Inequities in society and my own failure is highlighted when seeing a therapist

Do I understand this to mean that therapists don't convey esteem and respect for clients when dealing with attorneys?

OP has reported here over and over the many ways therapy torments her. I know it's more fun to think of this as OP's problem and then give a bunch of advice about how she should correct her life, but this is a therapy forum, so I am giving my take on how therapy itself might contribute to the problem. Also, if therapy intensifies a life problem, then therapy has become part of the problem, not part of the solution. This is usually covered up by repeating the mantra "transference" until everything becomes very hazy.

My life was not-bad when I was in therapy, with a job I worked hard to get and early artistic recognition. Still therapy left me feeling subordinated and enfeebled, a wretched supplicant begging at the robe hem of lofty magi. This wasn’t just my transference. Therapists verbally and nonverbally enforced their authority and my intimidation.

My experience has been quite different. The two therapists I've worked with have not enforced any authority over me, neither verbally nor nonverbally.

Yes, this is exactly what I was trying to say!

Sarah, I wonder if you've had people in your life with really high expectations, because I notice this kind of thinking in me and my friends whose parents expected perfection at all times. We were all so focused on being perfect that we never learned to set goals, be **** for years, then get somewhere. Our parents were all very high achieving, and we never saw them struggle for the material things like houses or money. And when we were spat out into the world, we didn't understand why we didn't immediately get those things.

I wish I'd just focused on working with what I had. I could have reached most of my goals five years sooner if I'd concentrated on what was in my reach rather than looking at what I was missing. My husband is good at breaking down goals into the tiniest steps. He'll often tell me to do something, and I'll get depressed because it seems so laughably pointless in the face of the huge thing I want and which other people seemed to have achieved without effort. But he's right, time and time again. I'm still trying to get my brain to accept his way is better than mine.

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Originally Posted by BudFox In such cases, most likely the therapist benefitted from the interaction. They feel better for being in the position of power and superiority. They probably live for that feeling. And they get paid.

Of course they get paid. It’s their livelihood. In any occupation you will find bad people and good people. I don’t think Sarah is saying her therapy was bad per se, she seems to be wondering or envying what her therapist has. She googled her. I do not get the impression that her therapist showed off her great life to Sarah.

I agree that in Sarah’s case therapy might not be helpful. And I mentioned it before too. She’s been trying all kind of different therapy but I don’t see any kind of result. I mentioned that therapy could do more harm than good at times and in this particular case I recommend at least taking a break and try something else

I still wouldn’t lump all therapy and all therapists in one pile

Therapists charge high fees, do very little, and keep all your money even if their "treatment" leaves you worse. This can go on for months or years. Therapists are also in a unique position to use clients to gratify their own emotional needs. Seen it firsthand. I imagine Sarah's therapists got what they wanted. Helluva business model.

SarahSweden, I understand this and have felt this too.

I just can't rely on my healthcare professionals to really have an understanding of what it is to live my life - especially when I was destitute on disability. They seemed so very out of touch.

For example, my psychiatrist once prescribed for me a smoothie. This was entirely unrealistic as the cost of making a one week's supply of these smoothies blew my food budget for the entire month. "Oh, then get the [stuff] from Costco." What a joke and how out of touch this was. Like I can afford a membership? Like I can find someone to drive me out there on account there is no transit there? This sort of being out of touch happened frequently. He seemed to not be able to comprehend the experience of the destitute. Often our sessions would end in him being frustrated as though I were somehow fighting his suggestions. He expected me to go out and do things regularly that cost money whether that be to a coffee shop on a daily basis, a movie now and then, or treating myself to a nice dinner. The one that really got me was his insistence I purchase an expensive gym membership and attend yoga. He just failed to get it.

In the end I felt he was incredibly unhappy with me as though I were somehow at fault for my mental health and purposely choosing to ignore his suggestions.

How about going to school? You can take out loans for college, rent, and living expenses, when you find a career that you'd like to pursue. A friend of mine did this: She went to Physician Assistant school at the age of 55 and now makes a ton of money working in surgery. She lives by herself, and doesn't even want a big fancy house (she could afford it, but no time to take care of it). Just throwing this out here as an example.

The idea would be to focus on an interest and go for it.

I think Sarah said she already went to school (college?) and couldn’t get any more loans or grants etc or something like that. Otherwise it’s a great suggestion. It’s never too late. My husband went back to school in his 40s and completely switched careers and he has a disability that he has to overcome daily. But I don’t think Sarah can go to school anymore unless paying out of pocket. .

This dude lacked common sense and possibly basic math skills. One doesn’t need to be destitute to know what people on disability get paid and what they can afford. It’s insane not to grasp it. I’ve never been on disability but I know what disability payments are. This guy is bizarre, couldn’t he suggest free things? Was he planning on paying for your memberships and smoothies? Unbelievable.

I had a psychiatrist that made similar suggestions like this. I told him that he was completely clueless. He was just an added problem to my already existing ones.