Meditation always makes things worse

I had been practicing meditation (grounding exercises, body scan, awareness and some more) for about 3 months, till I realized that it always makes things even worse.

While meditating, I feel a bit better, when focusing on my pain. But, after meditation, I always experience anxiety attack and the pain only worsens. Sometimes it can make me cry...

Just like if you assume pain as an air flow, and you can say that when you're experiencing pain, it's like all of it goes to the void. But, when you're meditating, it doesn't lower the strength of the air flow (pain), it's just like if you're starting to blowing up a balloon. You stop feeling that air flow around you for a bit. But, eventually, the balloon blows up, bursts. And you feel all the pain you've just collected into your balloon.

When I asked my psychotherapist about it, she said that it will change with time, but I felt worse and worse, so I decided to stop doing it at all. However, I worked with her for 2 month, then she stopped working with me (which made me wonder if it's a sign that I'm right about the fact that my disease can't be cured and I'm better off dead; but I'm still alive and even sometimes feel happy).

I'm really frustrated about it, because the only pain relief everybody is talking about in my case, is meditation. Could I be doing it just wrong, or too much?

I'm a little confused - when you meditate, you focus on the pain?

So, there are lots of types of meditation. If this one is making your worse and increasing your anxiety, can you try another type? If it's making you feel worse, it's not doing what it's supposed to!

(It sounds like you've tried several - it might be that meditation isn't the right thing for this problem, at this time. I think that's totally valid!)

Also, for some people (especially with trauma histories), I've heard that meditation isn't recommended, as it can bring up painful feelings. This doesn't sound like what you're talking about though.

Have you tried any guided visualizations (instead of meditation)? Maybe something like that would help?

Or a different type of meditation? I've just started doing one where the goal is to be very focused (on your breathing) rather than "unfocused/blank mind". I'm about 10 days in, and it's helping a little with stress. I do it at lunch and it helps reset my brain a little (work stress is making me feel like my brain will explode).

Here's a link to the one I do. It says 20 minutes, but I started with 10 and am slowly adding time:
Peak Brain InstituteA Mindfulness Practice - Peak Brain Institute

Edit: I think I'm confused when you say "pain" - whether you mean physical or emotional?

Also, don't give up! There may be some type of meditation or relaxation that helps you, or there may be something else entirely different. It's worth continuing to try. *hugs*

Personally I think meditation isn’t for everyone. I personally can’t stand it. My therapist stopped suggesting it. My husband really likes it though. So it’s not universal remedy. Is there anything else you think you might try instead?

I have had a similar experience and switched to guided meditation which has helped significantly.

Traditional meditation never helps me. It only increases my worries because it causes me to focus on my physical body, which is a big source of my anxiety. I have had some luck with guided visualization because it gets my mind off my body and also usually has soothing music, sounds, and voices. You can find dozens of guided visualization videos and exercises on YouTube. Might be worth a try.

Hm....I wonder if this could be part of why meditation is an issue for me? Because I already tend to be way too tuned into bodily sensations, and they often cause anxiety. Maybe I should mention that to my T (he keeps suggesting meditation). Maybe I'll try the guided visualization thing.

Yeah, I focus on pain as it's always recommended to do so in many articles I've read. I can't focus on my breath or anything neutral when I do meditation.

I haven't tried guided visualization/meditation because of bad vocabulary (yeah, my bad). All of these body parts, etc. But visualization is something different, I should try it, thanks for the tip.

> Edit: I think I'm confused when you say "pain" - whether you mean physical or emotional?

Is there any really difference, haha? I always feel emotional pain in my stomach (celiac plexus), or in chest.

Yeah, it could be our case.

Anyway, I haven't seen any other options rather than meditation, now some of you told me about guided visualization, and I've never heard about it before, so I'll try it out.

It is known that meditation can have negative side effects and precipitate psych and cognitive issues for some people. This is an article that also has a link to a scientific study:
Why meditation can be bad for you - INSIDER

I went to meditation retreats in the past and they warned us about possible side effects in the beginning. Some retreats also have a psychiatrist or psychologist on board apparently in case something out of control happens.

Try this meditation technique. It will help you learn how to go to your comfortable state.

Close your eyes and try to see all the muscle tensions in your body that deprive you of a comfortable state. Pay special attention to the muscles of the face and head. And then, not paying attention to these muscle tensions, you should try to achieve a comfortable state. You can get comfortable condition with a lot of muscle tension. People often do not notice this strong muscle tension and unconsciously support it. This tension may be so strong that your efforts will not be enough to remove it. But your efforts should be directed not to maintain tensions but to remove them.

To do this, you only need to focus on the state of internal comfort.
If you notice that the internal tension as it pulls attention to yourself, try to focus attention on this place, and then as if to get out from under this concentration of attention. This can be called the technique of scattered attention.

Then this thing can happen - you concentrate on some place, you can relax the muscles, but the tension has changed the configuration and went to another place. You track tensions again and you leave from it again and it goes to another place again. So you can meditate as much as you want. If you succeed, then there is a certain pleasure in it.
It is better to do it at night, but you can do it at any time. You can anywhere at least for a moment to close your eyes and instantly disconnect.
In depression, do not orient on the emotional color of the feeling, but only on its strength.
Well, that is the reason for depression can be anything and feelings can be different. But the feelings should be ignored as if they were not.
Sorry for my English.

I've personally never been able to get any relief from meditation. I can't fully get into it, since my mind is racing too quickly and I've got way too many thoughts to control. The idea of "clearing your mind" has always been a mystery to me. If anything, being told that I have to actively clear my mind just makes me think of anything and everything.

It's definitely not the be-all-end-all of solutions. I think it works differently for everyone. Kind of like exercise, eating healthy, and a regular sleep schedule; yeah, it might not cure your mental illness, but it sure can't hurt. In your case though, if it IS hurting you, then definitely don't do it.

Personally, I have a lot of energy riled up during panic moments, so I need some way to channel it and get it out. I can't just let it dissipate through slow meditation. Right now it helps for me to just go find a friend and talk to them. Or I start writing like crazy. I've also just been doing more things to get rid of energy throughout the day, rather than letting my brain wander too much.