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Default Jun 21, 2019 at 09:44 AM
  #21
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Originally Posted by Lrad123 View Post
Octoberful, you tend to say things that click with me. I feel like what you say about me making therapy about my T rather than taking in the insight clicks, but I’m not sure I know how to do that. I feel like I might be inching in that direction, but I’m not sure. My last session with my T felt very different than any other (in a good way). I think you’re saying I should stop obsessing about his nonresponses to my emails, etc. I’m trying.

As for parallels with my family, I do see some, but I feel like I have pieces of a puzzle that don’t quite fit together. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts.
No, I don't think you should/should not do anything, really. Don't beat yourself up. You've been closed off for a long time, it seems, so it seems better to change gradually rather than going through some abrupt, dramatic change. You changed a lot already in opening up to him.

I also did a tremendous amount of obsessing and thinking about him. The pull was so strong, it felt like I was going to die at times. All that had changed, but it didn't happen overnight. It was also extremely painful and difficult to get through to the other side, but it now feels freeing to not be dependent like that on others and to experience a more geniune relationship sans the transference.

I think that how your T holds so much power over you is highly significant, and that issue may be interlaced with many other aspects of your life that may be resolved through this therapy. Just something to think about....

Opening up to him will likely open new doors for you. It can be frustrating, painful, and scary, but it can be so worth it in the end.
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Thanks for this!
Lrad123

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