small group and I'm working on finding a new church, but it is a process.

Tuesday, my therapist told me, as of January, she is taking a three month break for her own mental health. It was a huge shock; we have never been apart more than 2 weeks in these 10 years. I will be working with her colleague, who I've seen before. She is okay, but it's definitely not the same. I want my T to feel well enough to work, but my heart is broken. I'm terrified of going 3 months without her, esp. since I'm not in a great place myself. My fears of abandonment are being triggered. I don't trust she'll actually come back, and I know things won't be the same, it will take awhile to get back to a good place when she comes back.

Tuesday is supposed to be our last session before her break, and I don't know what to do. I'm tempted to skip; I don't know if it will just be harder to go or what we would talk about.

Support, ideas, and encouragement appreciated. TIA

[CANDC]

Hi @spooniestrong welcome to MSF My Support Forums. I am sorry you are going to have an unplanned break from your therapist.

A lot of churches have Zoom or Facebook virtual services so you may want to check that out with your church or another.

Personally if I had had a long relationship with a therapist and I had one more chance to have a session before their break, I would take that opportunity and make the most of it.

Hope you get the support you are looking for. @CANDC

[Yaowen]

I am so sorry that you in the situation you describe with your therapist. Wish I knew what to say that would help. I faced a similar situation many years ago and it was distressing.

[Omers]

Hi and welcome... I am a bit flitty... I come and go around here. I haven't been on lately but have been coming and going almost as long as these forums have been here (waaay back when I had a different name but...) ANYWAY... Wow... I almost felt like I could have written your post (OK, I was actually starting to think I might have lost time and written it). I left my church before COVID but when they went virtual I was able to connect again and loved it... but that came to an end The beginning of this year (I was very close to the pastor and he retired). Family is toxic and staying connected to friends has seemed impossible... but the clencher....
I see my T Monday and then he is gone for three months as well. I ALMOST posted last night but never hit the submit button... maybe I should have... anyway. I refer to him as Awesome T because he has just been a life saver for me. I also work with art T but we struggle...A LOT.
I would suggest going to your session today and not adding another week onto how long T is going to be gone.
I am the artsy crafty type so I am coming up with a special project for while T is gone. I can work on it during what would be our session times and when I am really missing him.
Please know you are not alone, there are others that have T's taking long and VERY long breaks especially this time of year.

[spooniestrong]

Thanks for the warm welcome and support! I love the idea about doing art to help cope; I crochet.

I do think I will go on Tuesday. I am still dealing with a lot of hurt and anger, though I know it's illogical. We all deserve a break to be well and function at our best.

Any ideas of how to spend this last session before the break? I obviously want to keep it light, and I think it's worth it, but I know it's going to be painful.

Thank you all <3 Much love and hugs

[SprinkL3]

I'd honestly consider just transferring to a different T altogether. It was unethical for her to disclose her mental health issues that warranted her 3-month leave.

[SprinkL3]

For the unsafe church issue, many churches will offer online services as a form of inclusivity for their high-risk congregation members. Search out those churches, in particular, ones that don't force you to meet in person. There are many non-denominational Christian churches, as well as some denominational churches (such as certain Vineyards and Calvary Chapels) that offer online services. If you are Catholic, there are a few Catholic churches that also offer online services. If you are any of the other denominations, it might be tough for you to find online services, since they might be more prone to faith-based meetings in person instead. You can always find a guilt-free church to attend online or outside, if they have any that safely hold their services outside (without tents) so that the fresh air can ameliorate viral spread. You can also call the church and ask them some questions you've outlined in advance to see if that church fits what your spiritual needs are.

I'm now agnostic, but I used to attend various churches across my lifespan. I decided to just do my spirituality on my own, but that's just me. But if you feel that church is too much, you can also decide to do your own spiritual sabbatical on your own. You can, instead, enroll in online theology or religion courses, which might be another alternative. My preference these days are theology and/or religious courses in academia, instead of attending a religious institution. It's also fun and safe.

[sarahsweets]

No offense but she should keep her reasons for a break to herself. It doesnt matter if she's going to go climb Mt Everest or is having mental issues. Not your business or problem.

[Just42dayK]

It can be tough when our therapists go away. I have a challenging time as well. 3 months, hang in there! I encourage you to post so that others may be able to provide support and understanding to you.

I see how it could be thought that it's right for a therapist to not tell you the real reason they left. If my long term therapist suddenly stopped seeing me for 3 months he too would tell me the real reason why. I think it's ok and even helpful to share this especially with abandonment issues.

Your therapist being gone for 3 months sounds tough. Knowing they are taking care of their health and not on some poorly planned vacation may be helpful to know. While admittingly regardless of the reason for their absence, it can be challenging.

Did you go Tuesday?I am curious how'd it go and how are you? Wishing you well during this time.

[Rive.]

Not to minimise what you are feeling but many things can happen in the meantime.

And who knows, maybe you will like substitute T better and even if T were to come back, you may not want to go back to 'old' T.

[*Beth*]

How are you doing?