Couch 199: The Unennennium Couch

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

it's so hard letting them grow up and deal with t heir own lives. i'm really struggling trying to let my son deal with his current issue i want to just fix it for him. h said you know we could just figure out how to buy them a condo and have them pay us rent but then they wouldn't learn anything. we have to let them grow upand learn and figure their own way through this. he is ok with them stayin gher e for a couple-3 weeks, idon't know yet how he'll feel about it may bebeing longer thanthat. I hope you get to see your D soon. how old is she? my son will be 21 in November.

She is 19 I can't believe she is. It's just an another unbelievable thing my brain can't deal with. Your H is right you have to let them go off and get things wrong. I remember my T saying not to worry about her as she has her own path to make. But it's hard not to.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:23 AM

And sometimes I panic and think that maybe I haven't prepared them properly, but to do that I would have to have imagined every possible scenario which is of course impossible.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

And sometimes I panic and think that maybe I haven't prepared them properly, but to do that I would have to have imagined every possible scenario which is of course impossible.

I do that too, panic that we haven't prepared him properly. And I lay awake more nights than I care to think about worrying about all of the mistakes I made raising him. Sometimes I wonder why I let myself become a mother. But it was my dream forever. And there was SO much joy in raising him too. He loved me so big when he was little. I was the center of his world, his sunshine, his everything for those brief years. I never in my life felt as loved as I did when he was a little tyke. And now he loves his gf. And I know that's how it's supposed to be. But my heart's a little broken anyway.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

She is 19 I can't believe she is. It's just an another unbelievable thing my brain can't deal with. Your H is right you have to let them go off and get things wrong. I remember my T saying not to worry about her as she has her own path to make. But it's hard not to.

L told me something similar - when I found out he was having sex with his first gf a few years ago - she said "You've done your job, he's cooked, it's up to him now" or something like that. Well I know i got the "he's cooked" part right.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:31 AM

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I do that too, panic that we haven't prepared him properly. And I lay awake more nights than I care to think about worrying about all of the mistakes I made raising him. Sometimes I wonder why I let myself become a mother. But it was my dream forever. And there was SO much joy in raising him too. He loved me so big when he was little. I was the center of his world, his sunshine, his everything for those brief years. I never in my life felt as loved as I did when he was a little tyke. And now he loves his gf. And I know that's how it's supposed to be. But my heart's a little broken anyway.

I know.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:31 AM

everybody has bad things happen to them it's part of life. i have to keep reminding myself of that. if we didn't have bad stuff, we wouldn't know the good stuff was good stuff when it happens and all that jazz. he works so hard, he's already been working at this machine shop for 3 years, he started right out of high school and went to college while working full time. i remind myself i've had some crap lately too, the shingles and appendix surgery combo in May, crap happens to everybody, it's just part of life, and if i try to keep shielding him from crap then he'll never learn how to deal with it. so i need to let him deal with it.

SheHulk07 · Jun 28, 2019 at 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Yours is an online class too? My online poetry writing class is in week 5 right now; I have to write reviews of 6 poems by my 3 other group members and discussion post responses by tomorrow night at 11:59pm. Have not started yet, just got the poems late last night. Mines an 8 week class how long is yours?

I hope you're able to talk to your t on the phone. Hugs

This first class is only 4 weeks. Mostly about how to be successful as a grad student, citing references/summarizing articles, and a career path powerpoint at the end. The whole program is online.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:38 AM

and oh yeah let's not forget my flat tire on the way home from L today haha. I emailed her when I finally made it back home and told her that the universe gave me a lesson on the way home about one of the things we were discussing there today, about not worrying what might happen, instead just live life and enjoy it and deal with whatever happens when it happens. So the universe said "ok, let's give Artie a lesson in dealing with stuff when it happens and blow out her tire while her h is out of town so she can't call him to rescue her! Yes!" Seriously. I recognized it as a lesson and when I got off the road into a parking lot, I shrugged my shoulders, moved right past drama/emotional mess and just dealt with it. The AAA guy got there 15 minutes earlier than they estimated even.

it feels pretty good now, knowing that I just dealt with it in the moment without any drama. especially considering how i've been so hugely emotional the past week or so.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

This first class is only 4 weeks. Mostly about how to be successful as a grad student, citing references/summarizing articles, and a career path powerpoint at the end. The whole program is online.

