Zoning out in session

I have only had a couple of sessions so far but I have noticed that I sometimes find it difficult to stay focused/present and I’m not sure what’s going on.

I don’t sit directly in front of the therapist, I sit facing a wall and they sit in front and to the side of me so I can kind of see them in my peripheral vision or I have to turn my head to look at them directly.

When he’s talking I often find myself starring at the wall then my eyes start to go unfocused so everything appears out of focus/blurry and I guess I don’t feel much emotions at this point either. I do however feel anxiety/unease in my chest/stomach and sometimes tingling that spreads over my whole body prior and during this happening. It’s a really weird sort of zoned out/slightly spaced out feeling.

I am still aware a bit of what’s going on, like I know I’ve zoned out but I kind of feel like I'm stuck (kind of like in a trance state I guess) and I can hear him talking but I don’t think I really take in why he’s actually saying. I also notice him in my peripheral vision sometimes leaning round/forward as if to try and see what I’m looking at maybe or catch my eye. I don’t know but for some reason when I notice that it makes me really anxious as it seems like he’s looking at me suspiciously/wondering what I’m doing or maybe he’s wanting me to make eye contact again... (perhaps a bad way to put it but that’s kind of how it feels). When I notice him in my peripheral vision I kind or come out of it and will look at him for a few seconds if I can (I don’t make loads of eye contact as I find it difficult).

It happened a LOT last time (easily 10+ times). Almost each time I looked away from him I was zoning out again and I was having to really try and keep my eyes focused/moving to stop it from happening.

I don’t really understand why I can’t stay focused as I don’t think I have this problem in other areas of my life. I’m wondering if this is just me trying to block out things I don’t want to feel.

Either way it’s making me really uncomfortable because its weird to me that it happens in a split second and that I feel a bit out of touch when it happens.

When I left last session I felt dizzy, a little disconnected/on autopilot and my legs were like jelly for a good while afterwards which wasn’t great as I had to walk to town (not sure if this is related).

I feel like if it keeps happening it’s really going to affect the sessions.

Does this happen to anyone else and if so do you have any tips on staying in the session and not zoning out constantly?

What you describe sounds very much like much of my therapy. For me, this was a type of dissociation, a coping mechanism I had developed in childhood to disconnect from things that were frightening to me. As an adult, it wasn't a particularly healthy coping mechanism, and was particularly a problem in therapy where the topics and discussions where so focused on the most intimate and traumatic aspects of my life.

Your therapist is just getting to know you, and is learning your general affect, your responses to stressors, and will probably address the zoning at eventually. You aren't doing anything wrong, and therapists see this pretty frequently.

If you can bring it up to your therapist, he should be able to help you understand what is happening and work with you on grounding techniques when you and/or he realize it is happening. Over time, I did become better at staying more present, but it takes time to be able to do that.

When my therapist saw this happening, he did a variety of things depending on how bad it was. I remember
1. Him opening or closing the window blinds. I think he was moving in the room to change my focus, and the blind change often was when I was staring at the window (there was a personal story behind this that he knew about me that was associated with this).
2. Sometimes he just called my name and asked me to look at him. It wasn't so much about eye contact as it was in changing my focus.
3. He would stop and have me name concrete objects in the room to get me grounded.
4. He would have me stand up or move to a different chair.
5. Breathing. I tended to hold my breath when I was like that. He worked with me to just get me breathing regularly and deeply.

Sometimes the dissociation was much more severe than that, and the techniques might be more interventional, but most of the time he was very cognizant of my dissociation and careful to keep me as grounded as possible.

This sounds like dissociation to me as well. It is something that I deal with in session, and in life. One thing for me is to press my feet firmly against the ground and let myself feel that connection to the ground. It reminds me that I'm here, I'm in the present, and I'm currently safe. I do suggest talking to T so that T can help find ways with you that will help you not get triggered and thus go into dissociation and what to do when it does happen. I used to tell T, I'm getting dissociated, or she would ask me and I would tell her that I was dissociated. After a while she could tell, but I don't think she could tell at the beginning. HUGS Kit

Thanks for replying and sharing your experiences Artley, it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

I’m going to go to the next appointment and try and make an effort to make and maintain eye contact to see if that might help.

He hasn’t said anything about the zoning out yet if that’s what it is. He did tell me about grounding techniques in relation to flashbacks.

