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tomatenoir
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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 05:18 AM
  #21
I don't think therapists need to have had the same problems as me to be effective.

I went to therapy for a miscarriage, subsequent infertility, and difficulty trusting people in caring roles/professions. I didn't get the sense he'd experienced any of those problems himself. Despite that, he was very helpful with the miscarriage, moderately helpful with the infertility, actively damaging with the last thing. Other therapists and doctors I've seen also have had their strengths and weaknesses when treating me.

I respect people who are competent, show integrity and can admit when they don't know something. Titles, status, and money don't do it for me. I respected my ex-therapist early on in our therapy, when he was helpful and when our conversations were open and honest (despite his flaws). I lost respect for him when he refused a final session with me, as I thought it was unprofessional and showed an inclination to give up on clients when it got hard (despite the talent he still obviously has).
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susannahsays
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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 11:11 AM
  #22
I don't really understand the question. Respect doesn't have to do with whether someone has had the same life experiences as me.

As for the therapist, I wouldn't pay for the services of someone whom I don't respect, particularly a therapist. But don't confuse respect for anything other than what it is. Respect does not mean I put her on a pedastal, that I am never angry with her, and it certainly doesn't mean that I "respect" her opinion above my own.

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