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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,796
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May 30, 2019 at 01:29 AM
#21
Only if she has been away for a long period of time.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 570
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May 30, 2019 at 01:50 AM
#22
Yes. Early in our relationship. I was in a period of rapid cycling mania with psychosis (an episode every 6-8 weeks) and I had had long, frequent, difficult, admissions. The plan was to try and catch a manic episode much earlier in development, before it became a crisis and I needed an admission. She was working in coordination with my psychiatrist. It was an intense situation where I had no insight about my mania and psychosis. I was incapable of asking for help. They felt it clinically necessary to step in.
I'm happy to report, the rapid cycling phase resolved and life went back to no check-ins between appointments. I felt like I had graduated from critical care. It was a great milestone in my treatment. |
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 Amyjay, HALLIEBETH87, LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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May 30, 2019 at 03:58 AM
#23
No, never. I can't imagine she would ever. She has very strong boundaries.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
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May 30, 2019 at 04:30 AM
#24
yes, ex-T did many times. looking back, i'm not sure if this was a good thing or not. it felt good in the moment to know he was thinking about me and was concerned, but him checking in like this was inconsistent and the inconsistency lead to expectations and confusion and hurt feelings when he didn't check in after a difficult session. honestly, i suspect he was doing it more for his own reasurance due to a lack of confidence than being overly concerned about me and my well being. he sometimes admitted to feeling like he was 'walking on eggshells' when it came to our relationship and he didn't like knowing i was hurt or upset due to something he inadvertently did or didn't do in our sessions. this clearly was about him and his s*#t that he needed to sort.
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 Lemoncake
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LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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May 30, 2019 at 04:49 AM
#25
Quote:
5 years later and few states away he still will randomly check in on me. __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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| koru_kiwi
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
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May 30, 2019 at 05:48 AM
#26
T reached out once to check how I was doing. It actually was not helpful. There was something going on in my life that was painful. At that point I was doing other things to distract myself. Her email brought me back to the problem.
She frequently reached out for non therapy stuff. Which way helpful for the connection. Emdr T never has normally I am okay with it. A few weeks ago I had an episode where I became nauseous, hot. Felt dain and unsteady on my feet. A part of me wished she __________________ |
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Guest
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May 30, 2019 at 08:02 AM
#27
she did only once, a long time ago, it was while i was taking a break from therapy, well mid-break my dad passed away, and i called her that morning and told her on the phone and we talked briefly about it, she was a big help that morning. After that it was a few weeks later she emailed me said she had been thinking of me and was checking on how I was doing. a month or so after that i resumed therapy.
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LonesomeTonight
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: east coast
Posts: 28
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May 30, 2019 at 08:58 AM
#28
Never. However, he does respond promptly to emails and phone calls. He has also given extra sessions when requested. The one thing he offered unasked was video sessions during his multi-week trip.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
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May 30, 2019 at 09:11 AM
#29
No, my T has never checked on me. I don't think I would like that and as I'm sure others have said, that is not considered part of what T's are supposed to do. For me having a place to go once/week where I know he will be there and responsive to me, makes me feel less alone. But I am stupidly optimistic and a glass half full kind of person. For me it means a lot that that space is available for me and it's mind to do with as I please.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
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May 30, 2019 at 11:17 AM
#30
Awesome T does not as it would undermine many of our current treatment goals. I suppose he would if say he saw an accident on the news that looked like my car or heard on the news of some kind of emergency near where I live. But as a general rule no. He wants me to initiate contact and ask for what I need. He would also see it as pushing me or forcing me to talk to him.
I did have a T who would. She nurtured a very dependant relationship and then therapy became very harmful. That T hurt me just as much as the people who neglected/abandoned me and the ones who were emotionally abusive. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,695
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May 30, 2019 at 11:47 AM
#31
Only if I email first or if i've skipped a
session. Very infrequently to rearrange session time. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." 
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Posts: n/a
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May 30, 2019 at 12:20 PM
#32
No and I think this would be hugely triggering and confusing for me. I get triggered enough just being asked in session if I can keep myself safe outside of session so the idea of a check-in phone call that I didn't initate would lead to a spiral and a felt invasion of privacy together with my needy side wanting to be adopted. Yay abandment issues.
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| SlumberKitty
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Member Since Apr 2015
Location: in the parlour.
Posts: 353
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May 31, 2019 at 12:24 PM
#33
Nope. I don't have any contact between sessions... unless it's an emergency.
__________________ "It is a joy to be hidden but a disaster not to be found." D.W. Winnicott |
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 189
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Jun 06, 2019 at 06:34 AM
#34
I wish she would. But I email first if I have questions or comments about our work together. I often need to resist the urge to email, since I often want to talk about stuff that can only be discussed during sessions.
__________________ I like deer with their stick legs and stick antlers |
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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Jun 07, 2019 at 11:34 PM
#35
Never. And with the exception of this summer where we agreed he would email me on Mondays, he usually doesn’t respond to my emails either.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 333
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Jun 08, 2019 at 02:01 AM
#36
Very very rarely. I think maybe 3 times in 3 years? It gives me the warm fuzzies when it happens though, like maybe he might actually care a teeny tiny bit. He does normally reply in some form to any emails I send too.
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