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Junior Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: South Africa
Posts: 10
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#1
I have seen a lot of therapists. A total of 12 over 18 years. That does't sound that bad. Compared to my psychiatrists that is 5. I have tried almost every approach there is, my latest was hypnotherapy - it didn't end well.
I was told that I have to be in therapy for the rest of my life My problem with the therapists are that they always seem to find a way to severely disappoint me. I have some trust issues and I bring that up in the first sessions so that they know. But they always manage to break promises or forget important information along the way. I know some of this is my illness speaking... I am now once again urged to see a therapist. I can't imagine going through all the motions, telling my whole story again. My psychiatrist's rationale is that I will keep on relapsing if I don't resolve my issues and create positive coping mechanisms. But I just don't know. __________________ The beach is my absolute favourite place! |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: in the parlour.
Posts: 353
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#2
Have you been able to Express your disappointment and anger at any of them? How did they take it? I've struggled with this too, it's so irritating and disappointing when they F up, forget things or simply just don't 'get' you (me/us). I think part of it for me has been to Express and process the disappointment because it's often linked to previous, sometimes early, experiences of being let down. But you have to find someone you click with, not necessarily trust straight off, trusting is hard and takes time, you've got to find someone who you have a connection to.
__________________ "It is a joy to be hidden but a disaster not to be found." D.W. Winnicott |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 540
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#3
You are saying that most of the therapy you had was disappointing... was it also helpful in some ways? Because if not and you still struggle with the same issues, perhaps therapy is just not the way to work on them? I would definitely not expect magic after all that time.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
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#4
Is there anything you could try instead? Peer support? Group therapy? I’d say if you had no success with 12 therapists, it might be not for you.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,787
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#5
Is there anyone who has never disappointed you? In my experience disappointment has been part of every important relationship. Sometimes I am the one who disappoints, sometimes it’s the other person but its gonna happen in every relationship of any real significance and duration. Therapy can be a really good place to figure out what to do with that disappointment, because certainly it’s going to show up everywhere else too. So it’s a life skill: I’m hurt, I’m mad, let’s figure it out, we aren’t going to discard each other.
I think it’s fine to go in saying “I’ve been hurt and I have trust issues” but the goal would be not to find someone who won’t hurt or disappoint but rather someone who has the wherewithal to work through the inevitable hurt and disappointment. |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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#6
I never found individual therapy either. I go to peer support groups now. They are run by therapists, but I can also get to talk to people who really understand what I'm going through. The groups are also free.
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Neptune
Posts: 13
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#7
Disappointment is such a huge part of life isn't it? Maybe something to tackle is how to handle the disappointment. Your next therapist will let you down. Everyone will let you down at some point because no body is perfect! Part of the experience may be learning how to see the other person as flawed and imperfect and how to work through the let downs.
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Member
Member Since Dec 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 390
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#8
Here is something that has been working for me: Live without any expectations of others. People (including me) are free to do whatever they want whenever they want and I don’t have to take it personally. That way when others do something nice for me or something that I particularly like, I am pleasantly surprised and very grateful.
__________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. ~Rumi |
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