types of therapy

I am going through some hardships in my personal life and feel very stuck in the way I think and feel. What type of therapy would challange me most?
I have tried person-centered therapy but the idea of unconditional positive regard doesn't appeal to me. I understand empathy and validation but I need someone to shake me up and chalange the way I proccess my thoughts as I can't get past certain patterns of behaviours.
I have no idea where to reach out. Therapy seems impersonal, nobody in life has the time or energy to get involved and I feel so alone and stuck with big questions. I need somone anyone to genuinely give a ****!

Well, the first paragraph would suggest a need for CBT but the second suggests a need for a humanistic approach which would be more like the person centered work you didn’t find useful. Some also depends on the goals

I had the same issue with therapy, not challenging enough for my taste and to be truly useful. Unconditional acceptance and positive regard does nothing to me except enabling self-defeating behaviors. I would have wanted my Ts to call me out on my BS and to ask me probing questions and share observations and insights that provide a different perspective and potentially more useful tools to work on my issues. No such luck and it greatly contributed to why I gave up on therapy in the end. Looking more at the different types, I now think that a life coach or occupational therapist that focus on practical solutions and function might have been more useful for me. I do introspection and self-exploration all the time on my on, with friends, colleagues and have many supportive people around me, don't need a paid person just for those things. I also have challenge but not many people who challenge me on how I sometimes get in my own way, other than some peers who have experienced similar things and dare to be very honest and direct.

CBT may be practical but very simplistic and I can easily practice it on my own, no need to pay someone and go to appointments. Accountability can be good but I doubt it is serious in therapy, if I don't do any of the things discussed, there will be no consequences in my life. What I like more is seeing good examples for great discipline. That can be quite inspiring.

I had an interest in existential therapy in the past because it is supposed philosophical nature but, again, I have many people to be philosophical with and discuss how to create a meaningful life in everyday life, for free.

Yup, this is exactly what I need. More insight observation and I mentioned it to them, more than once and we talked about it and it still keeps being this crap rephrasing of how I feel. In my other post i was talking about needing validation but it its impersonal and generic what good can it bring?
At this point I don't talk about the issues with anyone outside of therapy. I am so stuck and have no idea how to get going.
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The Relational Pyschodynamic/ Pyschoanalytical are the most egalitarian, and share the most about themselves. If I could start over, I would work with the one in my city, but I am attached to my T. They take boundaries just a bit easier and emphasize a candid relationship in a safe space( the third space) and believe both people co create the field of experience .

This sounds very much like how my T operates, which is probably why you're a fan of his! He doesn't consider himself a particular modality though, just "eclectic." He's definitely not humanistic--has even said he doesn't believe in unconditional positive regard (which bothered me at the time) or psychodynamic/psychoanalytic. He says that he "gives honest feedback" and how that approach isn't right for a lot of people. It can be difficult at times, but I also feel I've made a lot of progress with him compared to T's in the past who didn't challenge me as much.

So maybe it's not so much about particular modality as how that T chooses to practice/their personality. It might help for you to look some up in your area on Psychology Today (click the Find a Therapist) and just see what sense you get from their descriptions. And you could always reach out to a few, say what you're looking for, and see what they say.

Haha, yes! If I ever feel that I need/want therapy again, will ask you for a referral I know that style would be very compatible with me, including that he is also open to feedback, challenge and expanding his repertoire. My second T (also eclectic) advertises himself to transmit a very similar image, why I chose him... but he did not really live up to it, was way too mellow.

I also think it is good to read up on candidate Ts online, whatever is available about them. Then interview them with specific, upfront questions and not allow to deflect and twist things. I did not know how to interview Ts effectively when I was looking in the past, would do much better now, with all the experience and knowing much better what would be useful for me.

Psychoanalytic therapy has been by far the most challenging therapy. The change primarily results from the T not engaging in your patterns and the transference work changes your mindset. Challenging your defenses leaves no place to escape from the truth...

I have tried many different therapists of many different types and this one had been transformative. But I have a history of severe/pervasive trauma, so I needed practitioners with advanced training and cannot work with therapists who don't have analytical training. That may not be an issue for some.

Not sure if this would interest you but throwing it out there.... Joining the military (this was before therapy) really helped me too as it was the first time in my life I experienced discipline, so was forced to change. I was involved with juvenile delinquency, then became a teenage mother, so the military helped me immensely as a transformational phase in my life. It was also like having a family who cared, which I never had growing up.

So for me, intensity helps me change. I can't find the right words. My past experience before this therapy was that Ts engage with my patterns, so I didn't change. My T is the first one I ever had who keeps his needs out of the therapy, can see what is coming from me vs him most of the time, relates to me as a separate person, and is solid.

i definilty reckon this is one of the key secret ingredients to having a successful therapy experince, no matter the type or modality of the therapy. unfortunately the trick is finding a T who consistently meets this criteria.