Oh nice! I am taking undergrad courses right now, to get my undergrad GPA up to 3.0 so I can apply to a master's program if I decide to go for it. I'm still waffling on that. Because of my age, I'll be 57 next week, and I don't know how much sense it makes to pursue a graduate degree when i'm this old and stuff.... i know if it's what i really want i shouldn't let age deter me but it's a legitimate concern I feel... I hope you are enjoying your class! I am loving being back in school. I'm so happy I went back finally. This is my 5th class since i started again doing one class a semester.

Jun 28, 2019 at 03:44 AM

thanks for talking with me shehulk and BCM it's going on 2am now i think i better really make an effort to get some zzzzz's I have to be up for work in 3 hours....

SheHulk07 · Jun 28, 2019 at 03:54 AM

Night artie.
It's almost 3am here. Just finished 1 discussion post and 1 assignment. Just have to review it tomorrow and make sure it's correct before I submit it. I'm planning on taking the kids to the children's museum tomorrow. I have a voucher for a free full year family membership that I have to redeem before the 30th.

Lemoncake · Jun 28, 2019 at 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So my gym that banned news channels is now using their TVs to show the Biggest Loser and the TLC type of shows like “I weigh 5 tons.” Shows I regard as nothing but exploitation and fat shaming. And in the case of the Biggest Loser, promoting unhealthy ways to lose weight.

Maybe you could complain. Perhaps in a stupid way they think in a stupid way it will make people want to work out harder?

My gym shows just shows fitness models working out mainly Anllela segra and USN ones.

Lemoncake · Jun 28, 2019 at 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Oh nice! I am taking undergrad courses right now, to get my undergrad GPA up to 3.0 so I can apply to a master's program if I decide to go for it. I'm still waffling on that. Because of my age, I'll be 57 next week, and I don't know how much sense it makes to pursue a graduate degree when i'm this old and stuff.... i know if it's what i really want i shouldn't let age deter me but it's a legitimate concern I feel... I hope you are enjoying your class! I am loving being back in school. I'm so happy I went back finally. This is my 5th class since i started again doing one class a semester.

No lies but at my first university we had a student in their 70s. I saw him in the lunch hall and he was the same as any other student. You're never too old to stop learning!

Meet some of the UK's oldest university students - BBC News

Oldest person to get Cambridge MA is 102 year old who finally decided to 'complete CV' - Telegraph

Kenyan grandmother, 90, 'world's oldest primary school pupil' - Telegraph

Lemoncake · Jun 28, 2019 at 04:19 AM

R in 40-16 mins.

Yesterday's session he said that we were stuck.

That maybe he should charge me his full fee and for emails.
He hasn't replied to any for the past two weeks and said he would when he thought they were worth replying to as I wasted a lot of his and my time.
And that he hadn't decided if he still wanted to work with me.

Beginning of the end?

Lemoncake · Jun 28, 2019 at 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

And sometimes I panic and think that maybe I haven't prepared them properly, but to do that I would have to have imagined every possible scenario which is of course impossible.

I don't have kids. You're doing the best you can but i think the best thing any parent could do is just be the safe base that they can return to.

Lemoncake · 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I do that too, panic that we haven't prepared him properly. And I lay awake more nights than I care to think about worrying about all of the mistakes I made raising him. Sometimes I wonder why I let myself become a mother. But it was my dream forever. And there was SO much joy in raising him too. He loved me so big when he was little. I was the center of his world, his sunshine, his everything for those brief years. I never in my life felt as loved as I did when he was a little tyke. And now he loves his gf. And I know that's how it's supposed to be. But my heart's a little broken anyway.

