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Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 47
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#21
Hi,
So my ex-t is a social worker, so I complained to the NASW (National Association of Social Workers) because I 'didn't want to get her in a lot of trouble' WOW! That's changed now. Unlike the state board everything with the NASW remains private unless their actions are so bad that the NASW decides to or has to by law contact the state board. In my instance......uhhhfffff. Well first off they are HORRIBLE with time. They have guidelines set up for things happening by certain dates and they totally ignore them. I complained in June of 2018 - I didn't get the final report back till June 1, 2019 - if they went by their own set of rules this scrap would have been over in Feb. I mean I should have had the final report in Feb. It was EXTREMELY validating for me though that's for sure. My therapist lied and lied and lied and lied - the main HUGE difference for me is that I had a lot of evidence. A LOT - texts and emails - two yrs worth - without that it would have been my word against hers and she did exactly what I was told she was gonna do and.tried to tell them I was crazy - unfortunately for her I have text that totally contradict what she said to them. I've also contacted my state board - there's an investigation opened now and she's well, totally totally ****ed I can't tell you how hard I tried to talk to her about the totally inappropriate (sexual) things she said to me. Instead of speaking to me (even though when all this crap first went down she called me and I spent two hours on the phone with her trying to calm her down - sorry - I have to be careful not to rant- I'm still very angry...instead of speaking to me she tried to hide behind lies and I think she thought id never say anything ( because I have a history of not telling on ppl who abused me ) She may lose her licence - and I can't tell you how amazing it feels....not that I don't care...but it feels amazing to finally believe and understand that if she does have it revoked or suspended thats because of her actions- IT IS NOT MY FAULT - it's taken me a year to be able to write that and truly believe it. The complaint process has been VERY VERY helpful and important to me - I think for anyone wanting to complain the most important thing to know is the more evidence you have the better - and if u don't have any that's ok too but you have to be prepared for them to do nothing - but having a record that the t has a pattern of hurting ppl is important too |
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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feileacan, HD7970GHZ, here today, koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
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#22
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What I really did like, though, and will try to apply to myself, is that IT IS NOT MY FAULT that so many therapists have made me worse and not been able to help me. They generally put it in terms of me doing the work and being willing to change. Well, I did "the work" and changed in ways they recommended and now get along worse in the world than I did before following those recommendations. That looks like my fault, because now those new ways ARE faults, in other people's eyes, in the way I affect them. The therapists did that, no way I could have predicted that in advance. Their licenses mean nothing IMO, but It's good that at least some of those who hurt people are forced out of the business. |
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HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme, Whalen84
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HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi
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Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 47
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#23
It took me a year to get where I am. I think therapist abuse is scary as **** because like some ppl have mentioned - it's so private. In my case my former therapists boundaries we SOOOOOOOO bad that she literally wrote it all out ( texts ) it disgusts me to say that I'm lucky for that buy it's true.
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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ, here today, koru_kiwi, Xynesthesia2
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Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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#24
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Other types of more subtle manipulations and violations can be much harder to prove and defended by the the therapist. Easier to put it down to the client's issues. I think I could have reported my first T because he demonstrated most of the inappropriate and unprofessional things in outside of session email and text communications. But it would have been a lot of work to compile it to make it meaningful. Also, when I decided to quit, I deleted all of our emails on an impulse because I was so fed up and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. |
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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feralkittymom, HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
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#25
I wish their so called profession would do more to acknowledge the real harm that can be done by them and that therapy is not risk free. Some of them talk about it like there are no dangers at all - which is quite reckless in my opinion.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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HD7970GHZ
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feralkittymom, HD7970GHZ, here today, koru_kiwi, missbella, SalingerEsme, Whalen84, Xynesthesia2
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Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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#26
I agree. It is normal and compulsory in the medical field to make possible side effects of medications known, why not non-drug so called "treatments"? My first T has a lot of stuff where he talks about "good therapy" and how therapy is the holy grail for all sorts of problems, but never once mentions the risks and potential adverse effects. I confronted him about this once in session and there he acknowledged that there can be harmful effects, but he would never talk about it openly and honestly. I also very much dislike the whole "safe space" thing, IMO it is a big lie as a generalization. Safe for some, the complete opposite for others.
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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feralkittymom, HD7970GHZ, here today, koru_kiwi, missbella, SalingerEsme, stopdog, Whalen84
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
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#27
I think many of them are unaware of the hazards or are in denial. It's their religion. Thoughts must remain pure. That's what makes it so dangerous.
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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ, here today, koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme, Whalen84
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2015
Location: Philadelphia PA.
Posts: 1,291
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#28
I think the con is one's credibility I mean if there aren't witnesses. Its your word against a therapist or any mental health professional. When I was in my late 20s I went a therapists office. It was in his house. I 've been to other therapists in their homes. However their offices were in a separate place used only for professional therapy sessions. This time in this man's place it was a basement. A secluded basement. To get to the point he stripped down to his birthday suit. He proceeded to throw me on the coach and raped me. I never told anybody since I figured nobody would believe me because I was his patient. ie no credibility. i'm in no way telling anybody what to think. Only telling what feels true to me. HD79, everyone hugs!!!
