Processing positive or neutral things with T

Do you ever feel the need to process positive or neutral things with your T?

I know T has told me he wants me to be able to talk with him about anything so I assume positives fall under that heading of anything. Sometimes the need is stronger than others but it is always there at some level to process our first session together. The session was a much better, more comfortable experience than what I expected it to be. The phone call was aweful and there was a ton of anxiety. Going to the first appointment, sitting in the waiting area and the first session itself were really peaceful (?) and I feel like I need to process this with T. I mentioned it to him in an email and he has not brought it up but it is normal for him to not bring up something sent to his email.

So I am interested in others experiences of processing positives or if you ever went back and processed the first session.

It's your session; you can choose what you want to talk about/process, and when. If your T brings up something you don't want to talk about, you don't have to. And positive things are great to talk about, because how you respond to those things can be just as important as the negative things.

I never felt the need to, so didn't. However, if it is important to you or means something to you, by all means bring it up! Nothing wrong in doing that.

I talk about positive experiences but I guess I haven't really talked about the ones that happen in therapy. I certainly think it's a good thing to talk about if you want to.

I discussed many positive things with my Ts, including elements of the therapy that I felt positive or successful. I usually find discussions like that useful because we can make it clear something is working well, can understand why, and try to use more of it in the future. I think talking about positive experiences can also help reinforce new, better ways of seeing things and new coping skills.

Can you explain what you mean by processing? I assume there is more to it than just mentioning something positive or neutral in passing, but I'm unclear what processing actually means whenever it comes up. I have a rather theatrical, TV-inspired idea of what it might mean in terms of negative stuff, but not so much for positive. And if something is neutral, would there be anything to process? I was under the impression that processing had something to do with feelings.

I did not. For me, it would not have been beneficial to talk about positive things with a therapist.

I don’t know if it is my autism, the trauma, or my cynicism but positive experiences can be just as unnerving or bothersome as negative ones. Talking on the phone with T the first time was a train wreck but I know I don’t do well with phones. But then I wasn’t too anxious driving to his office even though I usually have overwhelming anxiety about getting lost, being late, having the wrong day/time and meeting new people. I was thankful for the welcome sign in front of the door I was supposed to use (there are three). When I got inside the paperwork was waiting for me beside the couch, which, given the layout was where I would sit even though it isn’t the typical spot. I would have sat next to the paperwork no matter where he had put it because I interpret that as defining the appropriate spot where I belong (yes, irrational I know). When T came down the stairs he started talking to me before he came in the room so he didn’t startle me. He stood pretty far away but when I stood up and faced him he reached out to shake my hand... mundane I know, but it meant a lot because it was normal social graces. He went up the stairs first and had me shut the door to his office. As soon as I stepped in it smelled wonderfully familiar and comforting. I looked at the seating options, a chair facing the door, a chair on the other side of part of his desk or the couch. Normally I would have sat to the far right side of the couch near the door and melt into the armrest. I sat in the middle though, directly across from him and very close. I am sure he saw me as anxious but compared to my other T’s it was more like me once I felt comfortable than the terror of a first session. After just a few minutes with him my biggest fear was that he would not take me on as a client and I nearly started begging. He asked about things that would normally make me very uncomfortable, like being afraid of men but asked in a way that I didn’t feel threatened at all (Omers, have men hurt you in the past?). Honestly, being that comfortable is unnerving for me.
Typically the first session I am very scared because I don’t know what to expect. So, I go in all puffed up, professional, have it together, distant, alpha B*. If I get called out then I do get scared and anxious and curl tightly into the corner but still try to be together and distant. The smells, what he was wearing, how he sat... everything comes back to me like a flashback and it was good but I want to cry.

I talk about positive experiences in my life with then, and also with positive feedback about how the therapist is doing.

Monday, T called and left me a voicemail. I'm going to play it for L when I see her on Friday. I also share my arts and crafts, pictures of my home and pets, joys, and much more. I like showing them I have multiple sides. It also helps them to see my range and progress.

I share the positives for a few reasons. One us that we often talk about upcoming events. Example T knew how happy her saf I was when my daughter was graduating. I also worked with her for 10 years so she watched my kids grow and helped me with parenting.

I also share with them so they know t by at d es lite all the cr as of my past I know I am blessed with many positives.

Sometimes this is how I start my appt to get the discussion rolling.

I love how you describe your first session Omers. I think I can get little understanding about why you might want to process it with him. (I could be completely off-base though!) But it seems there were so many little touches, little acts, that all together helped you feel so much more at ease and so much safer than you ever thought you could be in that sort of situation. And this surprised you, and still does!
I think it could be really helpful for you to "walk through this" with your T. I think it would certainly be helpful for him (feedback about things that support neuro-diverse clients is always good) and I get the feeling it would be really helpful for you too.
Since you keep having that feeling of wanting to process it with your T it can only mean that there is more for you to process about it. I think you should go for it.

I sometimes process positive stuff with my T since I'm pessimistic, and that makes it hard to accept when good things happen. I need help with dealing with positive emotions as well as the negatives.

I am rarely that anxious when I meet someone new (including the Ts I interviewed in the past) but definitely had experiences when I felt instantly very comfortable and connected with someone. Many experiences in fact, and I like to listen to that first impression/instinct because it has prompted me good choices maybe at least 80% of the time. The word I would use to describe what that type of impression signals to me is compatibility; it can feel very natural, effortless and pleasant. I never had that experience with a therapist in the first session but had many times with new work-related connections or people I just meet randomly. I was also told several times that the other person felt similarly in those encounters. It has always been useful for me to ponder what exactly happens in these situations and discuss it with the other - as you can see, the awareness and knowing how it works has lead to trusting my instincts and a healthier level of self-confidence. I think it is valuable and a T might be a good person to discuss it as he might be more interested/willing to discuss it than random people we encounter in life. Especially if you have social anxiety and want to improve your comfort and communication skills, I think it can be helpful to understand what happens when things go naturally well.

I occasionally talk about positive experiences with my therapist. We don't spend much time on it, and he usually just says some reaffirming words and we move on, but it's helpful to me because I'm pessimistic and anxious and I often fail to appreciate the good things that happen. It's something I'm having to learn to do.

I know I sometimes feel the need to share positive things with him, but I don’t necessarily want to process them, if that makes sense?