Hugs

If you hug your T can you describe the hug. Are you same gender or opposite? How long does it last? What parts of your body touch? Do you squeeze each other tighter? When do you think it would start to make you uncomfortable (crotches touching? Location of hands?)?

My T is the same gender as me. A hug after the session makes me feel accepted and cared for. I have honestly not noticed any of the physical details you mention. Years ago I had a T I was attracted to (and of the opposite gender) and yeah - a hug would have been a totally different thing and raised all kinds of problems there.

I hug my T and we are different genders. The first time it felt reeeally weird. I feel creepy and wanted to scratch my skin off because I felt as though I contaminated him. After that it got easier and now it is 100% comforting. They don't last long, maybe 5-ish seconds unless it was a tough session. Sometimes he holds on a little tighter and a little longer because he knows it grounds me.... often those times end with me crying afterward because it is comforting and feels accepting which is painful for me to experience. As for the location of the hug, I can't really explain? There is no below the waist touching, just upper body and hands stay on the upper back. I get really uncomfortable around men and really don't like it when they touch me so asking for a hug and accepting hugs was a really big thing for me.

I have hugged most T’s I have worked with. All but current T were female, same gender. They were social hugs, nice to have human contact but not really there sort of thing. Current T is male, he also has a very different theoretical orientation than my previous T’s. Most are they typical social hug but I have learned that at least with him that is on me because I am too focused on not hugging too close, not hugging too long, not messing up... like I always do. A few sessions back We hugged and T’s arms relaxed so I started to pull back. He gently asked if it was OK if we did a longer hug and so I moved back in. In my mind he now had taken responsibility for the length of the hug so I stopped fretting. All of a sudden I took this huge deep breath and felt a lot of tension leave my body. When that happened and I was no longer bracing myself waiting for a cue to let go, I could feel him. He was gentle, warm and nurturing, I could feel his breathing and my breathing started getting deeper and slower to match his. He gave me a little squeeze and let go. For me it was a very positive experience, a moment of connection and it helped my comfort level with him in session (I have a long history of being afraid of men). Since then we have gone back to the more social, less connected hugs... but our current goal is to work on trust and being open to being vulnerable with him.

Current T and I are the same gender. Hugs last about 3 seconds and are a medium level of tightness — tighter than “fake” social hugs, but not tight enough for me to consider them emotionally intense. Arms stay on the upper torso, and I tend to slightly rest my head on her shoulder. I haven’t really thought about it before because they just seem natural, but I guess our upper bodies touch and our lower bodies are close but don’t touch. I don’t think they would ever start to make me feel uncomfortable. I guess maybe if she grabbed my @s$ or something, but honestly I’d just be more surprised/perplexed than uncomfortable because it would be so randomly unexpected, lol.

T and I live in different countries so we only see each other about once a year (for a month or so.) We hug a lot. Hugs can last a few minutes. Fairly tight. They feel comforting. Healing.

My Ts are same gender. We give A frame hugs. It's quick and simple. Our shoulders touch. It's not tight, but it's not loose either. It solidifies our relationship, reassures me that everything is going to be okay, and comforts me.

I have never been hugged by my Ts. Both have been female. I am male. It would be comforting and healing to me, but I would never initiate it.

Never. They also never offered and I will never ask. God help the man if he does hug me....like another poster her said, "He will never get rid of him."

My current T is the same gender. We hugged once (she offered a hug after I shared something very vulnerable) and it felt good. I really appreciated how real it was, that it wasn't just a cursory greeting hug. We hugged tightly but not too tight to breathe. It was just our upper bodies touching. My T also rubbed and patted my back gently during the hug, which was a tad awkward. It would've been nice to sit there for a bit, with us just holding each other.

My T gives really tight hugs. And he doesn't let go until I let go. His hugs are the best.

Same gender, upper body touching. Brief, but warm.

Ex-t is same gender as me, she called them "side-hugs" (I was usually holding my notebook in the crook of one arm so...) If I hugged her with both arms it would be that A-frame thing. Not sure exactly when it became an every-session thing, but I'm glad it did. I kinda miss those hugs...

When ex-T (female like me) eventually allowed occasional hugs (after like 4 years), they were generally warm, though just top half of body touching. She hugged me pretty tightly a few times, like after ex-MC's wife died, and I was very upset about it. I've never hugged ex-MC or current T (both male) and feel it might be weird if I did (especially due to some off and on transference). Both shook/shake hands at the end of session though, and they're very warm handshakes, if that makes sense. Like T's hands are always literally very warm, and it feels more like a hand squeeze than a shake at times.

I started hugging mine (i am female and he is male) at a few months in and it’s gotten intense and intimate/full body really fast, I find it really powerful in that I can’t wait to go to session because I will get a hug and makes me feel more attached to him. 4 years is a long time! She was really cautious I guess

We hugged but I honestly have no idea what kind of hugs they were. I don’t notice that kind of thing I guess. Seems like it varied to the circumstance like any hugs would.

At first I had assumed she just didn't hug clients. I mentioned it offhandedly once, and she said she did hug some. Took me a few weeks to ask why she didn't hug me. She said because I had some maternal transference. Which...felt like I was being punished for having that, in a way. Then at one point, she just started touching me gently on the arm or shoulder when I left, then a few months later offered a hug when I'd had a difficult session.

Does it feel *too* intense with your T? Just curious.

Long term T and I did it every week.....opposite gender but was something we both were ok with doing. Full body hugs. Not really tight, usually about 5 or 10 seconds.

Baby T and T3, IDK if they hug, I don't care. I'd never want another T to take that special part I shared with T away from me.

I think it's really not a huge a deal as it's made to be, if both are ok with it, then go for it.

Yes sometimes it feels very intense, about 20 seconds with full body (literally) pressed, and I leave turned on

How would you feel about full body hugs with crotches touching? Would that feel ok or weird