Life with a therapist

blueoceaneyes · Jun 20, 2019 at 05:35 AM

I have seen a lot of therapists. A total of 12 over 18 years. That does't sound that bad. Compared to my psychiatrists that is 5. I have tried almost every approach there is, my latest was hypnotherapy - it didn't end well.

I was told that I have to be in therapy for the rest of my life

My problem with the therapists are that they always seem to find a way to severely disappoint me. I have some trust issues and I bring that up in the first sessions so that they know. But they always manage to break promises or forget important information along the way. I know some of this is my illness speaking...

I am now once again urged to see a therapist. I can't imagine going through all the motions, telling my whole story again. My psychiatrist's rationale is that I will keep on relapsing if I don't resolve my issues and create positive coping mechanisms.

But I just don't know.

TeaVicar? · Jun 20, 2019 at 06:11 AM

Have you been able to Express your disappointment and anger at any of them? How did they take it? I've struggled with this too, it's so irritating and disappointing when they F up, forget things or simply just don't 'get' you (me/us). I think part of it for me has been to Express and process the disappointment because it's often linked to previous, sometimes early, experiences of being let down. But you have to find someone you click with, not necessarily trust straight off, trusting is hard and takes time, you've got to find someone who you have a connection to.

Xynesthesia2 · Jun 20, 2019 at 07:42 AM

You are saying that most of the therapy you had was disappointing... was it also helpful in some ways? Because if not and you still struggle with the same issues, perhaps therapy is just not the way to work on them? I would definitely not expect magic after all that time.

divine1966 · Jun 20, 2019 at 10:48 AM

Is there anything you could try instead? Peer support? Group therapy? I’d say if you had no success with 12 therapists, it might be not for you.

Favorite Jeans · Jun 21, 2019 at 06:30 PM

Is there anyone who has never disappointed you? In my experience disappointment has been part of every important relationship. Sometimes I am the one who disappoints, sometimes it’s the other person but its gonna happen in every relationship of any real significance and duration. Therapy can be a really good place to figure out what to do with that disappointment, because certainly it’s going to show up everywhere else too. So it’s a life skill: I’m hurt, I’m mad, let’s figure it out, we aren’t going to discard each other.

I think it’s fine to go in saying “I’ve been hurt and I have trust issues” but the goal would be not to find someone who won’t hurt or disappoint but rather someone who has the wherewithal to work through the inevitable hurt and disappointment.

downandlonely · Jun 21, 2019 at 06:38 PM

I never found individual therapy either. I go to peer support groups now. They are run by therapists, but I can also get to talk to people who really understand what I'm going through. The groups are also free.

tabhady · Jun 22, 2019 at 03:44 PM

Disappointment is such a huge part of life isn't it? Maybe something to tackle is how to handle the disappointment. Your next therapist will let you down. Everyone will let you down at some point because no body is perfect! Part of the experience may be learning how to see the other person as flawed and imperfect and how to work through the let downs.

InnerPeace111 · Jun 24, 2019 at 01:51 PM

Here is something that has been working for me: Live without any expectations of others. People (including me) are free to do whatever they want whenever they want and I don’t have to take it personally. That way when others do something nice for me or something that I particularly like, I am pleasantly surprised and very grateful.

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Xynesthesia2 Veteran Member Member Since Mar 2019 Location: USA Posts: 540 5 55 hugs given	Jun 20, 2019 at 07:42 AM #3 You are saying that most of the therapy you had was disappointing... was it also helpful in some ways? Because if not and you still struggle with the same issues, perhaps therapy is just not the way to work on them? I would definitely not expect magic after all that time.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,356 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jun 20, 2019 at 10:48 AM #4 Is there anything you could try instead? Peer support? Group therapy? I’d say if you had no success with 12 therapists, it might be not for you.
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downandlonely Legendary Member Since Mar 2018 Location: United States Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.6k hugs given	Jun 21, 2019 at 06:38 PM #6 I never found individual therapy either. I go to peer support groups now. They are run by therapists, but I can also get to talk to people who really understand what I'm going through. The groups are also free.
	Reply With Quote

tabhady Junior Member Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Neptune Posts: 13 4	Jun 22, 2019 at 03:44 PM #7 Disappointment is such a huge part of life isn't it? Maybe something to tackle is how to handle the disappointment. Your next therapist will let you down. Everyone will let you down at some point because no body is perfect! Part of the experience may be learning how to see the other person as flawed and imperfect and how to work through the let downs.
	Reply With Quote