It’s good that you are able to stay more present now, I hope I will be able to do that so I feel more present and part of the process rather than a half asleep bystander.

Thanks SlumberKitty for replying.

I always cross my legs at the appointment and when it happens I feel like I’m stuck and can’t move so I’m not sure if I could actually
Move and put my feet on the floor but I could try. It’s good that you have found something that helps you, I’m hoping I can figure out how I can stop doing it too.

I can’t really remember what we were talking about but it happened in the second half of the session. He did say did I want to talk about the trauma I mentioned at the first appointment (we haven’t spoken about it at all yet) but I can’t remember if it started getting bad before or after he said that.

It sounds like you and your t have a great relationship and she really helps you in sessions. Hopefully I can start working on it and staying in the session, at the moment I feel like I’m not getting the most out of it.

It happens to me on occasion. When it happens I usually being it up at the next appointment. For me it is a learning process. We discuss what happened and what might have triggered it. For me just feeling normal and understanding what is happening seems to help a bit. Sometimes if I am playing with something (my bracelet, my coffee cup. A smLl stone. Etc it helps. By talking about it EMDR 8z starting to recognize it when it is happening and able to sometimes being me back to the present.

Thank you for replying

I kind of want to bring it up but I feel really embarrassed about it (I think that’s my anxiety and worrying what people think).

Thinking about what you said about playing with something resonates with me. The first session I might have lost focus slightly once or twice but I was so anxious I didn’t stop squeezing/playing with my hands out of nervousness. But last time when I felt it was really difficult to stay focused I wasn't moving/playing with my hands as much. Maybe it’s related?

I have heard of EMDR has it helped? I’m not sure how my therapist might want to tackle trauma if we do ever get there as I shut the topic down when it comes up (I’m scared to bring it up in case things get bad and I can’t handle it).

How does your t notice and bring you back? I want to try next session but o stay present any way I can.

Emdr was starting to work. At the time I was seeing two Ts. One for about 10 years and Emdr T specifically for trauma work. 1 year ago my long term T had a horrible accident and passed away. EMDR work has been put in the shelf while we deal with the issues surrounding that ss well as building the relationship with Emdr T where I feel okay to return to it.

Over time Emdr T had been able to see the pattern when I zone out. Usually I stop talking and have a look on my face. She will ask me where I am. If I zoned out Cant answer so she knows. Some of the ways she brings me back is tLking to me, a startling noise (she once opened her very squeaky desk deat to get something and I returned to the present almost immediately), tossing a small squishy ball at me. We discussed and agreed that she could touch my knee or hand. We talked about it quite a bit to figure out ways that might work.

I’m really sorry to hear about your t I can’t begin to imagine how hard that has been for you.

It sounds like your EMDR t has been great at identifying and helping when you have zoned out. Hopefully I can get a handle on mine so I can take more of the session in, going every two weeks is sometimes hard enough without feeling like I’m missing a chunk of the session.

Keep talking to him about it with your T about. I disassociated with T a few times and because I didnt know what it was I didnt say anything so she didnt realize what happened she thought I got quiet but that was all.

I zone out / space out too. My mind will get foggy and sometimes my surroundings take on an unreal quality. My speech slows and it gets hard to talk. My words will sound slurred. Or I start hearing T as though I've cotton wool in my ears.

My T considers it dissociation. What helps me is forcing myself to sit upright and stretch out my arms and legs (rather than wanting to curl up in the chair), pressing my feet on the floor and feeling the pressure. Visual grounding (5 things you see etc) helps too, and sometimes I'll stand up and pace around the room because movement helps me unfreeze. As there's a sink in the room, I like to wash my face and hands with cold water.

Thanks Nottrustin. I will hopefully be able to talk about it at the next appointment or hopefully it might not happen again!

It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one that does this. It’s strange how it’s different for every person who zones out. When I zone out I get really focused on an object/area then my eyesight goes fuzzy/blurred, I know I’m still in the room etc but I feel stuck, don’t really feel/think anything just blank and I also feel like I can’t move my arms or legs.

I will try some of the grounding things you mentioned. Maybe sitting with both feet on the floor would help me but I feel like it’s an unnatural seated position for me as I normally sit with my legs crossed. I’m willing to give things a try though as I’d rather be fully in the session.