Second question

goatee · Jun 08, 2019 at 01:05 AM

I don’t like changing my day and time of therapy. I understand of course that sometimes it can’t be avoided with holidays and trips and vacations, etc., but it always upsets me and stresses me out and throws me off. My T doesn’t seem to understand this at all. She feels like if she’s seeing me, I shouldn’t be affected and that I’m way more impacted than most people. Has anyone else encountered this with a T? I’m so surprised that she doesn’t understand and it makes me feel weird.

Pennster · Jun 08, 2019 at 06:36 AM

I had one therapist change the date and time all the time, and I found it quite traumatizing- I couldn’t count on him to be there at all. He finally got it and committed to a regular time.

I am sorry you are having these problems with your therapist. Is she this insensitive generally, or do you think the dog and the appointment time thing are just blind spots?

Jun 08, 2019 at 06:56 AM

No, my T doesn't do that. He thinks consistency and reliability are very important, and understsnds my anxiety around unexpected changes.

Sorry you are having a hard time with this T .

Omers · Jun 08, 2019 at 09:08 AM

T’s are actually encouraged to keep it the same in their training as it supports the trust between client and T. My T changes a lot because of his travel and consulting but trues not to, feels bad and we discuss it a lot because of how difficult it has been for me.
Sorry but between your two posts I would not be able to work with your T. Not saying they aren’t a great T for some people but I couldn’t do t.

Lrad123 · Jun 08, 2019 at 09:27 AM

I am also surprised that your T doesn’t understand your reaction. I didn’t understand the importance of consistency in the therapy relationship when I first started therapy, but when I look back and realize that my T is always there at the same time every week and has never canceled even for sickness or bad weather, I realize it makes me feel like he cares and thinks what we’re doing together is important.

Jun 08, 2019 at 11:39 AM

my therapist and i live in different countries and both have very busy schedules. I never know when we are going to have time to talk. i hate it. she and i cannot make a regular day to talk, we just have to find time when we are both available. she doesnt seem to get it either why a regular day and time is so important to me.

starfishing · Jun 08, 2019 at 12:08 PM

I agree with you, it seems odd that she doesn't see the issue. Changing appointments brings things up for a lot of people, though obviously some people are more impacted than others. It seems like it would be more helpful if she worked to address the ways it impacts you and the reasons behind that, rather than expressing surprise that you're impacted.

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Second question

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Pennster Poohbah Member Since Aug 2013 Location: US Posts: 1,030 10 442 hugs given	Jun 08, 2019 at 06:36 AM #2 I had one therapist change the date and time all the time, and I found it quite traumatizing- I couldn’t count on him to be there at all. He finally got it and committed to a regular time. I am sorry you are having these problems with your therapist. Is she this insensitive generally, or do you think the dog and the appointment time thing are just blind spots?
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Anonymous56789 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 08, 2019 at 06:56 AM #3 No, my T doesn't do that. He thinks consistency and reliability are very important, and understsnds my anxiety around unexpected changes. Sorry you are having a hard time with this T .
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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 08, 2019 at 11:39 AM #6 my therapist and i live in different countries and both have very busy schedules. I never know when we are going to have time to talk. i hate it. she and i cannot make a regular day to talk, we just have to find time when we are both available. she doesnt seem to get it either why a regular day and time is so important to me.
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starfishing Member Member Since May 2017 Location: USA Posts: 466 6	Jun 08, 2019 at 12:08 PM #7 I agree with you, it seems odd that she doesn't see the issue. Changing appointments brings things up for a lot of people, though obviously some people are more impacted than others. It seems like it would be more helpful if she worked to address the ways it impacts you and the reasons behind that, rather than expressing surprise that you're impacted.
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