He does still love you and always will. No parent is ever perfect and it's so much more than just providing food and clothing. You created a home for your child. A place where he could actually feel safe. That means so much more than you could ever know. I remember when your son told you about booking that hotel, I would never even consider that conversation. I'm still waiting for simple things like the sex talk. the family picture, eating dinner at the table, a holiday and bed time stories.

Lemoncake · Jun 28, 2019 at 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

R in 40-16 mins.

Yesterday's session he said that we were stuck.

That maybe he should charge me his full fee and for emails.
He hasn't replied to any for the past two weeks and said he would when he thought they were worth replying to as I wasted a lot of his and my time.
And that he hadn't decided if he still wanted to work with me.

Beginning of the end?

I told him I would rate him with an A for today's session.

He was softer, more gentle and also told me that he cared.

Jun 28, 2019 at 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

R in 40-16 mins.

Yesterday's session he said that we were stuck.

That maybe he should charge me his full fee and for emails.

He hasn't replied to any for the past two weeks and said he would when he thought they were worth replying to as I wasted a lot of his and my time.

And that he hadn't decided if he still wanted to work with me.

Beginning of the end?

I'm so sorry, Lemoncake. Big hugs. That must have been so very hard to hear and I think it was so wrong of him to say you wasted his time. I think anything we feel, type, or say can be grist for the mill in therapy and nothing is ever a waste of time. My work with L has shown me that as I continue to go back every time I try to leave. It's all-all part of "the work" I suppose. Hugs

Jun 28, 2019 at 08:21 AM

As I was leaving L's office yesterday I glanced at the sand tray and felt soooo pulled to the sand. I almost asked to stay a little longer so I could do a sand tray! I almost wish I had!

atisketatasket · Jun 28, 2019 at 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

and oh yeah let's not forget my flat tire on the way home from L today haha. I emailed her when I finally made it back home and told her that the universe gave me a lesson on the way home about one of the things we were discussing there today, about not worrying what might happen, instead just live life and enjoy it and deal with whatever happens when it happens. So the universe said "ok, let's give Artie a lesson in dealing with stuff when it happens and blow out her tire while her h is out of town so she can't call him to rescue her! Yes!" Seriously. I recognized it as a lesson and when I got off the road into a parking lot, I shrugged my shoulders, moved right past drama/emotional mess and just dealt with it. The AAA guy got there 15 minutes earlier than they estimated even.

it feels pretty good now, knowing that I just dealt with it in the moment without any drama. especially considering how i've been so hugely emotional the past week or so.

Lots of women, myself included, find it a boost to self-confidence and reassuring to take a basic auto mechanic/repair course. That way you don’t have to call a man or AAA to rescue you for a flat.

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Couch 199: The Unennennium Couch

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Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 28, 2019 at 03:23 AM #142 And sometimes I panic and think that maybe I haven't prepared them properly, but to do that I would have to have imagined every possible scenario which is of course impossible.

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 28, 2019 at 03:44 AM #150 thanks for talking with me shehulk and BCM it's going on 2am now i think i better really make an effort to get some zzzzz's I have to be up for work in 3 hours....

SheHulk07 Magnate Member Since Oct 2013 Location: CO Posts: 2,305 10 871 hugs given	Jun 28, 2019 at 03:54 AM #151 Night artie. It's almost 3am here. Just finished 1 discussion post and 1 assignment. Just have to review it tomorrow and make sure it's correct before I submit it. I'm planning on taking the kids to the children's museum tomorrow. I have a voucher for a free full year family membership that I have to redeem before the 30th.

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 28, 2019 at 08:21 AM #159 As I was leaving L's office yesterday I glanced at the sand tray and felt soooo pulled to the sand. I almost asked to stay a little longer so I could do a sand tray! I almost wish I had!