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HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi, missbella, SalingerEsme, unaluna
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HD7970GHZ
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
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#29
Quote:
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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
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#30
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I went into therapy with a set of blinders, I think, and some limited, restricted interpersonal patterns that therapists fed into to get their egos stroked, and to collect their exorbitant fees. I didn't see it, perhaps the therapists didn't see it. Therapy IS their religion, to many I have seen, and became mine, too. Ugh. Rather than anything which helped me become more aware of those dysfunctional, restricted patterns, however, therapy exploited and used them It's hard for me to say the therapists exploited me because I think some, maybe most, didn't see it -- they were practicing the rituals and methods of their religion -- who knew? They apparently couldn't see beyond that. In order for therapists, or the society at large, to see the danger and ruination this can cause in people's lives they would have to be able to listen and hear what those of us who have managed to escape can tell them. But they won't, they don't, they can't? It conflicts with their self- and/or professional image of "helping" people. |
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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BudFox, HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: here
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#31
My therapist's defense amounted to performed mind reading: that I was unable to distinguish between actual events and residual parental conflicts.
I assume the grievance board accepted that, since I lost my complaint. He was the "authority" and I was the "patient," and he spoke for me. I was an unmedicated, homeowner with an executive job, but I was pathologized because I had a the temerity to complain against a psychologist. I also forfeited my privacy because the grievance was on public record. Rather my therapist's fictional representation of my therapy was on public record. |
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Portland, Oregon, USA
Posts: 33
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#32
Just trying to find some information on these Therapist, Counselor, Ethics and the Laws. wow this stuff is complicated for sure.
What do we have: Professional Ethics Personal Ethics in addition to above State Professional Ethics and Laws Federal Professional Ethics and Laws wowow...My OWN Ethics and or boundaries....or feeling violated in one way or another by what T is doing. Keeping in mind that this is 2019 not the 60's or 70's where Transnational Analysis and other loving therapies were predominate. Remember those bumper stickers? "Have you Hugged YOUR _______ today?" Mostly I have found there is not hugging or touching or personal revelations from therapist these days. It seems rules should be established on first intake appointment and reviewed on second intake after the client has time to review and think without rushing the acceptance and understanding of these rules. There must be a statement in writing from All Pro's T or SW or Counselors about no sexual, physical or emotional aggression from Therapist or Client. With understanding that client may have stuff of a sexual or emotional nature at the feeling and thought level and this should be discussed with T so those things can be worked through....If T cannot or will not adhere to these rules and also discuss with client as needed then termination of the T I believe is needed. However a intervention with anther more experienced T and session of three could happen if it was needed and ONLY if Client wanted that. Clients feelings and needs should always come first in my opinion. Revelation here is...I am only a client, never a professional. I've had several T's in my lifetime and I think none abusive or aggressively over the line. General boundaries were discussed before had both in individual and group sessions. Anyone know of articles of Ethic, Personal, Lawful, Rules, Regulations and Boundaries of Therapist, Counselors etc.? |
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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
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#33
Hello fellow survivors,
I want to thank everyone for sharing so much about your own experiences and insights about this matter! I am so heartbroken to see so much of this around. It sickens me to think that the healthcare system is designed to protect the professionals and maintain public facade of do no harm. Even with all the research and statistics surrounding this particular problem, nothing seems to change! I have decided that I may begin a complaint process for my own traumas. Before doing so, I am requesting EVERY health record written about me in order to see how they've covered up their abuse. First I will be requesting amendments / addendums for anything that is false / malicious / improperly recorded. After I know what they are and are not willing to change, I can get a better idea of what their defense is, then I can go about writing specific complaints. I will keep everyone up to date on what happens. I am sure there will be some useful insight that comes from all of this. Here's to hoping that someone will be held accountable (though I know deep down that this is very unlikely). Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme
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SalingerEsme
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Portland, Oregon, USA
Posts: 33
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#34
Quote:
I did a quick exit with one T the used many different disciplines and was interesting to say the least. She had a problem with my smoking and seemed it would get on my clothes and she could smell it. I was instructed to quit smoking all together or take a shower, put clean clothes on and do not smoke till after the session and I was back in my car...oh and to make sure I drove with the windows open when going to sessions since the car would have smoke debris in it and transfer to my clothing. I called her the before the next session and quit since I felt I could not actually adhere to her rules on my pretense and air quality when I was present. She called back and absolutely insisted I come in and talk it out. At that time I was addicted to smoking, bad habit but true for me at the time. She did do the insurance claim paperwork and sent it to me as she should. It took a couple years for me to try another T but that turned out very well for me. |
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SlumberKitty
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme, Whalen84, Xynesthesia2
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#35
NHS England >> How do I feedback or make a complaint about an NHS service?
I was looking this up for someone else and came across this and wanted to share. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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HD7970GHZ, SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
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#36
" He spoke for me" is such a poignant sentence, because his job was to help you find your voice. This makes me so sad, and I am sorry.
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__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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HD7970GHZ, missbella
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HD7970GHZ, missbella
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
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#37
This is very brave. While I do believe there are some sincere T's working in the trenches as a calling, there are many who have a degree of cynicism and are corrupted by their own power in a small space with no oversight. This is crazy dangerous for a vulnerable patient.
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__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi, Whalen84
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Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 47
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#38
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HD7970GHZ, Xynesthesia2
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HD7970GHZ
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Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 47
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#39
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HD7970GHZ, koru_kiwi, missbella
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HD7970GHZ
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
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#40
Quote:
Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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Whalen84
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