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nottrustin
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Default Jun 18, 2019 at 08:53 AM
  #21
DP much of the relationship I had with T would have been highly frowned upon by people here and most professionals. We crossed most boundaries. The relationship worked and we accomplished a lot. She was what I needed to open up and accept me for who I am without all the shame and guilt.

EMDR T and I have discussed it a few times and she knows that T and I had an unique relationship and they spoke on the phone a few times. Emdr T says that because of my history I needed somebody willing to break some of the rules in order for me to be able to trust. Everything T did was because she cared and wanted to help me.

Her death has been horrifically painful but I am who I am today because of her willingness to do what I needed.

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Default Jun 18, 2019 at 09:45 AM
  #22
  • She is receptive to my anger.
  • She isn't stupid.
  • She will counter things I say that she disagrees with using arguments that I can appreciate - meaning that she makes appeals to logic rather than emotion, because she knows I value that.
  • She is capable of apologizing, but also hasn't apologized every single time I was angry just to smooth things over. Disingenuous apologies do not pacify me and are a pet peeve.
  • She doesn't sugar coat everything and tell me what an amazing person I am all the time and act like I can do no wrong.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 01:28 AM
  #23
My t is warm and engaging and experienced and such, but what she’s really excelled at has been giving me the time and space to do my own work. She’s pushed some when she judged it might be helpful, but not rushed as I wrestled with coming to my own terms with the things that brought me to therapy.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:32 AM
  #24
It concerns me that I find it so hard to answer this question, not because it indicates that she is a bad therapist (although ...), but because it might indicate how hard I find it to sift through my negative projections to truly see her. In turn, I realise how uncomfortably I sit in relation with her (and others).

She's commited and she bounces back.
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 06:51 AM
  #25
Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
DP much of the relationship I had with T would have been highly frowned upon by people here and most professionals. We crossed most boundaries. The relationship worked and we accomplished a lot. She was what I needed to open up and accept me for who I am without all the shame and guilt.

EMDR T and I have discussed it a few times and she knows that T and I had an unique relationship and they spoke on the phone a few times. Emdr T says that because of my history I needed somebody willing to break some of the rules in order for me to be able to trust. Everything T did was because she cared and wanted to help me.

Her death has been horrifically painful but I am who I am today because of her willingness to do what I needed.
I am glad you get it, although I feel bad complaining about missing him at all when I think of your situation, I couldn't imagine him dying, although, now I'll never know if/when that happens anyway

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nottrustin
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 07:16 AM
  #26
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Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
I am glad you get it, although I feel bad complaining about missing him at all when I think of your situation, I couldn't imagine him dying, although, now I'll never know if/when that happens anyway
Hugs..

Like anything they are different but potentially just as painful. One of the ways I have been able to work through the loss of T is knowing that she would have never left me like that if she had the choice. We would have had time to transition me over appropriately to EMDR T. I also highly suspect she and I would have at least had occasionally emails.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 05:55 PM
  #27
T turns up
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