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feileacan
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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 12:13 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by Elio View Post
At times yes.


To give another perspective, I sometimes send topics in email or write in my journal ahead of time to give my T heads up because I want her to have had time to think of how to respond to me in a way that would be most helpful for me. I know that if she was to respond in certain ways it would be damaging for our relationship/me. I used to do it a lot early on, it has lessened significantly.
To me, the situation you describe is quite different from what the OP describes because the dynamic between you and your T looks to me very different from what Lrad has described happening between her and her T. That's why to my mind your perspective is really not applicable in this situation. This is of course only my personal opinion only.
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healed84
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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 12:29 PM
  #22
I don’t know.. t seems to think I want him to think of me out of session. He has even said the last two sessions that I am one of the clients that he ha been thinking about a lot out of session all because of my SI. And it says it in away that is supposed to make me feel good? Like I was looking for the confirmation? Idk... t and I have been really off lately.

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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 12:58 PM
  #23
Not something I really think about, though i know she does think about me occasionally as she will bring it up if she does.
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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #24
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Originally Posted by Lrad123 View Post
I didn’t think I wanted this, but then I emailed my T the day before my last session and he suggested that maybe I did it because I wanted him to think of me outside of session. I’m not sure. I lean towards wanting to seem self-sufficient and not being intrusive or having too many needs, so I hadn’t thought that that was what I was doing, and frankly it sort of bothers me that I might have been doing that on an unconscious level. I told him I just wanted to give him a heads up about a certain topic and wanted to be polite by telling him in advance so he wouldn’t be caught off guard. Do you want your therapist to think of you outside of your session? Do you act on it? I suppose it would be pretty common.
Yes I want him to because if he did not, he'd be indifferent, which is 'unsafe' to me due to components of severe neglect in my upbringing. Of course, anyone could think about a person outside of caring, but to me, the fact that he thinks about me outside of session means he cares at least a little and that I matter to him enough.

People who are neurotic have a lot of (unconscious) conflicts, which causes anxiety and behavioral problems. This therapy draws out these conflicts and highlights them front and center, so maybe your dependency feelings were already there but have been masked through overcompensating by taking care of others? Perhaps not needing things is part of your identity now, and that having needs feels foreign to you. You said earlier that the therapy brought out a side of you that has never been revealed anywhere else. Might this be related? It's almost like you had a separate persona in the email and in session. Now that you opened up to him, it seems the 2 are connecting or integrating.

Whether he's right or wrong, there are things to explore here.
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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 09:36 PM
  #25
One time she said something weird like "when I think of you outside of this room." I felt sort of shocked because it had never occurred to me that she had ever done that. But I think it must be when I have texted her. So then the answer is yes, because if I contact her, there's a reason for it.

I just don't ever want her thinking about me in a I'm-going-down-to-the-magistrate's-office-and-having-Susannah-committed sort of way. That goes for in or outside of sessions.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 11:27 AM
  #26
Yes. Occasionally my therapist mentions that he thought of me or was reminded of me for some reason, and it makes me feel that he cares about me. I don't email him or anything like that, though, that's never been part of my therapy.
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 02:13 PM
  #27
At least enough to think about what would be helpful to me for my treatment...
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Misery Business
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 03:02 PM
  #28
Yes and No, I do understand that my T has a life outside of her work environment and shouldn't be thinking about me and her other clients all the time. That would just lead to her home life to being poor. Now of course if something jogs her mind that would be beneficial to me then sure think of me and either write it down for the our next session or even text me or if it is urgent enough call me.
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 07:41 PM
  #29
Yes, I've wanted him to think about me, but I have no reason to believe that he does. We don't e-mail each other. He only texts if he needs to reschedule. I assume I never cross his mind until it's almost time for me to arrive at the office. Maybe it's better that way. If I thought he was thinking about me outside the office, it could get confusing for me, although it would feel good to be acknowledged that way and to feel that I mean something to him beyond a payment.
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:59 PM
  #30
I assume my T thinks about me occasionally, outside of t. I hope she thinks good things.

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