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NP_Complete
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 08:06 PM
  #81
I most definitely have a personal connection with my therapist. It has limits, but it's still there and it's real, and I don't believe it's one sided as he's said I affect him as well. He's also said that even though it is a different relationship, it's not less than other relationships. I don't think I could do the work we do together without a personal connection.
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Anonymous45127, LonesomeTonight

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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 09:32 PM
  #82
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Clients get to ask whatever they want. A therapist's job is not jeopardized by a client asking a question. The therapist, like the client, may decide to decline to answer any question - but the asking is not wrong.

Yes, I agree with this. It's up to the therapist to decide on and hold the boundaries about what they will and will not disclose. The client should be able to ask pretty much anything, and it's up to the T to decide if they want to answer or not and how much information to give. Like if a client asks if a T has kids, the answers could range from "I prefer not to answer" to "yes" to "Yes, I have 2" to "Yes, I have 2, they're ages 8 and 10" to "Yes, I have 2, Timmy is 8 and Katie is 10" (I picked those names randomly). And to potentially give more info about them, as my ex-MC did (by choosing to disclose on his own throughout sessions, not in response to my asking).

My T said he had a son, and I asked his age. He told me his age then pointed to his picture on his desk. As far as other questions, he's said he wants to protect his privacy, and I've respected that and not asked any more. (It's sort of complicated by the fact that my ex-T told me something fairly major about current T's son before I started seeing him, which is something in common with my daughter. I eventually told T what she said, and he didn't dispute it at the time I shared it, but then it sort of became an issue later on when I brought it up and he said she may not have had accurate information. But that's an entirely different story...)
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 10:32 PM
  #83
I am a little different in regard to this matter. I will not ask my T personal questions as I would never want to find myself in a discussion about why it’s important for me to know this or that about her. I imagine that would make me feel awkward and uncomfortable for the most part. Instead, I just let my T disclose to me whatever information she chooses to and whenever she chooses to do so. I find it keeps my therapy neat and clean. I enjoy that part of my therapy. And I learn little things about my T here and there. That is absolutely priceless to me.

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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 03:58 AM
  #84
I've never really thought about asking personal questions to my therapist. The session goes by so quickly, and I have so many issues that need to be addressed. Sometimes he does disclose something personal, but I hardly notice because of being pressed for time.
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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 08:35 PM
  #85
It's in the therapist's best interests to not reveal much, personally or professionally, because it keeps them out of trouble and keeps the client guessing.

But the more opaque the therapist, the less basis there is for trust. And that burden is 100% on the client.

The client is expected to trust a stranger, and surrender control to an all-knowing parental or god-like figure who dribbles out a few disclosures here and there..

Seems to me the question about pets isn't just about pets, it's about figuring out who you are dealing with based on the way the conversation goes.
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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 08:51 PM
  #86
I'm not one to ask personal questions of people in general, and definitely not of my T. But my T is not opaque, she is quite transparent and she has divulged a number of personal stuff over the years. Nothing outrageous, and always in line with whatever I am talking about at the time, but she doesn't seem to be afraid to share some of her personal self.
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